Never Lose the Hope of Love
by KiahTrickster
Summary: A difficult case causes Melinda to make a certain detective an interesting offer that leads to something more. They have both been hurt in previous relationships and are wary of love for different reasons. Will they find it again with each other? Or will their friendship be the consequence? An attempt at smut with a plot (eventually), Fin and Melinda pairing.
1. Chapter 1

First SVU Fin and Melinda as a couple, reviews are loved

Disclaimer: All characters are property of Dick Wolf and who ever else is in charge, this is just for fun

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She walked across the darkened squad, most of the detectives had gone home; it had been a long day and case. Her part had been minimal and dropping off the report was the end of it. The squad though had worked hard to close it, and the operation had been rough.

From the gossip she had heard Fin had been the only one to stick it out in the club all night. They had successfully broken up a human trafficking ring because of it. But there were supposed to be six men in the club; by the end of the night there had been one.

The female undercover s had needed the men to act as bases, only Fin had stayed; one gun in the place. It had been luck he'd gotten his chance at a shot and even more that he had waited it out. There would be jokes for months to come.

But looking at the detective hunched over his desk she knew she wasn't going to be making any. The man was uncomfortable, as anyone would be after repeated lap dances; though she wasn't sure how good the ucs had been.

"How are you feeling Fin?" She left the report on Benson's desk and moved to his.

"I'm alright, just finishing up." He sat up straighter but she could tell by his position he wasn't too comfortable anyway he sat.

"Walk out with me?" She leaned against the edge of his desk, they had been friends for a long time; she had seen him struggle before. But this was different, and maybe that was what compelled her to push a little.

"Thanks Melinda but I'm gonna finish this out." He picked up a closed file and she rolled her eyes.

"Leave it for tomorrow, everyone else is gone. Want to get a drink?"

"Nah, think I'll just head home." He sighed and pushed back from the desk; she glanced down to his lap; he either had incredible self-control or was in a world of pain. "Thanks for the offer."

Standing close to him she kept her voice low, not that there was anyone close to hear her but all the same she didn't want her offer spread around. "I can think of something that will feel a lot better on that than your hand Fin."

His eyes widened and he pulled back slightly. "I really can't Melinda; it wouldn't be fair."

"How so? You didn't ask, I offered; I think it is completely fair. You spent most of the evening sitting in a strip joint, find much relief?" They walked side by side out of the precinct, she angled towards her car; he stayed with her.

"No I didn't, but I don't see anyone else thinking I need some help."

"No, they left you there responsible for all the UCS, the only one you were supposed to watch was Rollins right? Can she dance?" She stopped by her car, he turned to face her.

"Not really, but she has a day job; gossip's moving fast. Damn, why do you care?" He sighed; she saw the desire in his eyes.

"You're my friend."

"A step above friendship, Melinda drop it." He was easing closer even as his words said he was pulling away. "I need you to drop it."

"Do you need me to drop it, or do you want me to drop it so you don't give into what you want?" She didn't back up and neither did he.

"Damn it. Melinda, want a drink? My place though I don't have the patience for a bar." He sighed, easing in for a moment before moving away; rounding the car.

She nodded silently, Fin didn't want what his body needed and she wasn't sure why. They drove in silence, he gave her directions occasionally. She followed him up the stairs, waited as he unlocked the door; and then got a couple beers.

"Thanks." She took the beer and sat on the couch, he took the other end.

"No problem." He took a swig and tipped his head back. "Melinda why? We are friends, I don't want to change that or wreck it."

"I think our friendship would stand it Fin. My question would be that a man who is uncomfortable already is concerned about a friendship? What are you afraid of Fin, into kink?" She reached for his thigh, his hand stopped hers.

Yet he looked down she filed it silently, maybe he was into kink; she wasn't completely opposed. And tonight he likely wouldn't care if she wasn't interested. "Melinda it's not what you think."

"What do I think?" She eased closer, he stiffened his hand shifted. She glanced down; she had figured out his trick and knew it had to hurt. He'd tucked it down the leg of his jeans and bent his knee to help hide it.

"We don't have to go all the way." She startled, he was talking more to himself than to her. "I'm to wound. Just play, I won't hurt you." His words were barely a whisper.

"I know you won't." She soothed, reaching for his knee, he blocked her hand again; but this time held it. "I know you won't, you have every reason to be wound up; I understand."

He took both her hands, easing closer. "I won't." His words a whisper, his hands moved to cup her face. "But you are also worth so much more; deserve so much more."

Melinda was stunned for a moment, but she didn't get a chance to think of words; his lips were on hers. He was gentle; the kiss was chaste even as he pulled her closer. She savored it, parting her lips as he spread her legs, lifting her into his lap; she let him have control.

He wanted to groan, it was years ago he said he wouldn't put himself in this position again; his hand worked well enough. And yet he was desperate, it was so good to have a partner and he had learned how to use his mouth and his hands; the past had taught him that.

Melinda was a friend, that alone would keep him in check but touching her alone was bringing him close; was better than his hand by far. She hadn't pushed that hard to get his hands on her, hadn't needed to and wasn't like her.

Yet he needed it badly, to explore her and savor her; he'd stop there. After that he became useless; he couldn't find pleasure within her without bringing her pain; it was a cruel twist of fate. He had been told once and it had kept him in check, twice had taught him not to try.

Now though he wasn't trying, not for that; he would find his release in hers. She was responsive not only to him but for him; her hand kept trying to help him. It told him enough, she wasn't looking out only for herself and in that he could find pleasure.

Yet she was willing, had cared enough to push, and beautiful, her hands smoothed over his shoulders as he explored her mouth. Turning he eased her back onto the couch his pulse hammered as her eyes opened.

Warm chocolate eyes, her skin was like coffee with milk; he wanted to strip her and see all of her. Sliding his fingers over her neck he eased his mouth down her jaw and sucked above her pulse. She was warm soft, his hands slid under her shoulders, pausing; he lifted her up; pulling her against him.

"Fin." His name sounded good out of her mouth, she was getting ready.

"Sh Mel, I just want a bed." He pressed his mouth against hers, walking her towards his bedroom.

"Sounds good." Her hands slipped down his chest, her touch was good; even through his clothes.

He stopped when her knees pressed against the bed. She was still in her scrubs, he let his hands ride down to her hips and took a deep breath. His finger slid under the top, her skin was silky soft; her breathing hitched.

Pushing the shirt up he watched her eyes, she raised her arms; he pulled it away. He stepped closer, hands sliding over her shoulders pulling her body against his. He leaned his cheek against her forehead, letting his fingers slide up her front.

She groaned as his fingers came close to her breasts; he pushed her back. Melinda let herself fall back, she looked incredible splayed over the bed; she reached up to him. He pulled his shirt off and dropped onto the bed near her.

He kissed her cheek, she angled towards him; he slid a hand under her back. He slipped the clasp on her bra, and pulled it away. It was his turn to groan as he prepared to feast on her. She groaned again, he pressed his lips to her collar bone.

Shifting his weight he pressed himself against her hip, lifting his hands to her breasts. Firm, warm she fit his hands perfectly. Leaning down he captured one nipple between his lips; he felt his own body pulse with her whimper.

"So good." Her hand cupped the back of his head the other running over his back; she was right. He laved gently at the soft flesh, kneading the other softly with his hand; he squeezed and she tensed. He pressed a knee to her core and a low moan escaped her; he had to stop.

Taking two deep breaths he let his breath wash over her, controlling his desire even as she squirmed. He moved to give the same attention to her other breast; supporting his weight on his other arm. Fin lifted his head, watching her eyes as one hand slid down; easing his fingers into the tie on her pants.

Gently he eased the tie off he pulled them down; she lifted her hips to help. Watched her face as he tugged them free, she groaned and pulled herself up. "Strip Fin, your turn."

Her voice was thick and he groaned; it was tempting and yet he wasn't finished. "No babe, I'm not done yet."

Still he pulled away, he slid his hands up her legs and smiled as she shivered; hooking his fingers in her underwear. He pulled them down and watched her face, even as she closed her eyes her chin rose; her body was perfect.

Melinda writhed as his fingers glanced over her core; not slipping through where she wanted more. One finger slipped through and she groaned, arching her hips up. His lips pressed against the most sensitive part of her; she felt him pause.

His breathing was erratic, he was struggling against his own need; it wasn't what she wanted. No matter how good he made her feel it wasn't what she had intended. His breath teased her flesh, and his fingers slid close; opening her.

She sighed against the pleasure, knowing her body was close; his control thin. Much longer her body wasn't going to let her coax him into his own release; she wasn't sure he would seek it with her. The sweet pressure built inside her but she had to pull herself up.

There was confusion in his eyes, he stopped and pulled away. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good Fin, I want you; I'm really good." She reached for his cheek. "Please, let me give you a little pleasure."

"Melinda I can't, I can't hurt you." He leaned back, she watched him withdrawing; she hadn't helped with his need.

He was still in jeans but she was naked yet it didn't bother her. Leaning closer she pressed her lips to his, his hand slipped around her. "I don't think you will. Please, I want to cum, with you."

Her heart raced as he slid off the bed and reached for his jeans; his body stiff. He let his jeans fall and pulled at his boxers, his eyes closed; as if he was waiting for her to pull away. Yet when his clothes fell away she gulped; he might hurt a little.

But he didn't need to know that. "Come here."

His eyes opened his pain clear even as he stepped closer; resting a knee on the bed. She sighed as she took his hands, pulling him with her as she lay back; he could make his choice. "Let me get a condom."

"Fin, I'm taken care of." She didn't let him back away; a knot of fear was balling in her stomach; if he didn't do it soon she would back out.

He leaned over her, his errection heavy and close; the heat burned against her thigh as his weight settled against her. "Tell me to stop if I go too far."

She nodded, not trusting her voice as he pressed against her, her body opened to him and pleasure mixed with pain as he stretched her open. Maybe it would have been better if he moved quickly, or worse; she didn't know. Yet he filled, opened her and kept going; she heard herself yelp before she could stop and hissed through her teeth. "All the way, now."

His groan vibrated through her as he seated himself fully; a sharp jolt. He was almost more than she could take someone had hurt him she realized; and he'd taken it to heart. Still his cheek against hers she shut her eyes and lifted her hips letting him take her.

His hips started to rock and she felt him tremble; his body tense. He slid almost out and then back in, her back arched as pleasure tightened within her; he filled every part of her stretching her open so every nerve was hit.

As his pace settled she felt it, she was going up; close. "Please, please… you gotta.." she whimpered, waiting for her body to explode in the place caught between the pleasure of the end and the pain of getting there; she needed it.

Her voice was soft her hands against his shoulders; her words shook him. Yet it was good it took a moment to react; too pull back. His heart clenched, he had made a mistake and had made it with a friend. As he slid free her groan was tortured; he winced feeling like a teenager all over again. "Melinda I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

And in the instant he looked at her, her eyes flicked open there was pain there; but the hand reaching to him said it was because he denied her. "Damn it, I need you."

Her words a gasp, he lay over her and slid home, her hands cupped his face; it was all he could do not to let go. But slowly he stroked her back to the mantra, she whimpered and pleaded, he felt her body ripple. Her muscles gripped him tight and she screamed; aftershocks clenching around him.

Her chest hammered and he looked at her, struggling still with control; he moved again his own release undeniable now. He slid out and then pumped back in, his body clenching as his hips rocked; he crashed. Her muscles milked him as her arms snaked around his back; her voice was rich and heavy. "Let go."

He sighed as he came back, pulling his weight off her, he rolled to the side; gently slipping free. Never had he felt so sated, Melinda had offered everything he had dreamed of and more; he wasn't ready to let go of her.

He slipped into sleep comfortably, a hand splayed over her hip. It was much later that he woke, curled against her; his body was ready again. She was so peaceful, he needed to touch her, stroking her back; pressing his lips to her shoulder.

She moaned softly, whether still asleep or not he wasn't sure until she turned towards him. He smiled as she nuzzled his shoulder, her knee sliding over his hip. "Come here."

His body brushed against hers as her hands pulled him, rolling to her back. As much as he knew he should protest the invitation was good; and his errection no longer hurt. Yet a fear of hurting her hung heavy in his mind.

Still as he smoothed his lips against her pulse she bent her knees; he slid incredibly close. Like a teenage boy unable to deny himself he lifted her hips, she turned her face away; her body open. He couldn't choose whether to prepare her or take her; he needed her.

And that won out, he slid into her, and felt the tension break as her body melded around him. "So tight Mel."

He hissed as his weight fell against her, he pumped his hips once and she lifted hers in return; his sensed tortured something flipped deep inside of him. Hands slid under her knees pulling them to his shoulders and pressing his body against her chest; he lost control of his body.

She knew he was finding release, even as his body pressed hers to the bed; her breath caught roughly as he found something he liked. A scream ripped from her body as he pounded deep into her and her hips strained uncomfortably.

He slid out and pounded back in; pleasure turned quickly to pain and flipped back just as fast. There was a delicious tension in her as he settled into a rhythm; her body tightened and slipped over. He didn't stop but she wasn't sure she wanted him to.

Fin found his release, and his body collapsed onto her; his weight settled forcing him deeper into her body. She worked hard to control her breathing, her pleasure and the twinge of pain. He was gasping as he pulled away and she let his arm fall over her; her chest heaving.

It was a long time before she slept, an ache stirred deep in her body even as her mind raced. She had made her choice and had to live with it, didn't even regret it; put her own past trailed at her heels. Morning came quickly and she slipped from the bed, gathering her clothes.

"Melinda." She turned as he rose from the bed; reaching for her.

"I have to get home and change for work." Stepping away she pulled at her clothes.

"Alright, but we need to talk." He caught her wrist loosely in his hand, pulling her closer; his lips pressed to her cheek. "We really need to talk."


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to Delectable Sweetness for the review. I love them too, neither character gets enough time in the show.

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It was proving to be a long day, he wanted to be at home; or anywhere that wasn't the precinct. While the case was over people were still talking about it, he kept his mouth shut and worked the new case. It was hopefully going to be open and shut.

Still he snarled at the report he was working on, they had to wait for Warner's post and that meant going to see her. His stomach was tight and the comment he heard earlier from Amaro had him uncomfortable.

Fin knew he had made a mistake last night, and he knew they needed to talk it through; he hoped it wasn't going to come back on their work. Melinda was a good coroner; she was smart and saw things that others missed. But she also felt for people, and stood for those who couldn't; he respected that.

Munch finished a phone call and nodded, he knew that meant he was ready to go; and if he stood now he wouldn't get a lengthy update about why he needed to move his ass. He shadowed the scrawny man to the car; this case had gotten under the older man's skin.

"Hopefully the stick up Warner's ass isn't going to hold up this case." Munch growled as they walked into the morgue; he winced and didn't comment.

The stepped into the cooler air of the work room, Melinda had her back to them working on a computer. "You got anything helpful for us, or just another song and dance?"

"Maybe, depends how you view COD? Blunt trauma to the head, a single blow; I'm ruling inconclusive. It could have very easily have been self defense, especially with the scratches on his arms and cheek. If it works with your evidence I can lean towards accidental; I've got DNA running." Melinda spoke moving towards a gurney, she was moving stiffly he noticed; and it hurt him.

"So it could have been accidental or self defense? I'll take either, this perv deserves what he got, and that girl is hospitalized and traumatized. I'm going to call to have her priority changed; we have no reason to move her." Munch turned on heel and left pulling out his phone; Melinda turned back to the computer.

He moved closer, blocking her escape; she glanced back. "DNA will take some time, prints were sent to CSU; you will have your final answers as soon as possible."

"That's not what I want, I need to apologize. I hurt you Melinda, I can see it now and I hate myself for it; we need to talk. Will you come over after work tonight? I promise only to talk."

She looked at him for a long moment before nodding. "I'll be there."

Fin took a step back, and then another pausing to look at her; he hoped she meant it. He glanced at the sheet on the table before taking his leave. He wanted this case put to bed now, both for the horror of it and because he wanted to leave on time.

Nothing gave reason that it shouldn't be simple to close, everything lined up with the victim's statement. She was attacked and fought back, forcing her attacker back he hit his head; she called it in. They followed through and processed it all, and for once it was straightforward.

He needed that, the simplicity. Munch worked with the victim, he handled the reports; there were multiple open cases in New Jersey. They did what they could and passed it off for the NJPD to close out their cases, prints were a match and DNA was pending but there were few questions.

The day crawled by but he was relieved to leave at the end of shift. Still he paced the apartment; everything in his life was turning upside down again. Years ago he had been young and foolish; he'd learned that once was enough.

Once had been enough to create Ken, he didn't question that his son was his; but he had known his ex wanted little to do with him. He had made sex miserable for her once, and he hated himself for it. Yet he had tried to take care of his son, he had failed at that too.

Melinda hesitated at the door, taking a deep breath before knocking. Sometimes it was harder to lie in the bed you made than to make it; she was feeling that now. Still Fin opened the door almost immediately, his eyes questioned her; examined her silently.

"You get that case closed out?" She took a spot on the end of the couch, he sat next to her; closer than last night.

"Mostly, it might take some time to wrap up completely, he had victims in New Jersey; our end is clear. I don't want to talk shop Melinda; we need to talk about last night." He sighed, she studied his face, and last night she realized someone had hurt him but today she could see it more clearly.

"Fin, you didn't hurt me, I have no issue with my body remembering that I had sex; it is satisfying. I don't know what else to tell you, I don't even have a good reason for myself." She wanted to rub her temples, everything in her life was bubbling up; it had been one decision.

"That's better than what I've got." His tone was defeated but his hand reached for her thigh; resting there as if it belonged. "I'm still sorry, not that I took you to bed, that was amazing but that I didn't do it right; and I'm not sure I find it satisfying that you are sore today."

"Fin, you did it just right; there is no reason to be sorry for anything at all. Will you tell me who hurt you?" His hand tightened over her thigh, and his jaw shifted but he didn't pull back from her.

"I owe you that much, we were teenagers and dating a couple weeks; both of us stupid. It was my first time and she was nice but I think found it funny; I learned later that she had a rough past. We only go so far and she made me stop; I stopped moving but couldn't stop my reaction.

"Some jokes had been made in the showers and stuff but she was cruel, and I had tried to be gentle with her. We broke up and I decided I wouldn't date again, then she called; she told me she was on the pill. But she got pregnant, I was stupid, really stupid but I tried to support my son.

"She always blamed me for it, but I don't know what she wanted, when I came around she tried to make me leave as soon as possible. When I was busy for a bit and couldn't get by I got blamed for that and then told to leave.

"My child support was always on time, and I didn't miss a birthday or Christmas but it has never been what she wanted. I had a son when I was twenty, I had screwed up my first real relationship and I didn't date again until much later but nothing had changed; she told me no. But then tried to make it work, she taught me to use my fingers and my mouth, until that wasn't what she wanted either.

"I've learned to deal, last night I lost control; I can keep myself in check….." He trailed off, she could see his mind was slipping back into the past; into the hurtful things said and done.

"You shouldn't have to, and have no reason too. Fin, you were good to me, you are bigger than some guys but I don't mind. And I don't think you were treated fairly, but I also think you were treated so cruelly because you are a good guy; you care about whether your partner enjoys it." She reached for his knee, leaning a little closer, the women he had found had tried to destroy the best part of him; with a lot of men they would have succeeded but he still cared and tried.

"I shouldn't have unloaded all that on you."

"I'm glad you told me, and I'm sorry you were hurt," she hesitated only a second, "I know what it is to have a relationship scar you."

"Your divorce was messy?"

"More like my entire marriage was." She shook her head that was one way to put it; though it didn't even begin to describe the pain. "My ideas were too conventional to start with."

"I don't know I used to think someday I'd find one person to spend the rest of my life with; everyone is allowed to dream." Her tone had shifted, he knew she had divorced her husband of seventeen years a couple years back; everyone had been surprised. They hadn't been a couple who came out to functions together very often; he had worked with her for years and seen the man maybe twice.

She sniffed a little, he wasn't sure he was ready to know what hurt her; it still hurt her so much now that she thought about it. Every line of her body had changed, there was a fight inside her; he thought of last night. "What did he do to make you afraid of your own body?"

Her gaze shifted to his sharply, she had hid it well and he had been horny but the fear that had slipped through her eyes when he pulled her into his lap hadn't been fast enough to miss. "He did a lot of things, said a lot of things."

Fin reached for her wrapping an arm over her shoulders; pulling her against his side. He gave her the time to decide and when she started to speak he knew it hadn't been easy. "There were two things I was sure of growing up, I was going to serve my country and I was going to be a doctor. Trevor and I started dating a few weeks after I got my acceptance to the air force.

" I had joined straight out of high school and I wanted to be a medic so they put me in training first, I did eight months at home and then was transferred to work with a doctor on the floor and did courses while I worked; monitored by my superior. I was almost killed on tour, all of us were.

"I came home, he proposed, it had been a year since I'd seen him and I was excited; but he wanted to wait until after my second tour. He was hoping I'd get killed and he'd have a sob story to tell. But I did it and survived, came home and went to school; Air Force paid for it. Took honorable discharge and married him." She was trembling, not just her voice; even as he held her firmly against him.

"I thought we had a real marriage for maybe the first four months, by then I was pregnant. I loved kids, I always dreamed of a big family but within the first year of my daughter's life I gave up on that. He never touched me, never wanted me; for a while I thought the pregnancy and changes had thrown him.

"But I learned I just wasn't really to his tastes, black and no enhancements. We were married though and had a little girl who was growing up so fast; I had no proof of what he wanted or was doing. By the time I was sure, our daughter was five and her best friend's parents were getting divorced.

"It nearly destroyed Kaylen and I had a two sobbing five year olds to try and console; her best friend was going to live with her mom in Virginia. Eventually the girl was back, living with the father and the two were still friends but I'd seen what that did to my daughter when it was her friend's parents splitting.

"Trevor and I sat down and discussed it. I told him I knew he was cheating; he denied it at first but then gave up. He liked being married, I went through med school without the debt so we were comfortable; and finding sluts was easy. We decided we didn't have to have a real marriage but we would put our daughter first and that meant not destroying her home.

"I threw myself into work and Kaylen's activities and ignored him; we only talked about her needs. Planned an occasional birthday party together, or what a good Christmas gift would be. Other than when he got drunk it worked well, I made him sleep in the office and just stayed clear.

"But when he got drunk he'd get the idea he could have me, that I was supposed to be his wife and we would have sex. But all he would do when I told him no was criticize my body; he didn't like my chest in particular, to small." He shivered; she had enjoyed having her breasts touched; he hated the man who tried to take that from her. He wanted her to finish, to know if by some grace her ex had died; or if he was living in an area where street contacts could give him a world of pain; the man had used a woman for seventeen years.

"I'd push him a way and then go to sleep with Kaylen or in the office. I'd decided long before even that to divorce him once Kay was old enough to understand, I'd planned to wait until she was eighteen; let her have high school and graduation with her family intact. Then sit down and talk to her, I didn't plan to tell her the truth about her father but some of it; that he and I couldn't get along.

"But she was sixteen and we got in a fight, she wanted to get her belly button pierced; and I wasn't opposed but I did want her to get it done somewhere reputable. But she took my questions as insult and hurled some of her own." Her voice faltered, she had been hurt as much by her daughter's words as her husband's; he wasn't sure why she had put herself through it.

"She thought I was weak for staying with him, supporting him; she didn't realize I knew about his cheating. But then I didn't think she knew, had worked hard to keep it from her, turns out she found out when she was eight. He took her with him to some woman's apartment, she watched TV while they had sex; and not just once either.

"I was so furious, with him, with her and with myself; I told her I had known since before she could even remember and then didn't speak to her for days. The only thing I had wanted, the only reason I didn't divorce him sooner was her and she had known for almost all of her life.

"I was so mad I made stupid decisions, I bought myself a house and moved most of my things out. Kaylen didn't want to talk to me, I didn't want to see him; I had no reason to go back there. I cut him off, told him we were getting divorced and told him he could have the house by that was it; I wasn't giving him another penny.

"Kaylen was old enough to decide where she wanted to live and I would support her, pay for her school and anything she needed; but he had to take care of himself. He was furious but I filed the papers without talking to my daughter, she didn't speak to me until I made it known I was going back to my maiden name.

"If I got to change mine she got to change hers; she didn't want his name any more than I did. Needless to say I dropped the issue, she is his daughter too; he had some right to her even if it was only a name. But it got us talking again, I learned a lot, and she said she was glad we waited to divorce but I'm still not sure about that.

"She lived with me till college, to my knowledge she hasn't had any contact with him since she was waiting for me to hear that the divorce was finalized and he tried to talk to her. He used to call sometimes to try and get me to put her on; I let her make the choice. I honestly didn't try to take his daughter away but I wasn't going to force her to talk to him when I didn't want to." Her sigh shook her entire body and he wrapped both arms around her; pulling her cheek to his chest.

"It was the only relationship I had and it was a complete failure; and it took seventeen years of my life. I married a man I didn't know, I might have when I first left but I was twenty three when I came home and actually spent time with him; and that time was just decorating my jail cell."

"Would you be terribly sad if he got mugged?" It was only half a joke. "The man is a disgrace to my gender."

Her laugh was shaky, she tried to pull away but he barred his arms against her; she didn't need to be alone. "No, but if it was orchestrated someone could get in a lot of trouble. He isn't worth it."

"That is a matter of opinion, I hate him and you assume the favors I'm owed are minor; if it was orchestrated there would be no proof. I hate what he did to you, and I lay full blame on him; you tried to give your daughter a good start and it cost a lot." He wasn't sure he ever wanted to let her go, she had a big heart and it had been broken by scum; something he would never have done even to his ex.

"It's over, it's over and I never have to go back; that's what I tell myself." She gave him a faltering smile, it didn't ease his mind.

"Let me tell you something. Last night, it wasn't a mistake and neither was this. My only regret is that you had to push, you deserve more; so much more. Your ex-husband made a terrible mistake and I hope you don't believe he ever loved you; that he could do that and love you." He paused for a moment, he didn't want to hurt her in the rush of anger he felt inside himself; she started to speak but he stopped her.

"You are perfect, beautiful and more than any man deserves. I don't know what I hate more the fact it happened or the fact that I considered you friend and never knew. You work with us almost every day." He cupped one cheek, his other hand rubbing circles on her back.

"Fin, it didn't matter it was my choice and it didn't need to be everyone's business."

"Stabler and I could have paid him a visit any given day of any year and at least made him a little more careful. You work with cops every day, that was abuse if you won't admit to anything else it was financial abuse; but any of us could have pinned him for a lot more. There were ways."

"I had a child with him, I can hate him with all I am but he is my daughter's father. He was good to her, he made bad choices but there were many other good ones; she has good memories of her dad. Even if she hates him now, when she was little she adored him; she'd always try to stay up until he got home. And someday they may have a relationship again, it does no good for me to drag him through the mud; put myself through it." Her breathing was shaky; he didn't want to push further; at least not on that.

"Melinda you deserve more, and I wish I could give it to; I wish you'd let me give it to you. Not because of all this, but because you deserve it, you're a good friend and a good person. We skipped a few steps, but I'd like you to be with me, I promise you that I'll treasure you." He let her pull away, enough to look into her eyes. "Will you let me?"

She just stared at him, his hands roved her back; her heart pounded. He was gentle and he knew, he knew and he didn't think it was stupid. He had taken her and wanted her again; taken her again. Yet she was afraid to commit, she had known him for years but to take this step. "Promise me this, if it doesn't work out between us…"

"We will find friendship again, it won't trap you and it won't hurt you; no matter what." His fingers brushed her cheek, tucking a curl behind her ear. "I just want to be near you, with you."

"Please don't hurt Trevor." She hated him and yet his joke had been close; she didn't doubt he could and was starting to doubt that he hadn't meant it.

"I won't as long as he leaves you alone, you gave him seventeen years; he doesn't need another minute. And if he does come near you he is mine; and I won't make any promises." His voice hollowed on his last words, she swallowed hard; she just nodded.

"I don't regret last night and I don't regret telling you the truth; I'm glad you told me yours too." Her voice was barely a whisper but she knew he had heard her.

His hands roved over her back again, one sliding straight down her spine and then up; under her top. "Will you let me show you something? Something important?"

She nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

He settled his hands over her hips, anticipation and fear coursed through her as he lifted her over to his lap. Her shirt was dragged free followed quickly by her bra, his gaze was hot and she sat topless as he inspected her. His gaze roamed shamelessly over her, she brought her hands up to cover herself; he only brushed them away.

"You are beautiful Melinda, don't cover yourself. Look at you, I didn't take the time to appreciate you last night; I should have. Tell me what you like." His hands skated up her sides, pausing over a scar, a memory she wouldn't soon forget.

She was silent as his hands roved closer, lifting her as if testing the weight; his touch so light she longed for more. "I think you did just fine."

His hands closed over her, massaging the flesh; it felt good and took her breath away. His fingers tugged at her nipples, rolling them into hard nubs sending ribbons of pleasure through her body. She watched as he leaned closer, knowing what he was going to do; a pang of need shot through her.

"I think you are absolutely perfect, Melinda full and firm; you are so responsive." He laved her nipples and sucked lightly; she groaned. He was going to take her over without any effort, she could feel it building.

He moved his mouth over as he pleased, she arched against him hoping to get contact in one spot long enough to bring herself up. He nipped lightly and it was all she needed; her body soared. No one had taken the time to find what she liked before, to spend time making her feel good; it had never been so easy to find release. "Will you stay tonight?"

His voice was husky near her ear; she leaned back against his hands, grateful for his strength; otherwise she would have tipped backwards. She nodded, letting pleasure soak through her as she found herself scooped into his arms.

He loved watching her go over, she was so beautiful and her body so responsive. Her words bothered him though, her husband had insulted not only her figure but also her color; the man was of the same color if he remembered correctly. Not that it meant he couldn't prefer white girls but there was no reason to insult the woman he married in such a way; he liked her color.

Several shades different from him she had a smooth chocolate complexion, only a shade lighter than her eyes. He couldn't think of an easy way to show her he appreciated it other than to take her out with him; he had the whole weekend to show her off.

Letting her hips drop he slipped the button on her jeans and pushed them down her hips. She wiggled to help him but he knocked her back on the bed, hearing her sigh; digging out a shirt for her to sleep in. Returning to the bed she had her jeans to her ankles, tossing the shirt to her he caught her ankles and pulled her jeans free before stripping himself.

He stretched out beside her and leaned in, kissing her cheek; he saw the slight smile. Wrapping an arm around her he nuzzled her neck. "I think I like having someone in my bed, I don't think I'm going to let you go."

"I'll stay right here." She squirmed in his arms, rolling over she settled back against him; he liked spooning her.

They slept comfortably, she moved in her sleep he realized; it was an odd fact but he didn't mind. She never went far enough to slide his hand from her hip, and usually curled back so it slid to her lower belly; it was cute.

He woke early, she was still sleeping and he took the time to enjoy looking at her. Her spiral curls fell loosely around her face; he brushed them back and tucked them behind her ear. Pressing her hair to the pillow he nuzzled down her neck; he liked her hair curly he decided. Though she always looked sleek when she straightened it, it was much more natural and easy when it was curling and free around her face.

He heard her groan and felt her back arch. "Good morning."

"Morning." She rolled her smile warm as her body melded against his; he dropped to her cheek for a kiss.

Melinda turned and his lips pressed to hers, she savored the pressure, her hands coming up to his neck; his hands gripped her hips. His tongue slid into her mouth, hers battled his; exploring each other. He fit perfectly against her and she felt his erection pressing against her.

Sliding one hand down her gripped him and stroked firmly; hearing his groan. She eased herself back, paying some attention to him; rolling him onto his back. He pulled on her, trying to lift her hand; she knew he liked it and didn't like that he tried to deny himself.

"Later Mel." He nibbled her jaw. "Later."

"I think I owe you one." She wasn't so easily put off.

"Mhm, I promise later; let's get up." He caught her hand, and pulled it away; she glared at him playfully.

"Fine but later I will." She kissed his cheek and pulled herself up, one of his hands trailed up her side. She sat up and found herself pulled back against him.

"Want a shower?" He held her captive, his arms linked around her middle.

"Sure, but I want to get clothes from home this morning." Melinda turned to look at him, he wouldn't let her pleasure him but he did want to share a shower.

"Alright." He was pulling her back with him and she grinned as he scooped her up.

Two minutes later she stood under the hot flow, his hands worked through her hair as hers ran over his chest. His lips pressed to hers once again and they stood locked in an intimate embrace. Slowly he pulled away and began to wash her, her body sung under his hands, she was happy to get some lather moving over him.

They stopped for coffee on the way to her house, he watched the route; it was a quiet neighborhood. Walking into the entryway he looked around, looking at the bits of her life he hadn't seen before. Photos of Melinda and her daughter were displayed with pride.

He paused to look at them as she moved through the house; Kaylen looked a lot like her mother and was very clearly Melinda's joy. The girl was the same color as her mother but her hair was lighter; the same tight curls hung very long down her back in every picture. The same easy smile and bright eyes; they were both beautiful and happy.

He followed her back into the kitchen in time to see a golden blur escape from the back door and do a fast circle of her knees before sitting down and leaning in for an ear rub. He hadn't known she had a dog.

"This is Springer, she's my baby." Melinda crouched down, one arm wrapped around the dog, the other rubbing an ear; he offered his hand.

"How old is she?"

" Four, I got her from the shelter not long after I got the house, she used to be pretty shy but once she learned I'd let her have run of the house she took her place. I had the back porch renovated so she can get into the yard whenever she likes; if I'm home I let her in to stay with me." The dog licked his hand but was not about to leave her owner.

"It's good to have company, want to bring her today?" He had lay awake for a while last night, it had been a long time since he planned a date; and he wanted it to be special.

She smiled and nodded, the dog seemed to sense that it was being included in something and wagged her tail faster. Melinda stood and started for the stairs, he followed but was quickly cut off by the dog who pushed by him and then her owner.

Melinda slipped into the bedroom at the end of the hall, the first door was closed and decorated; her daughter's. There was a bathroom between the two rooms; he shadowed her in. She pulled off her t shirt, followed by her bra; he stood to her back and watched; enjoying the supple curves of her.

The jeans followed quickly and she walked naked to the closet, pulling things from the organizer she tossed her clothes on the bed and started dressing. He watched her slip into the jeans with a neat little wiggle of her ass. As she fitted her bra he stepped closer, catching the loose ends he held them; she glanced back surprised.

She positioned herself and he clasped it, stepping back he let her pull a t shirt over it. She was casual but looked nice, different from how she dressed at the office; it was comfortable. "You look good."

"Thanks." She smiled, turning to face him; he followed her down the stairs again. She pocketed some treats and grabbed the leash; doing a once over before they left.

It had been nice when he got her bra; it was a simple thing that made her feel as if they had been together forever; something she had hoped for years ago in marriage. Even riding in the car with the dog in the back, Springer stuck her head between the seats to lick his cheek and he reached back to scratch her ear; it was so comfortable.

They parked a few blocks outside of central park, she hooked Springer on the leash and wrapped it tightly around her hand; the dog was friendly but would pull. Fin walked close beside her as they entered the park, Springer bounding ahead of them; the leash stretched out between them.

For a while he just stayed close, they stopped to watch some street artists and dancers before continuing; Springer settling down a little. She was relaxing when she felt a hand slid into her back pocket; instinctively she pulled away.

And then realized it was Fin she smiled weakly and stepped back close to him. His arm came around her and settled on her hip. "Sorry."

"You have fast reflexes." He wasn't bothered she realized, more amused. This time as his hand slipped lower she didn't pull away. It was a nice possession as they moved through the crowd, she looked at other couples and didn't wonder what they had; she felt it herself.

His hand tucked in her back pocket, his hip occasionally brushing hers as they walked close; sometimes he tipped his head to talk to her. When they stood to listen to a musician she leaned her cheek against his shoulder; it was just really nice.

She knew it was also fast but this time it was fast because their friendship was solid; they had been colleagues for years. He wasn't a stranger she needed to feel out, he was an ex narcotics cop who had seen the worst and transferred to SVU to see even worse. He pretended to be a tough guy and for too many that was all they saw but she knew he was a kind man; gentle under the rough exterior.

Now she knew that rough exterior ran deep for a reason, it was a scar of life; fighting to succeed and provide. She also knew that today he had turned the job off, his hand in her pocket or on her side she noticed when he deliberately looked away; it made her look. Twice she had seen the hand off and realized he had noticed much earlier; but today he didn't want to see.

"Want to get some lunch?" He tipped his head down, it was a private moment; something she had envied for years. A few words just for her, however general they may have been.

She nodded, they wandered to find a cart and he went up to get the food; she stayed at a distance so Springer didn't attack in hopes of a treat. He came back and they found a bench, she put a foot on the leash and they split the food, she smiled he'd gotten a hot dog for Springer.

They ate quietly, giving the dog bites often enough to keep her out of their laps. When she stood and wound the leash around her hand again he tugged it. Slipping the loop over his wrist he took her hand. They walked towards the monuments, passing a playground where they had to stop.

Springer found some fans and she knelt to keep the dog in line Fin stepped protectively behind her. The kids scratched the lab's ears and belly; laughing as her legs flailed in the air. He kept a hand just above her shoulder as she kept one on the dog.

Slipping a hand through her belt loop to keep her pants from sliding as she stood she realized it was pointless. He stood so he would have the only view, but as they moved on he took her hand again; they fell into stride together. As if they always had been.

It was late in the afternoon by the time they left the park, Springer flopped into the back seat exhausted and Melinda slipped into the front. He was fairly sure the dog would pass out on the way back; not sure about the woman.

But it had been a really good day, he had enjoyed it; mostly being close to her. Yet he had learned about her to, she enjoyed the arts, watching the musicians and dancers her eyes had come alive. But most of all was watching her when the kids came to pet Springer.

She hadn't hesitated, she may love her dog but when little hands got close she knelt to keep her pet in check. She'd let them play with the dog but he knew the animal recognized she wasn't down with her to play. Melinda was good with kids; it was fluid and natural; even when she didn't know them.

Her eyes had watched them come, noting directions and parents; she had gotten to their level and kept the animal in check. When they turned to leave she watched them go, he knew she had seen each connect with an adult just as he had. It was instinctive, she had a child who had once been that age and that age was vulnerable; they were both too aware of how dangerous the world could be.

"Do you want to pick up something for supper?" He asked, letting a hand drop from the wheel; she took it and held it on her leg.

"Sure, or I can cook, we could spend the night at my place." She glanced over, and he smiled; glad that she wanted to be together for the evening.

"That'd be nice, but let's get something out; have a lazy night." He didn't want to put her out, though he had no doubt she could cook.

"I'd like to cook for you, but if you want we can throw a pizza in." She squeezed his hand and he smiled.

"Alright."

Once they were home it did take a bit to get Springer settled again; the dog had rested and was hyper again. After the back door was closed and the dog free in the yard they took a moment. He caught her wrists and pulled her close, she fit against him easily.

"Pizza?" She rested her chin against his chest, looking up at him.

"Sure, can I help with anything?" He let her go, watching as she moved through her kitchen, she pulled her hair up in elastic.

"No. Just relax, I'll throw the pizza in and we can find something on TV." She moved fluidly through her space, he watched simply enjoying her. The pizza in she tugged him into the living room; they flipped channels for a while until settling on an old style murder mystery.

She leaned against him, they sat close on the couch and his arm fit smoothly around her. They caught the end of it before switching; he flipped channels again while she got the pizza out. He had settled on a CSI episode by the time she returned with the pizza on a plate and two beers.

The episode they chose he learned was centered on a strip club, he just shook his head; reaching for the remote. Melinda caught it tucking it under her leg as she took another bite of pizza; she grinned at him.

"C'mon we can find something else." He took a bite of pizza, already knowing that she wasn't going to give in.

"Don't worry there is a case going too, and you aren't sitting in the middle of it." She squeezed his knee and he knew she was enjoying this.

"Fine, I may just need to harass you a bit." He finished the piece he had and slid a hand up her thigh.

She grinned and angled her hips, his hand slid between her thighs as she nibbled her pizza. Turning his hand he pressed against her core, if he had to relive a miserable case he could at least enjoy her.

As they finished the pizza he sipped his beer, one hand held the brew and the other cupped her. She leaned into him and nuzzled against his neck. Finishing his beer he wrapped the other arm around her; one eye on the show.

"Maybe you should dance for me?" He smiled as she turned sharply.

"No." A part of her wanted to though, he had a sly smile on his face; as if he already knew she might.

"C'mon, I'll turn the music up; you can strip." He moved his hand against her.

"No." Melinda smiled even as his hand touched her through the jeans; it could be fun. But as the screen flashed back to the club and women gyrated above men; she didn't have the body for that.

"You sure?" His hand slid down her thigh and back up, it might be fun, but not with everything off.

"Fine, but I'm not stripping." Pushing up from the couch she saw him straighten, the music blared and she blushed.

Stepping wide over his knees she pushed her ass back and mimicked the dancers on screen; his hands came instinctively to her hips. "Hey, no touching the dancer."

"Not touching the dancer, touching my girlfriend." Her heart fluttered, she liked how that sounded and let him guide her hips. "Turn."

She spun and he pulled her into his lap; she ground herself against his lap. His hands moved up from her hips to cup her cheeks; she leaned in to his kiss eagerly. Her hips rocked against him even as her tongue slid into his mouth.

Now though was her chance to pleasure him, his hands were occupied and hers free; she slid one down to his belt. She had every intention of keeping him around and it was his turn to be pleasured. She had her hand in his jeans before he even realized.

Easing back off his lap she coaxed his knees open and hips up; stripping away his jeans and boxers. He was impressive, he hung heavily in her hand; already hard. Stroking up and down she looked up into his eyes, the fire that burned there.

Melinda stroked him slowly, leaning in; oral sex was not something she had much experience in. But right now it didn't matter. She watched his eyes, his hands slid over her shoulders and his hips arched to her; his eyes told her what he liked.

Running her hand down to the base she lowered her lips to the tip, her tongue teasing a little; he groaned deeply. It was awkward at first but as she took him into her throat working her hand the length between her mouth and the base she slid him as deep as she could.

She felt his hands slide into her hair and she let him guide her pace; feeling how he got close. His hands fisted her hair and she let him pull her close, deep into her throat and he pulsed; she slid one hand to cup his balls.

He groaned, she smiled against him a rush of satisfaction quickly followed by the first hot rope of his release hit the back of her throat. He pumped into her throat and she choked hard when he slid free his hands running through her hair.

"So good Mel." He was both relaxed and energized; his body felt so good. Looking down at her, his hands in her hair and a drip of cum on her lips; there had never been a more erotic sight. Still as he watched her he saw her throat shift, she swallowed once and then again; nothing hotter.

Her tongue swiped the last drop off her lip; he pulled her up; into his lap. Pressing his lips to hers he tasted himself on her; in her. She pressed against him eagerly, he slid his arms around her; crushing her supple body.

Hours later they had fooled around before settling to sleep, she pressed back against him, his hand cradling her toned belly. He had nuzzled her into neck to sleep, she was silky soft and warm; he never wanted to lay in bed alone again. Though he had no doubt Springer was angry about having her spot taken.

It was barely morning when an angry beeping pulls from the comfort of sleep; he knew it all too well. She stirred even as he cursed; this was his weekend off; there were two rookies on call. "It's okay babe, it's me."

He snarled into the phone, took the address and fought with his clothes. Leaning over the bed he realized a problem, he had driven her car yesterday; it had just seemed comfortable. Now he needed a vehicle, he wasn't sure how she would feel about him taking it now. "Mel, I got a call out, they can't get a hold of our on calls."

"Keys are by my purse." She mumbled turning towards the spot he left, he paused long enough to watch the pillow he had slept on be hugged to her.

Moving through the house as quietly as possible, he scooped the keys and checked to see if there was one to the house on it; then locked the door behind him. In the car he put a call into the squad room to see if night shift could harass the rookies and get him back to bed before it was sunrise.

Two thirty call outs always sucked, even when you were on call but when it was a weekend off it was worse; especially when it was turning to be a he said- she said. What he found interesting was that Olivia was with him, she was off today; she'd done on call all week.

Neither rookie was on scene and neither detective was thrilled about doing battle with two people who hated each other and no matter how many times they were separated wanted to get in each other's faces. He wasn't sure what the case was but he had to work it.

Both went to the hospital for examinations and he sent Olivia to deal with them while he got an update from CSU. It was seven by the time he got relieved, Rollins and Amaro took over the case and he bailed as quickly as he could.

Walking out with Olivia he headed for the car he debated stopping to pick up some breakfast. "Your chipper?"

"I'm getting my ass out of here. I'm back tomorrow and I don't need to be here till tomorrow morning."

"Mhm, you had plans this weekend."

"Getting out of bed at two was not in them. I'll see you Monday Liv." He ducked her, feeling her eyes watching his back, he knew she would figure it out soon enough; but his relationship was new enough he wanted to keep it out of the squad.

He stopped for danishes and coffee at a bakery on the way and let himself back into the house; he heard Springer in the porch but there was no sign of Melinda yet. Taking the stairs quietly he hoped she was still in bed.

She was still curled around the pillow he had slept on, the light was beginning to creep through the curtains but he didn't care as he stripped down and crawled in next to her, pulling the pillow away. She moaned softly reaching for it; he guided her arms around him and folded her against him.

He kissed the top of her head, she squirmed against him. "Hey babe."

"Is it morning?"

"Yea, it is." He smiled as she arched away, stretching as she started to wake. "Doesn't mean we have to get up."

"We should. You catch a case?"

"Passed, it's handled." He did not want to think about it right now.

"Good, want a shower?" He needed no more encouragement to scoop her up.


	4. Chapter 4

Days flowed by and quickly turned into two weeks, between work and spending time with her he was more content than he could remember. He had more or less moved in to Melinda's house, it was fast but good. They completely skipped the first phase of dating and moved on to living together.

He made a point of taking her out, they went to concerts in the park and dinner or movies but just as often spent the night at home; comfortable with each other. As far as he knew no one at work knew they were together yet though he had a feeling both Munch and Olivia knew he was with someone.

Still they hadn't discussed whether or not to share it with people at work. He knew she had told Kaylen, though he had yet to meet her; she was in the middle of midterms. Melinda was expecting her home for mid semester break and he would meet her; so far he Melinda hadn't given him the girl's opinion of her mother dating.

Now though he was waiting for her to get home, she never made a big deal when he got called away in the night but he was always glad when he could get away early on those days. She'd given him a key, he hadn't reciprocated as they spent next to no time at his place; most of his clothes hung beside hers.

He knew leaving early got him home about the same time as her; she had the early shift this week. Stopping for Mexican on the way home he hoped they could have a quiet night in; and she would relax. Her last case had been miserable, it hadn't been and SVU but it was brutal.

She needed to unwind and let him in, she always asked about his day but neither went to deep into what happened. Sometimes though he felt she needed to talk it out, Melinda was just used to keeping it all to herself.

Even though she worked with people she worked mostly alone and kept a good handle on her emotions. He worked with a squad and knew he could turn to any of them to vent; they all did. He wanted her to accept him as an outlet, even if it meant tempting her into it.

By the time the door opened he had the table set and wine poured, he heard her head straight up the stairs; he followed with a smile. Stepping into the bedroom he watched her pull the scrub up and realized she really had had a long day.

He stepped in and rubbed up her body pulling the shirt off, followed by the sport top and bra; he pulled her robe around her. Then slid down the rest of her clothes turning her around he guided her to the bed and set her free.

She opened her mouth and he pressed a finger to it. "Food and a hot bath; that's all you need tonight. We don't work tomorrow and you don't need to move until noon tomorrow; you need rest."

He was glad to have weekends off; it was one of the nice things of having some seniority in the squad and two rookies. Unless something bad came in they got their days off, they got called in at all hours when they were on call but when off they usually stayed off; he'd done his on call last weekend.

She sighed and he knew he had won, guiding her down the stairs, they ate on the couch and he smiled. It was good to see her eat, and he knew she liked Mexican; he reached over to catch a drip of sauce that slipped from her lip.

Now he was relieved to know her stomach was full and half his goal was complete. Picking her up he handed her the wine she'd barely touché d and carried her up to the tub, setting it to fill with hot water he sniffed at a couple of her soaps; why women needed multiple kinds was beyond him.

She laughed a little when he chose a bubble bath, he was such as tough guy at work but as soon as they clocked out he shifted; at home he was so gentle with her. Sometimes he pushed but he also seemed to sense the things needed to be left alone; though steadily she trusted him more and more.

She happily reached up to him as they waited for the tub to fill, his kiss was tender and sweet; all she needed. More and more her body protested the days spent on nonstop posts, her body hadn't healed well. It took time and patience to do a good post and while the deceased didn't care she worked hard to keep her hands steady in her work; it was only respectful.

But it knotted her shoulders and back being hunched over to work long days, they were short staffed in the morgue, there were currently only two medical examiners that could work alone; and the other was part time.

They needed to hire another, they were looking but as far as she knew management had found no one suitable. It had been months, she had come back from medical leave earlier than she should have to try and help in the interim; but it had never got straightened out.

Fin lifted her into the water and she groaned as hot water surrounded her, he handed her the glass of wine; she took a sip. He sat on the edge beside her and she watched him, he filled a cloth with water and she felt it trail down her back. She smiled at him, reaching up to touch her lips to his again.

"Thank you."

"You've had a long week, and a lot of bodies." He rested his chin against the top of her head; she was comfortable.

"I don't even want to think about it, I hate multiples and it never gets easier; we're supposed to have two on days. The interns and assistants can only do so much." She growled, an took another sip of wine.

"I know baby, and every post falls to you."

"I've thought about switching to nights but Righes won't want to trade; and he's sloppy."

" It's been a bad week and while it's a problem it won't be solved soon, you aren't alone anymore. Let me help hon, your shoulders are so knotted and you see it all every day; you know exactly what happens to everyone who crosses your table." He took her hand in his.

"I know, I'm just not used to it." She smiled as he reached down to get a sip of the wine.

"I know Mel I just want you to feel safe to talk and vent." He stroked her cheek.

"I do, but I like to try and leave it at work; I just have to drag my body home."

"Mel I love your body and you can let me take care of it; I have no problem with giving you a shoulder rub." He ran his thumb over her chin and she smiled; he was so sweet.

"Join me?" She smiled as he stared at her for a moment, and then stepped back and began to strip.

She liked watching him reveal his body; he was well built, only a few inches taller than her, he was solidly built and strong. She scooted forward in the tub and he slipped in beside her, letting him guide her back to rest against his chest.

His hands came to her front, she loved having him touch her, running his hands over her breasts; but he seemed to like it too. She felt the tension building inside her at the slightest taunt and was a little disappointed that he slid his hands down farther.

She loved touching him as much as she enjoyed his touch; yet he was still hesitant in some situations. He did sweet things all the time but when it came to intimacy it was still hard for him, he was afraid to hurt her. He was so good to her but it was frustrating he could play her body as he wanted and yet control himself.

They had settled quickly into a comfortable rhythm in life supporting each other and relaxing together. When they were together it was good but a piece was still missing she had given hers to a man she loathed and in her mind his had been stolen.

She needed to push herself, and him; she wanted to get past it. Pulling away she stood and reached for a towel. She was going to have him tonight, all of him over and over; and tomorrow she wouldn't be able to walk.

She had always liked the idea of that sweet ache romance novels hinted to, until the morning after being with him she had never known it; but completely agreed that it was good.

"Baby." He stood and gently pulled her back to him, taking the towel.

"Come to bed, we don't have to get up tomorrow." She handed him another towel as she stepped clear.

"I'm right behind you." Fin watched her leave and paused he'd checked out her stash of smelly stuff earlier, he'd had to read most of it but had found a massage oil.

Taking it and pulling on his boxers he did follow she lay naked on the bed and he grinned. "Roll Mel."

She glanced back at him and then rolled over, with a smile he settled himself over the tops of her thighs; warning her before he let his weight onto her. Popping the cap he drizzled the oil up her back and watched it pool in the small of her back.

He set it on the side table and smoothed his hands through the oil, up her shoulders. She groaned under him and he grinned, setting to work on her shoulders he rubbed the tension and knots out of her working his way slowly down her back.

"That feels so good." She moaned under him, sliding his hands up and down her back.

"You're too tense Mel." He leaned down to kiss her shoulder blade.

"Not anymore." She squirmed underneath him and he lifted enough for her to roll. "Maybe you should do my front."

"I like that idea." He grinned at her and rubbed his hands over her sides to get rid of the last of the oil.

She liked to be touched but while he liked touching her licking her was even better; she tasted uniquely sweet and musky. Happily he lost himself in her flesh rubbing her with his hands while he suckled her breasts.

Nipples hardened into nubs but she reacted so much when he suckled lightly he didn't pull harder. Though when he paused to tug one pebbled bud between his teeth he was rewarded with her hips bucking under his. Moving his mouth up to her collar bone he paused there was nothing he wanted more than to leave his mark on her.

Rolling the flesh between his teeth he sucked hard, feeling her hands come to his neck. He felt his own need surging, and wanted to take her over; it was so satisfying to send her over. Releasing the flesh he waited seeing the redness and he knew there would be a mark there come morning; she was his.

Kissing his way down her toned belly he paused over the scar, while she didn't like when he stopped over it he liked to remember; he may have never known this had something been different. Yet he continued , lifting her hips a little.

She fell open to him, her thighs parted and he eyed the moisture already seeping out of her; he was going to savor her. Dropping to her lips he parted her with his tongue registering the whimper. He lapped her from entrance to clit, and then settled back to lick all the moisture from her; sliding his tongue in and out quickly.

Freeing one hand he slid a finger into her, reveling in how tight and wet she was; perfect. Teasing her clit he pumped her, feeling the tension run through her, hearing her squeak; knowing she was close. He tugged her gently and felt her go up.

Her body sung and crashed, he didn't relent and Melinda sighed. Her hips rose and fell against his fingers; it felt so good. She growled as he lapped her release up, sliding his tongue inside her as if to get it all; when all it really did was make her wetter.

"Fin please, I'm so ready." She whimpered needing him to stop, needing him within her; his fingers were nowhere near enough when she knew what he felt like.

"I'm not done with you baby." He spoke against her clit, making her buck harder; she needed him within her; it was the most frustrating pleasure. "So not done."

"Please, I want you so bad." She whimpered and it did nothing but she saw him sit back.

And did not get what she wanted, his fingers pulled her open, her core and clit fully exposed; she felt his warm breath flow over her. His tongue tickled the underside of her clit, it was sweet torture and she screamed.

His mouth slid lower and he pulled at her, pushing his finger in and curling against her; she felt herself going up again. "Fin."

"C'mon baby, I want to taste more of you. Cum for me." She looked down in time for him to pull her farther open using both hands; she finished the statement with a growl.

Every part of her soared as he slid his mouth over her, into her before his mouth cupped her opening and sucked hard; her body crashed again. Her hips arched off the bed, into him and she felt her back raise; his hands sliding under her.

His tongue lapped but his lips never released her; he drank her release. She crashed back as he let her go, his hands journeying up, sliding underneath along her spine. His erection came to rest against her, exactly what she needed; she lifted her legs to welcome his hips into hers.

"Mel." His lips brushed her cheek and then his cheek rested against hers; he eased the tip into her.

Her name, it was so good and she was more than ready; or she was until he pumped himself into her. Filling her, he kept going she was stretched wide; there was the twinge of tension as every part of her opened to him.

His hips pressed to hers he rested a moment, she felt her body open around him; needing him to move. This time there was no pain, her body was beyond good and he slid in and out of her slickly. Her chest heaved as he moved; she sought his lips.

Her hands pressed to his shoulders as his did to hers, he savored her lips; there was nothing more perfect in the world. He had brought her over twice already and he slid in, her muscles clenching him; she was so tight.

So tight, stroking in and out he felt himself coming close and now he had no reason to hold back. Sliding his hands down to her hips, stilling hers even as she tried to move against him; he held deep inside of her. Then stroked again, entering roughly he felt her tighten and it sent him over; his hands dropped as did her hips.

He dove after her keeping his body deep in hers as release shot through him; he felt her clench tighter. She was there to he realized her muscles gripped him, milking him as she flowed around him; so good.

It felt so good, to be in her and with her; he didn't think about his words he just spoke. "I love you Melinda."

The moment he realized what he said he felt her tense underneath him. Lifting his head back he looked into her eyes and saw pure fear that was quickly masked by a question. "Do you mean that?"

"Yes." He spoke with more confidence, he still hadn't pulled away from her; he never would. "Yes, I do, I mean that Mel; I love you so much. I know that it is fast but I also know it."

He started to roll away, he'd screwed up; she wasn't ready to hear that. The last man that said that had stolen seventeen years and then some as she healed; he should have waited and proved it. But her arms locked around his back.

"Please stay, stay right here. I'm sorry, I 'm so bad at this. I love you too. I really do, but I can't help…"

He cut her off, pressing his lips to hers; she had said all he needed to hear; all he ever needed. "Mel we both still have a lot to learn, it's more than enough right now; we'll grow together. I'm never going to leave you."


	5. Chapter 5

Melinda was nervous, life had changed so much in the last month, Fin had moved in electing not to renew the lease on his apartment. His things mixed with hers now in the house and her daughter was coming home she would notice the changes.

To her they were simple and nice, a photo of his son hung alongside one of Kaylen, they had moved her couch to the basement and his took the living room; their thing shared space in the closet and drawers.

They may have only dated a month but they worked and played well together. Even now he was out with Springer, trying to take the edge of the dog's energy and keep her out from under foot. She stayed home to wait for Kaylen, wanting to talk to her daughter alone about the changes for a moment; she knew her daughter didn't favor her choice in men.

But then her track record was bad, and while short in number long in years. She wanted the girl's support but she wanted Fin almost as much; if they didn't see eye to eye she hoped they'd at least work it out.

She saw the girl's car pull up; she eyed it silently; waiting for her daughter to get out. Her little girl had grown into a beautiful young woman, she was still struggling to find a balance between interfering and letting Kaylen know she cared.

As the girl stepped onto the porch she had to bite her tongue, the door opened and Kaylen stepped into her arms. "Hey Kay, it's good to see you."

"Mom, ahh it's good to be home; I'm so ready to be done with school." Her daughter groaned, Melinda pulled her tightly into a hug and held her, before pushing her back to look at the damage. "You cut you hair so short honey."

"I like it, it's so flippy now." Her daughter grinned tossing her hair around and she noticed another set of holes in her ears.

Silently she caught the upper set of studs, how much her child could change in two months at school. "Don't even, you pierced my ears the first time, I wanted the second; I still haven't done by belly."

"I didn't say a word." She laughed as her daughter pulled away glancing to the wall.

"Who's that?"

She nodded to the picture of Ken next to her graduation shot. "That's Ken, Fin's son."

"You two are serious then?" She met her daughters gaze and nodded. "I'll live with it unless he's a jerk; then I'm raising hell."

At least Kaylen's attitude never changed. "Fin is a good guy; I really want you to be nice to him. I love him Kay and I don't want to choose between the two of you."

"How long have you two been together?" Kaylen followed her through to the kitchen and perched up on the counter.

"We've been dating a month." She paused, checking the chicken in the oven, sensed her daughter starting to speak; she shot her a hard look. "We've known each other for almost twelve; been friends for at least ten. I won't lie it has been fast but it's really good."

"And there would be a choice between him and me?" The girl gave her a grin and Melinda just rolled her eyes.

"I don't want to make it Kay, play nice."

"You mean not how I play with dad." She glanced over sharply, Kay wasn't grinning anymore. "He showed up at school, he's upset that I won't return his calls."

"He is your father Kaylen and he loves you; he has always loved you."

"He's a bastard and we both agree on it and I told him so. How can he love me and not you? Your half of me, he had a part in making me with you. I told him I think he's slime and not to come near me again. I don't want to deal with him, especially not now that I'm kinda a seeing someone." Melinda dropped the spoon she had been holding at her daughter's words.

"You're seeing someone?"

"It's not serious enough for you to meet him yet." Kaylen blushed a little. "Now don't get all mad if I do bring him home and we've been dating a while; I'll hold the guy you let move in after a month over your head."

"Alright, will you set the table?" She needed the counter space, and a moment; so she didn't stick her nose in too far.

Kaylen set to work silently, her girl was used to household chores. Some of the tension had eased in Kaylen's easy attitude. She heard Fin come in and Springer bounded into the kitchen; he followed. Immediately she knew they were sizing each other up, she wasn't sure whether or not to turn her back on them.

Supper was comfortable, conversation flowed easily as Melinda tried to catch up with her daughter and the girl tried to quiz him. He didn't mind, Kaylen was interesting, nothing was lost on her; he knew she was protective of her mother and he didn't blame her. Still after they ate Melinda banished both of them while she did dishes, he followed Kaylen to the living room.

"Do you love my mom?" Kaylen squared off opposite him.

"I do, and I'm not playing with her."

"You hurt her and I'll find a way to ruin your life." While her tone was dead serious he tried not to smile; he was glad she cared enough to stand up to him.

"Fair enough, your father comes around I'll feed him his balls; whether you like him or not. I hate what he did to her and took from her, not entirely impressed with what I've heard of how you handled it either."

"Well I don't have balls you can feed me but I agree with you; I screwed it because I was mad. But I made it right." Her shoulders hunched a bit and he knew she meant it; that was all he needed to know.

"Understood." She nodded, and flopped into a chair, he took one end of the couch and when Melinda came in she folded herself against him; her hand on his knee.

The rest of the evening was relaxed, Kaylen drove out to her friend's place where she was spending the week and promised to call when she got there. He dragged Melinda back to the couch once they saw her out.

"Good night?"

"Yes, it was good to see her, she changes herself so much every time but she's grown up too. I don't think she is going to come home to live this summer, I think she'll get her internship; if she puts her mind to it that is." Melinda relaxed into him as she spoke, he cuddled her close.

"She will don't worry about it."

"I know but I miss having her around sometimes, she's going to be looking for her own place."

"But she'll come home sometimes, trust me. You have a good bond with her."

"She drives me up the wall sometimes." Melinda laughed, a true smile splitting her face. "Maybe we can have Ken over for dinner some time."

"Maybe, I don't know if he'd want to come." He wasn't sure his son would care about meeting his girlfriend, they didn't have the closeness Melinda and her daughter did.

"We can ask. Go to bed?" She asked, stretching back against him.

"Sure." He scooped her up and headed for the stairs.

"You do know I can walk." She replied dryly.

"Mhm." But he liked carrying her, and she hardly weighed anything, curled against him she wrapped one arm around his neck and he let her down against him.

"I can also undress myself."

"You could but it is so much better when I do it." He rubbed her shoulders a couple times before stripping off her clothes.

She slipped away and he let her do her bathroom routine while he changed, she came back to bed a few minutes later in one of his old shirts that she'd claimed as hers. And as she curled under the covers he knew he had no problem with it.

Pulling her back against him, dropping a kiss to the back of her neck he settled to sleep. Morning came far too fast, he reached back to smack at the alarm; they both had work. He claimed the shower first while she tried to wake up.

They got ready quickly and headed downstairs, she had to get to the morgue and he had to go to the precinct. On the way out he paused to get her car door and kiss her cheek. "I'll see you tonight if not before."

"Alright." She slipped into the car and pulled out, watching him get in the car; she hoped to see him through the day. All of the SVU squad cared, and all the cases they caught got attention; some detectives she dealt with couldn't be bothered.

It was a dull day; she did post after post, working hard to keep her focus on her work. It was too easy to tune out and that was lazy, by noon she was caught up from the weekend and luckily had only a few routine posts to do; not full work ups.

She took her lunch break in the office to work on the paperwork, she had four reports to go to SVU; for Benson and Amaro but Fin might be around. Once the paperwork was done she went back and finished her posts, setting the interns up to clean out the work bay; caught up for once.

Gathering the reports she could drop off she headed over to the precinct. Stepping onto the main floor her eyes did an easy scan of the room, Olivia and Rollins were at their desks. Then she paused, Fin was pacing the floor and over the hub of the room she heard the quiet fussing; he was walking a baby.

She studied him; his big hands cradled the tiny body gently, holding it close to his own. She smiled a little, the kid was not happy and he was concerned; it showed in his eyes. He cared, he probably didn't even know the kid but he cared about it.

Glancing back she caught Olivia heading towards her. "Reports on the Anderson case, trace is with CSU."

"Thanks, you don't have a few minutes by any chance? " Olivia was guiding her back towards the interview rooms.

She rounded on Cragen and the ADA, who both turned to look at them. "Melinda could tell us if he is right, then we have reason to hold her whether she rolls or not."

"It could work, at least give us a heads up, at least stress her specifically." The ADA spoke.

"Try it, we need something." This came from the Captain, Olivia nodded and she was pushed back; the interview continued in the room beyond the glass.

"She's girlfriend of our suspect, got her on holding but there is no record of the child she claims is hers. Kid has been fussing nonstop; Fin's trying to calm it. Could you tell us what it might be?" Olivia spoke calmly, as they approached Fin.

She nodded, Fin stopped before them and she got a good look at the little human he held. "I don't know how much I can tell you but I'll try."

Reaching out she lifted the little girl carefully into her arms, laying the baby along the curve of her arm. Fin's hands rubbed against her skin, waiting until he was sure she had her. "She's jonesing for something."

She nodded again, he was right; then he'd probably seen it a few times before. Gripping the child's upper arm she counted off a pulse, pulled off socks and looked at little feet; at least no one had pumped anything into the child. She'd seen that before and it was in her mind evil.

"Pupils are blown, tachy pulse and breathing. Borderline weight, I can't tell exactly without putting her on a scale but I'd put her at eight months physically but underweight and developmentally delayed; most kids this age would coo and babble in baby talk. Scream when upset, again likely in babble." She paused; feeling the fontanels on the child's head, aging an infant was difficult.

"My only concern is she is just whimpering, infants with addictions often scream; it is a unique sound." She had heard too often on her rotation in the hospital. Yet the whimpers were weak, she may have screamed herself out already. "She needs to be seen by a pediatrician."

Fin nodded, he'd thought as much, but he'd waited for the screams too; there was nothing like them. It was chilling and while he hated hearing it, he knew where he was going; and any adults he found near the child he had no concern of accidentally knocking them off a few things.

Yet seeing Melinda hold that baby was precious, she rocked the child, and he didn't think she even realized she did it as she examined her. The child had quieted a little in her arms, but she held her naturally close to her; the child knew she was safe there. "Can you bluff a little bit? We'll send the kid in and contact CAS but it'd help if she'd crack to it."

"Sure." Melinda nodded, not looking up from the child, and he watched as the baby grabbed at her, as if realizing she could get a meal. He watched in amazement as the baby nuzzled her breast, a tiny mouth opened and sucked against the fabric of her top; little one was hungry.

Probably hooked through breast milk, it was the most common way and now the child was jonsing and associated it with a meal. Still seeing her hold the little one sent a pang through his heart. She didn't stop the little mouth sucking at her shirt, the baby wasn't getting anything but the motion was comforting it.

He stood with her while Olivia went to talk to Cragen, she held the child while they waited for CAS. "Poor little thing."

She smiled at his comment. "It's likely she was born addicted at home and has been fed something constantly in her mother's milk since birth; it's going to be hard for her."

"She'll have a chance now." He spoke as he watched the baby curl a little palm around Melinda's finger. "That's something."

"I hate people who do this to children." He heard it in her tone, a few moments later they turned the little girl over to paramedics, CAS would join up with her at the hospital.

Melinda sighed and he watched her rub at the wet spot on her top, he grabbed the corner of her jacket and pulled it over to cover it a bit.

Benson came back with the Captain and Melinda was roped into interview; he stood with everyone else behind the window as she went in. Melinda rounded the table and he saw the jacket shift again, the woman's eyes narrowed at the younger one; he just nodded as Melinda sat across from her.

"Who are you?"

"Dr Warner, I work for the medical examiner's office. I saw your daughter." Melinda's tone was deadly, yet he had a feeling no one else realized it; they didn't know her well enough to.

"Amy is fine. Where is she? Why were you looking at her? I want my kid." The young woman reached towards Melinda and he felt himself stiffen; she was a junkie and he knew as well as anyone completely unpredictable.

"No, she isn't I looked at her because the detectives were concerned. She is addicted to something and so are you; both of you want a fix. She's been getting hers from you."

"No, no she hasn't. She isn't, I'm not taking anything and I'd never give anything to my baby." Melinda let the woman take her hand, whether there was sympathy behind the mask ink her eyes or not he wasn't sure; he didn't like it.

"She is, and so are you; you've already got the shakes. You could have killed your child. She gets it through your breast milk and she associates eating with getting her fix; it's what she wants now. We sent her to the hospital to get some help; clearly you aren't giving her any."

"I didn't hurt my baby. I won't hurt my baby; you bitch." The woman lunged at the table and he flinched turning towards the door. "My baby."

"Sit down." Melinda's tone was sharp and he glanced back; she still had it under control; the younger woman had dropped back into her chair. "You want to help your baby; you tell me what you're taking."

"Nothing, I'm not taking anything." The woman's head was shaking back and forth. "Why do you care? All they want to know is about Eric, can't I tell you about Eric?

"I don't care about your boyfriend; I care about your child. You are hooked, did he hook you?" Melinda stood and moved back; she wasn't giving her a chance to get a hold of her again. It was smart he thought, she wasn't showing that the woman had bothered her; but she had.

"No, I love him, he loves me. He takes care of me and Amy."

"He keeps you fixed. Your pupils are blown, you've got the shakes. Do you shoot up in your arms? Or between your toes? I bet you pulse is racing too, are you past the point of being addicted; does your body depend on it? You've abused yourself so long your body needs a bit of it just to function, is that what you want for Amy?" Melinda sat back across from her, he winced; not a good spot to be if you were going to provoke a suspect.

The woman lunged again, he saw Melinda jerk back quickly, he forced himself to stay put; she might make the woman crack where they hadn't been able to. "I only use a little, I cut back after Amy was born; I really don't want to hurt my baby."

"What do you use? I'll tell the hospital; it will help your baby."

"Just a little, just a little meth." He closed his eyes, she'd gotten her answer; that poor child though.

"Where do you get the drugs?"

"He gives them to me, he knows I need them. He loves me." The woman looked at her, and he saw it in her eyes; she pitied the woman who believed the man loved her as he abused her, because she had been there.

Melinda stepped out of the room as Munch and Amaro went back in; he wanted to hold her. But he stepped close, he saw where the woman had got her; a scratch on her neck. Nail marks on her wrist, but she wasn't touching them or giving any indication that they bothered her; her eyes were blocked again.

Olivia reached out to her, he watched from a distance if her eyes asked him to he would go to her; he wasn't sure if she wanted everyone to know about them. Melinda shrugged away telling the detective to contact the hospital before she left.

He went back to work after she left, but his mind stayed with the baby in her arms; how right it looked. He remembered when she said at one point she wanted a big family; she would have been good with a lot of kids. She had the patience to balance them and love them.

After the encounter at the precinct Melinda went back to the morgue, she had another post to do and it took her to the end of shift. But she stalled around working on the report even though she needed some results back from the lab to finish them; she didn't want to get home before him today.

When she got home she was relieved to see his car in the driveway, hopefully he understood she just wanted to be close to him; she didn't need to talk about it. She didn't want to talk about it, just to be with him. Dropping her purse in the front hall she went upstairs.

A moment later she heard him pad into the room behind her; he sat on the bed while she changed out of the work clothes. Turning back to look at him, he held out his hands and she moved to him, standing between his legs.

His hands settled on her hips, she let hers fall over his shoulders. "It was a long day."

She nodded; it had been a long day. He reached up and tipped her chin up; faint red lines scored the side of her neck. The woman had gotten a little out of control, but it had been fine; it was minor.

"The baby is okay by the way, hospital called and she's s stable but it will be a long road. She'll never go back to them; CAS is already looking for a foster family."

"That's good, they don't deserve her; poor little girl." She sighed, he pushed her back a step and stood; she let herself be folded against him.

"Want to watch a movie tonight? Just relax for a bit." He spoke, she felt his cheek resting against the top of her head; it was so comfortable right here.

"Sure, something funny would be good."

"We'll find something." He squeezed his arms tight around her and then let her loose; she followed him to the stairs.

They made sandwiches for supper and he cleaned up; she let Springer in as the food was cleared from reach. The dog did a quick circle of her knees and then did one of Fin's before settling at her feet; tail thumping.

She rubbed the dog's side, Springer licked her cheek in appreciation; it was so nice not to be alone. Fin knelt next to her and clipped a leash on Springer's collar; the dog sprang up to bounce around them. "We'll take her to the park and back."

Melinda nodded, it was routine, almost every day they took Springer down the park and back; but the dog never got less excited about it. She walked beside him, his hand in her back pocket, her shoulder brushing his; Springer pulled the leash in his hand.

She tucked her hand in his front pocket, she liked this, especially after today; it was sweet and intimate. It was married in the way she used to dream of being, even though they technically weren't it was close enough; she wasn't sure Fin would want to make that kind of commitment. Wasn't sure she was ready to either though, they were still in their honeymoon stage in a sense, while they moved in together everything was still so new.

She wanted it to work out, he seemed to too; this was a relationship she would fight for but only time would tell. They stopped at the park and she watched the kids climb the slides for a moment while Springer terrorized a squirrel and Fin stopped to talk to a man who always seemed to be there.

As they headed back they fit together again; he leaned down to her. "Done messing around in your head yet?"

"Yeah, I am the day is over." She glanced up at him, touching his lips in a quick peck.

"Good, you did really well today; no one else got through to her. Remember that but come back to me." Fin shut the door behind them and unclipped Springer.

She watched the dog tear through to her water bowl, Fin hung up the leash and dragged her to the couch; they started flipping through channels. They had just settled on a show and she curled into Fin as Springer returned.

The dog looked at them, looked at the TV and pounced; she groaned as the dog sprawled. Perfectly content, Springer was sprawled across both their laps; she laughed as the dogs tongue lolled and Fin scratched an ear.

Tonight the dog stayed in, watched the show with them, squirming any time they gave more attention to the show than to her. And when they went up to bed Springer flopped herself over their knees; nibbling at her fingers after being pushed from between them; her first choice of spot.

It was nice, their little family, Fin's arms settled around her, and the dog over both of them. It was normal, comfortable; everything she wanted. Finally she had the American dream, a man, a house and a dog; things were perfect.

She sighed a little when she heard his pager go off early in the morning; she always knew when he left the bed at night. But she made a point not to complain about it, she wasn't going to change him and his dedication to the job was one of the things she respected. It didn't mean that she didn't miss him; and Springer didn't quite take his place even though she tried.

But it was disappointing to get up without him, she got up almost three hours later and dressed for work; his note was on the table. He'd taken her car because she'd blocked him in but it didn't bother her. She was getting used to his routines, the only part she hated was when he went on night rotation; it was hard to go to sleep without him.

By the time she got to work she knew which scene he was at, he was in for a miserable day. Olivia called and updated her; she wasn't going to see her interns for a couple hours; night shift was probably feeling miserable.

Fin had caught the scene and was back at the precinct; at least they had their perp; she paused to think of how it was day after day. Yesterday it had been a junkie and today it was something else miserable; it was trying.

She had a little while before she had cases and night shift had actually kept up; it was paperwork until the truck got back. Slipping out her stopped at the cafe down the street and got a couple danishes and some coffee.

No one at the precinct knew they were together but Munch had to suspect something; the two men worked together day in and day out. It didn't matter to her if they knew, while she did like the privateness of their relationship; she didn't have to share it with anyone and it was nice.

But she knew him, and Munch was cut from similar cloth; neither of them had taken time for food since the call out. Not to mention coffee sucked in the precinct, she took the stairs to avoid getting hit up for a snack.

She stepped into the squad, Munch had his back to her but Fin glanced up; she gave him a smile. He stood, she saw him tense, and she shook her head as Munch spun. "Melinda, did you bring food? Why do you care about two overworked detectives, or is it just one of us that matters?"

"You both matters John, but it's been a long morning already has it not?" She handed Fin one coffee and set the other in front of the skeptic.

"Yes it has, is that conformation I'm getting?" He took the coffee and she rolled her eyes at his grin.

"Shut it old man." Fin interjected, she smiled as his hand slid to her hip.

"Hm, that's how you thank your woman when she brings you breakfast? You could do so much better Warner." Munch sipped his coffee and she rolled her eyes.

"No, no I couldn't and I appreciate professionalism." She moved to his desk, ignoring Munch who had snagged a danish; hopefully he'd be occupied for a moment. "I don't have much to do until the bodies are cleared to leave scene."

"You do realize I figured out you two were together a couple weeks ago; don't restrain yourselves on my account." Apparently it took more than coffee and danishes to shut Munch up.

The both turned and glared at him, and sadly he continued. "I don't think anyone else has though, he did quite well yesterday; though I thought he was going in there at one point."

"Munch, either keep your nose out or I drive all week." Fin snarled, though both his hands had settled on her hips; he stood close and it was enough for her.

"Fine, fine; no need to threaten my life." Munch's head ducked down to his food.

She smiled, the two were hilarious but they worked well together. "He is such a pain in the ass, but we both needed this Mel; thanks."

"No problem, Springer can't quite take your place anymore." She smiled; he leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"Good, the dog can't replace me; that's a step up in the world. I'll see you tonight if not sooner; I don't know who'll come down for the posts." He let her go reluctantly; her turning up with breakfast was nice; really nice.

He usually forgot to eat when they got a hot case, and this one was one of many they had on the round right now. She knew that and knew it helped, it did help; he thought well when he was full. Not to mention outside coffee had a much better kick, and Munch couldn't screw it up.

He watched her go before sneaking his hand into the bakery bag, he'd already seen they were cherry; his favourite. He turned back to his paperwork, their suspect needed to sweat anyway.

"So you two are serious then?" Sadly he couldn't stick Munch in interrogation; the man could be a dog with a bone.

"Yes we are, but that doesn't concern you." He took a bite of danish, the only way this could be better was if he wasn't going to get grilled while he ate.

"Oh yes it does, you have been in far too good a mood lately; it was the first clue. Not to mention you leave the very second you can and drive a different car sometimes when you come to a callout. You work with a detective every day." Munch sipped his coffee, why she had brought another for his partner he didn't know; it encouraged the man.

"I didn't realize you paid attention to my personal time."

"I watch everything. Ready to go earn your keep? Stash those, or they'll be gone by the time we get out."

He groaned, and wolfed down the last of his danish; Munch was fed and feeling better; perfect. But the morning passed quickly and when everyone else got back they were dragging badly, they had even more of a chance to stop for food; he was glad Melinda had stopped by.

It was almost lunch by the time he had a chance to offer one to Olivia, the rookies had been sent down to get the posts. She took one gratefully and didn't question where it came from; he didn't offer an explanation.


	6. Chapter 6

Time passed steadily, they chose not to broadcast their relationship but people found out gradually and they didn't mind. He never really got the memory of her holding that baby out of his mind, nor how she had once wanted a family.

At her insistence they had a dinner with his son, he seemed to like her; if only to pick her brain. He was looking at getting into CSU tech department for an internship and she was owed a favor. She was natural with kids of any age; even though his son was no longer a child.

His sexuality didn't bother her what so ever and that mattered to him in a small way; he had needed time to accept it. While she went right along with it suggesting that his boyfriend come for family dinners on holidays.

She moved against him and he glanced down; the movie had barely started when she fell asleep. It was precious, she'd straightened her hair that morning; it looked so different on her. It was nice, but it made her look very professional, now the curl was beginning to work its way back in with a vengance.

She was cute, she'd argue with him till she was blue about that but she was. She was also classy and smart but to him it all rolled together to cute. He knew without a shadow of a doubt he wanted to spend his life with her; to give her all he could.

Her love had given him a new outlook on life, at work she could see true evil and keep going but step out of it to look at the simple beauty of things. She pushed sometimes and he knew he drove her up the wall but at the same time it was impossible to stay mad at her; when they did fight she always stopped to talk it out.

They never went to bed angry at each other, it was her rule and he liked it. She had a stubborn streak a mile wide and so did he, but they could agree to disagree;and there was enough that they agreed on it wasn't really an issue. She squirmed again and he tickled her a little, she always woke up slow and it was precious; but she hated being tickled.

There was a squeak and she rolled away from him, falling over the end of the couch; in the same moment Springer jumped eliciting a squeal. Laughing he wrangled the dog into his lap as she sat up, her eyes narrowed.

"That was mean."

"I forgot about Springer." He gave her a hopeful smile and received a smack on the arm.

"Still mean, I was comfy." She curled back into his side as he tossed the dog on the ground; she did a quick circle and put her head in his lap.

"I know but the movie is over. I'm shutting Springer out tonight."

"Ugh fine but if you leave for a call out let her in."

"Can't sleep alone anymore?" He teased, sliding out from under her and scooping the dog up; Springer hated being put out. Her favourite spot to sleep was sprawled alongside or over Melinda; she'd push him out of the way if she could.

Shutting the dog beyond the back door he walked away as she started to whine, the dog would make anyone believe she was abused given half the chance; even though Melinda spoiled her rotten. He checked in the living room to find Melinda had already gone up to bed.

He followed and curled her to him; she rolled onto her back and cuddled against him. He studied her for a moment, there were questions in his mind; and as much as he wanted to ask he liked what they had.

"What's on your mind?" Her hand smoothed over his cheek.

"I was just thinking, Mel you said your covered for, uh, birth control but I never see you take a pill. Can you still have kids?" He closed his eyes, it came out all wrong.

"Yes, I get an injection every three months. Fin what's this about?" Her brows knit a bit.

"I was wondering if maybe we could try to have a baby. I know it is fast but it's almost been four months and that's really fast. I love you and I remember you said you wanted a big family and I saw you hold that little one in the precinct. I'd like to raise a child with you, honestly I'd like to marry you but I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He broke off, he needed to learn control around her; sometimes it simply vanished.

She was quiet for a long time; he was about to try and take it back to wait a while longer or something when she spoke. "Why would you think I'd be uncomfortable with marrying you?"

"Because I don't want you to feel trapped, I don't want it to ever feel like your first one…"

"Do you think it could? Ever since I've met you I've never seen one thing you have in common with my ex. It's fast, yes but really no; we've had ten years to get to know each other. We work well together, you make me happy." She rolled away from him and propped herself up on her hip facing him; he stared into her eyes. He did see fear there.

"Mel I don't know I just I don't want it to hurt you in any way. I'm open to living however you want as long as I'm with you." He spoke quietly, reaching for her, wanting that contact between them.

"You really want kids though?"

"I'm open to it, I like kids and I'd be happy to raise a child with you. We both have one from a previous relationship who is grown and they both turned out okay. I'd like to try with a chance of it unless you don't want to." He stroked her side, all he needed was her.

"I won't lie to you Fin; it would be harder for us to get pregnant. I've been on birth control since shortly after Kay's birth and I'm older; we might need to consider other options if we really want…"

"No, no you don't have to go through any of that. Mel just the chance, if it happens we celebrate it; if not you are more than enough for me. Springer will just stay spoiled beyond rotten."

"I won't get the next injection." She smiled at him, her stomach was knotting but he was sincere. He was adorable when he was awkward and he spoke without thinking; she liked it.

It was nice to know he was thinking of it, she was past the cutsie romance that was fake, she'd had that before; and it was empty. He meant what he said and when he said something he stuck to it; she just had to work it out of his mouth.

"Okay." He smiled and she leaned in; their lips meant gently.

She leaned into him, running her hands down his body. "Make love to me."

He smiled against her, she felt his hands slid over her, pushing up her the old t-shirt she always slept in but his words made her blood run cold. "You on top this time."

She swallowed hard, he was good to her and she loved him but when it came to some things it was just hard. She shook her head; he'd pulled her into his lap before but always let her roll under him before taking him.

She didn't like the idea of him having that view of her body that control over her; it reminded her of being pushed away. It had been so many years ago but she didn't like it; it didn't excite her; and yet he wanted it.

Closing her eyes she let him lift her over his hips resting her hands on his chest she leaned down to kiss him. His hands ran through her hair stroking down over her body. She sighed reaching between them to stroke him.

His groan rocked through both of them and he nipped her ear; his words made her shiver. "Mel so good; sometimes I want you so bad. You know I just about flipped you over the counter tonight; so tempting."

She almost wished he would, it was good to be wanted; to be taken. In truth she'd never been taken from behind; she thought she might like it. Hell, there were many things she thought she might like if he was the one doing them to her.

She started to slide down his thighs, he was already hot against her. Stroking him quickly she let him spin her and felt his hands parting her thighs; her mouth slid over him as his touched her. She jolted quickly and matched his pace working him as he worked her.

Her body quaked and she sighed as release slid through her letting him slip deeper into her throat. She felt his hands running between them, tugging her nipples. "Come up baby, I want you Mel."

A thrill ran through her, fear and excitement in one shock as she turned. Stroking him once more she lined herself up and looked into his eyes. His hands were on her hips, he didn't pull her down but she saw he wanted to.

Easing down onto him she rocked back, savoring the feel of him inside her. Sliding up and down she controlled the pace, his hips thrust up to meet her and his hands anchored on her breasts. It was terrifying and exciting; he leaned up to lick her breasts.

She reached back cupping his balls and he pushed up hard. "Faster baby."

All she could do was whimper, grinding her hips to his; she felt his body pulse. His release shot into her it was a shock all over again, it run down her thighs and she kept going; seeking her own release. Feeling the warmth within her and collapsed against his chest, pushing her hips down as his pushed up; he rolled them.

He slid from her and she groaned; needing more. His hands dragged her hips to the edge of the bed; she opened her thighs eagerly. "You okay Mel?"

She nodded and her spine arched as he thrust into her roughly. His hands slid under her hips and gripped her to him; he thrust into her hard. He knew he was getting rougher as he went and yet he could see her going up, he wanted to hear her scream.

They'd each had one release but he knew it was only the first pop of tension; her body could go so much higher. He liked sending her there, planting a hand on either side of her he grunted as he moved; slamming himself into her.

His name fell from her lips and he groaned pounding into her once more before collapsing. "Damn Mel."

He felt her chest pushing his, her arms and legs had curled around his body; he rolled them and scooted back onto the bed. He had every intention of sleeping with her on his chest; he was so completely sated.

She shifted and he looked down, her cheek was on his chest and she was looking up to him. "Maybe next time you want me you should just take me."

He groaned, she had no idea what she just said. Yet she offered and he might just remember that, leaning down he kissed the top of her head.

She slept comfortably, falling asleep to his heartbeat; this was safety. In the morning she slipped from the bed, it was rare for her to wake up before him and headed for the shower. Turning the water up hotter than he liked she stood under the flow relaxing.

He'd said a lot last night, and she'd responded with her heart; not taking the time to think. She liked the idea of a family with him, he'd be a good father; he was a good father. And she liked the way they worked together as if they'd been married years; marriage with him wasn't unappealing.

It just brought up a quell of nerves, when she really thought about it; if they did do it she didn't want a big ceremony. She wanted him, just him and his family and Kaylen; it was theirs and no one else's. She wasn't even concerned about whether or not she was pregnant when they got married; he would be there and he wanted a child.

Yet it was nice that he wanted her just as she was. She sighed and turned under the water letting it hit her front as she heard the door move on the shower; his solid chest pressed to her back. "You are trying to burn yourself."

She sighed as he reached around her and turned down the heat. "Good morning."

" Mhm I think I remember something about taking you when I want you last night."

She shivered, as his lips pressed against her neck. "Maybe."

His hands slid over her body, slick with water she groaned as he moved; she felt a sharp pain in her ass and flinched. But just as quickly his hand kneaded the flesh. Mhm that's good, like that baby?"

He slapped her ass again and she purred; she did like it. Every smack was followed by a firm massage, she braced her hands on the wall; already needing him again. His lips attached to her shoulder and he sucked hard; she knew there would be a mark.

As his hands slid to her breasts she felt him against her, angled to her entrance she felt him move as her nipples were tugged. She braced herself against his thrusts, his hips colliding with hers; he probed hard within her.

Bending over farther she encouraged him deeper, one arm slid around her waist keeping her ready for him as his other hand braced alongside hers. She shoved her hips back hard against his over and over again; he tore in and out of her.

His hand around her hips slid and she yipped he pressed her clit as he thrust into her. Her body crashed, she slumped against the wall and he withdrew from her as she struggled to get her breath back. Before she could brace herself again his arm pulled her up again and he slid back and exploded.

His hips rocked against hers as he rode out his release; she felt an ache well deep within her. Her legs had turned to jello, he held her against his body as the water ran over them both. It was a long time before she stood on her own.

Rinsing herself clean she stepped out and wrapped a towel around her body, he reached around her for one and she moved slowly out of the way; she knew he saw the stiffness.

"Are you alright Mel?"

"Will you believe me if I say I'm perfect." She turned back and pressed her lips to his cheek.

"No, I'd say you're sore, but I'm not sorry; we've got to do that again." He wrapped an arm around her hips, that particular fight was one they'd had many times before.

"Good." She grinned at him and left the bathroom, he followed her back and watched her dry her hair and start to dress.

She fitted her bra and he fastened it as was his habit, while he did it daily he still liked to; it was something simple. Melinda flashed him a smile and continued to dress; he pulled out his own clothes. "Want to go out for breakfast?"

"Sure, bakery past the park? "

"Give me a minute." He nodded and headed downstairs.

They walked to the bakery hand in hand, he liked their neighborhood; he paused by the park. He could see them sitting there someday, a child on the climber and Springer harassing local squirrels. He could see a family with her in a way he never had with anyone else, even though he had tried to raise a child already; he hadn't been wanted there.

Melinda wanted him every day; she curled into him in her sleep and put up with him leaving at all hours. Even now he held her hand yet he could see a slight hitch in her gait as she moved; she liked that when he tried not to feel bad. She would never tell him if he hurt her, he had no doubt of that, she'd as much as admitted to it; and still he was comfortable in sensing her boundaries.

They took their coffees and food to a spot on the edge of the park, he tucked her under his arm as they sat on the bench. "Mel, I don't want to make a big deal of this, neither of us came into this relationship new. I want us to have a relationship but it is ours; it doesn't need to conform to any standards or social crap. I'll get you a ring and a dress but let's have a civil ceremony with our friends and kids there. If you want something else, something more please tell me?"

"I want you in a suit, but other than that it sounds perfect. But I want to do something different for rings. Let's not do the engagement thing, its crap. Can we just pick our rings and I'll wear yours till the ceremony and you wear mine?"

"I can't exactly wear a ring with a diamond on it." He glanced down as she smacked his knee.

"Just a plain band, you can wear mine on your pinky and I'll wear yours on my thumb." She took his hand and they compared his pinky to her ring finger; it would be the only one he had a hope of getting it on.

"Fine but I want you to take my name, only thing; or hyphenate your maiden name if you want." He squeezed her a little.

"I'll take yours, but Kaylen is probably going to jump you to do the same thing; when I thought of going back to my maiden name she was all over it." She leaned her cheek against his chest, she didn't need fancy or formal and it wasn't his style; this was perfect.

"If you want and she wants I'll adopt her, its past the point where it matters in some ways but I'll care for her as my own; you know that. But it's her choice, your choice." He was so sweet, and she knew he didn't know what to say; but he tried.

"We can let her make the choice, Fin; it's perfect. Let's get our rings and then wait awhile. We'll have to tell people." She didn't have a lot of people to tell, most of their friends were mutual.

"Munch knows, he's known for like three months, Olivia knows we are both with someone; I don't know if she has figured out that we are together. Captain should know."

"You should include Rollins and Amaro, they will want to know; they're part of your squad." She knew he didn't care as much about the rookies as he did the rest of his unit; there was still some tension in the change.

"Once Munch figures out Cragen and Liv know he'll broadcast it far and wide for us. You know how hard it has been to keep his bony ass silent this long?"

"I take it you haven't driven much at work in the last few months?" She laughed, knowing he hated Munch's driving as much as the other detective hated his; he did like to speed.

"Small price to pay." She grinned when he kissed her cheek.

"Should we have a barbecue or something and let people know about all of it?"

"No. You cook for them they will never leave us alone, especially Munch. We'll have a meal all together at our place after our wedding. You want a gold band or silver? I want to think about our wedding." He took her hand in his, she watched him lift it as if studying her again.

"Anything, something simple and it will be perfect."

"I think gold, it's traditional and it'll look good on your skin. Maybe we both get gold bands." She turned his hand, taking her turn to look; she'd get his inscribed and wear it until he did and be happy.

"I like that idea." She finished her coffee and took his empty cup, taking them to the trash she turned back, he stood and she walked into his arms.

"You want to spend the day at the house?" She settled in stride beside him.

"Is there an option there?" She grinned as he dropped her hand and slid his into her back pocket.

"I could spoil you a little, shoulder rub and board games?" He hated every board game with the exception of monopoly; and that was only because it made sense to him; or so he said.

"We could go out somewhere, that wasn't really an option." She teased, knowing his mind was mostly made up; she would reciprocate anything he offered.

"But then I'd have to share you, compromise, day at home and concert in the park tonight?"

o0o

:)For anyone who couldn't see that coming :P... thank you to everyone for the support


	7. Chapter 7

**_Sorry for the long wait _**

It was dark; he was above her, on her; his hands pressing her legs open. She pushed at him, bringing her knee up but he was stronger; he was stronger when he was drunk. And tonight he was too drunk, he had her pinned; some girlfriend hadn't put out she realized.

He grabbed at her roughly, hurling insults and she closed her eyes, feeling tears running down her cheeks. She gasped as she woke, her body drenched in a cold sweat as her chest heaved; it was a nightmare.

Jerkily she slid from the bed, going down the stairs she started to make a cup of tea; trying to calm down. It was the past, many years past; she just had to remember that. She'd never dreamed like that before, she remembered some of the worst times but they had never haunted her before.

Leaning against the counter she wished for Fin, he was on night shift and it was hard to sleep without him. She hadn't seen Trevor in more than a year and it hadn't bothered her. Other than an occasional phone call right after the divorce she'd blocked him out.

Then he'd shown up at the morgue, he didn't think she should marry Fin. What he thought didn't matter but it frustrated her. He had no claim to her life, especially now. She was happy and Fin was a good man; and he was someone she wanted as her husband. He cared, he made time and he took interest in things she liked; even when he was bored out of his skull.

Her wedding was two weeks away and she was looking forward to it. Having him in her dreams however was not pleasant and it was her worst memories. In a way it was good that Fin wasn't home; he didn't need to see this or know about it.

Finishing the tea she went back upstairs, she had work in the morning and she needed some sleep. She lay awake most of the night, early in the morning she drifted back to sleep.

He had made good time getting home, Melinda wasn't up yet and there was almost an hour before she needed to leave for work. She had slept fitfully he realized, she hadn't let Springer in either; that wasn't normal. Leaning down he ran a hand over her side and down her thigh.

She flinched and then rolled away, he saw her body tense, she never did that. Usually she arched towards him; he sat beside her and slid his hand over her belly pulling her back to him. Her hands closed over his, pushing him away for a moment before her eyes opened; she relaxed slightly. She was sweaty he realized. "Bad dream Mel?"

"Something like that." She stretched, she was still tired and it didn't look like she'd slept well at all.

"Have some time for me?" He leaned down over her, pressing his lips to hers, sliding a hand up until hers stopped him. "Are you okay Mel?"

He rolled to the side, lying down beside her; something was off. Gently he pressed a hand to her cheek, kissing the other lightly, his hand trailing down of her shoulder. "Mel if you aren't in the mood its okay, I just thought it'd be fun."

"Maybe we take a break, keep some energy for our honeymoon? We haven't broken in most of the house." She took his hand, rubbing it between hers; he just looked at her for a moment.

"If that's what you want. But Mel, do you think we'll stop wanting each other?" He pulled back a little, something was really off.

"No, no it's not that. We will, I just want to make sure we have some energy when we get there. You don't want to?" He slipped free to rub her cheek.

"Okay. No, it's okay if that's what you want, if that's the only reason you want us to wait then I'm okay with it. Is it?" Brushing back her hair he looked into her eyes, he knew it wasn't the only reason she wanted to wait; but if it was what she wanted he had no problem.

"No, it's not but it is what I think we should do. I'm just not…."

"That's all you gotta say Mel. But I'd like to know, when you wanna talk about it. We'll wait, but I still want to hold you; is that okay?"

She nodded, he pulled her close wrapping his arms around her as she squirmed a little; he pressed his lips to her cheek. He felt her sigh and relax against him a little; it was good to hold her close; always good.

"You want to tell me about your visitor Wednesday? I was in the morgue last night and a tech told me someone stopped by; upset you." He held her close but felt her tense just a little.

"My ex, Fin, it isn't a big deal; he just turned up." She sighed and he leaned back a little; feeling himself tense a little to.

"It upset you. Melinda what did he want?"

"It wasn't a big surprise; he doesn't think we should get married. Fin it is just frustrating, I hadn't seen him in a year and I didn't really need to now. The only contact I wanted from him was over Kaylen and she's at an age where we can each deal with her; not each other." She sighed shifting unhappily; it was upsetting her more than she wanted to say.

"And we agreed that I could deal with him, Mel is he why you don't want to have sex?"

"It's kind of a mood killer and maybe a little; it just doesn't put me in a frame of mind to be with you. I want to be near you but I just don't like to remember some things; it's harder to deal with it when I'm alone at night. He felt her breath shudder, and leaned his cheek to hers.

"Let me deal with this Mel, you don't need to deal him; he has no reason to see you." He ground his teeth, it was past time someone had a chat with Trevor Warner about his treatment of his ex-wife.

"Fin. I just want him to leave me alone, leave us alone." She broke off and her cheek turned into his chest; he tightened his grip around her. He hated seeing her upset, and right now he hated the man. "I'm happy, I'm happy with you."

He gritted his teeth and held her for a long time, she didn't need this and she wasn't going to deal with it again. She got up and he made breakfast, he'd been tired when he got home but he wasn't anymore. He saw her off to work and headed back to the precinct.

Melinda probably had a copy of the divorce papers in her things somewhere, but he wasn't going to bother trying to find them; he could get more information from the database at work. He was relieved that the squad room was busy but his unit was out on a scene; except for Amaro who had been on nights with him.

He pulled the man's record and the divorce papers. Melinda hadn't fought him on anything, she hadn't even demanded child support; not that the man would be able pay it if she had. Trevor had lived off of her not with her and it looked like he had lost most of what he got out of the house when they split it.

There was a crap apartment now listed as his home address. The man probably was missing being married to a doctor, on unemployment now and job long gone. Fin snarled at the picture of the ex, the man should have been put in his place a long time ago.

He heard his name behind him and turned to see his Captain moving towards the desk. "Fin, you are three hours off. Why are you here?"

"Just taking care of some personal stuff." He started to shut the browser, a hand stopped his.

"Warner's divorce papers, Fin what are you doing?" The man's voice was tight.

"She got an unwelcome visit and something should have been done long before she had to do it herself. I'm marrying her and he's getting antsy; I want to know why." He knew the surprise as he twisted the ring on his finger.

"Fin, my office now." Cragen didn't give him a choice, moving away quickly.

"Listen Captain, this is my business, sorry I didn't tell you all; wedding's in two weeks and you all are welcome to the reception. I've been meaning to tell you, been moving through the squad; had to tell Olivia too. But I need to deal with this; it needed to be dealt with a long time ago." He squared off with his Captain who leaned against the desk; he watched him.

"Anything you tell me doesn't need to leave this room."

"Look Captain, she doesn't want this through the precinct and she worked hard to keep out of here. It's not fair but I need to deal with her creep." He sighed; sometimes the man was too easy to talk to.

"Fin, anything you say to me stays with me. I've been on the job for a while now I've gotten pretty good at running cases."

He spun on the man, his stomach twisted even as he turned on heel to face the man. "This isn't a case, this is the woman who is going to be my wife; and she's been harassed long enough and you know what's worse? She works with us every day and none of us picked up on it."

"What do you mean?" Cragen's voice was tight, and he sighed; he wanted to keep her secret but he also wanted to tell someone.

"It was a bad marriage; she got pregnant early on and held it together for her daughter; even though she didn't have anything with her husband. He lived off her and didn't want the divorce; had the easy life. She didn't take the pay job and he didn't like that but she is still a doctor and the city pays fair enough. "

"I'd imagine so, she put in the years to get her doctorate, Fin are you sure you aren't just hearing one side of all this?"

"Yeah I am, I've only heard it from her but I've seen it in her." He scrubbed a hand over his face; he hated himself for what he thought but it was also what he knew. "Captain she will never tell me if he got physical with her, I've told her what I wanted to do to him for just what I knew to start with. I'll never know if he hurt her but I'll tell you this, seeing him again hurt her; it kept her awake last night."

"When did she see him?" Cragen's eyebrows rose.

"He came to the morgue to talk to her, she hadn't seen him in a year; and didn't really mind that. She didn't tell me, a tech she works with a lot mention it to me and that she seemed off afterwards. She didn't want to tell me about it but in the same two minutes she also told me she wants to hold off on sex."

He broke off for a moment, he didn't want to discuss this but he couldn't keep it inside either. "He insulted everything about her and had seventeen years to do it, and no one knew; she worked with cops every damn day! Every day and none of us picked up on it. She holds me and tells me it's no big deal, it only hurts because she's happy."

"She wasn't for seventeen years, that's a long time to stay with a man you don't love. Not a lot of people would have been able to hold it together, why the visit?" Cragen eyes were level again, he was still thinking of this as a case Fin knew; but for the moment that was okay; Cragen could pick things apart like no one else.

" He's broke, spent all the money he got out of the divorce and living of UI, doesn't think she should marry me; well for him that's a no brainer." Finally he dropped into the chair.

"It could be a lot more than that, does she plan to take your name?"

"Yea, we agreed on it, no question; she only kept his for their daughter."

"There could be a lot of reasons he wants her to keep it, do you know how they had their finances set up? How she changed them after the divorce?" Cragen moved to sit behind his desk, and Fin felt his entire body go cold.

"No, no I don't, we keep separate accounts, I wanted her to have full control of her money; we have a joint one we both put money in for the house and stuff; I didn't ask to many questions I…."

"You didn't want to be like him and it didn't cross your mind to. Fin, I was married a number of years ago; old fashioned marriage. We only had joint accounts, both had access but it could be said I controlled the money.

"If he wasn't making any he doesn't sound like the type of guy who is going to get an allowance from his wife; it's very likely they had a similar set up. She would have changed it after the divorce no doubt but she still has his name. He knows the right information, gets the right clerk and tells the right story; I don't need to tell you of the stupidity that's out there." Cragen's tone was dead serious, his eyes hard but he couldn't believe it; he couldn't be using her still.

"She'd notice, I'm sure she would; she's careful of her finances. She has one set up for Kaylen and she monitors it constantly to make sure the kid isn't getting out of control."

"He had seventeen years to squirrel money and find loop holes. If it was a marriage of convenience he likely knew at some point he would be given the boot; especially when they only had one child. She may not even know and honestly how many times have we seen it?"

"It would have been caught in the divorce, someone would have found it."

"Did they fight over anything? If not they may not have looked too hard and if he only had a limited supply and played it right as long as they shared a last name and he was careful he could get what he needed; we both know there are ways.

"She should have her investments checked, and all her accounts; it might be the only way he knows how to live. Her last name changes he loses access and panics, scares her into calling off the marriage and he gets a little more time."

"What I don't get is how he knew? I mean she hasn't told him and… and she bought her dress. Fancy bag and thing."

"If he can get into her accounts and see her statements a wedding dress would be a big problem. When did she get it?"

"Over the weekend. Bastard, I owe him a visit and then I need to make a visit to the bank."

"I think you need some company." Cragen stood reaching for his coat. "I'll take some personal time."

"No offense Captain but I don't want company and you aren't exactly threatening." Fin stood, he really didn't want company; or witnesses.

"All the more reason you should have some, and you forget I may not be physically threatening but I am owed a favor or two. I can make his life very miserable; I don't advise taking your badge." Cragen rounded the desk, and he knew the decision was made." You do know you are going to be sleeping in the dog house till your wedding."

"Probably but this is way past due; especially if he is still using her." There was a lot more that was way past due, but if he could find a way to trip him up legally; it could be a lot worse. And much more final, with answers.

The car ride was silent, he wasn't exactly sorry to let Cragen drive, the man could be frustrating but when push came to shove he always had your back. Right now he was glad to have him along, just like he was glad he'd talked to him; it wouldn't go any farther but he wasn't the only one living with it anymore.

They pulled up in front of the building and went up to the floor; the place was beat down. "Big step down in the world, are you sure you want to do this Fin?"

"He needs to be reminded of his place in the world." And that was all he had to say before raising his fist to pound on the door. "Creep lived off her so long he forgot how to work apparently."

The door opened and he found himself looking at the man he had seen only a handful of times over the years; but hated with a passion. His fist curled instinctively, Cragen spoke first. "Trevor Warner?"

"Who's asking?" It was either the man or the room that reeked of booze, neither impressed him much.

"Your worst enemy. Want to tell me your business with Melinda?" He pushed the man back, stepping into the room.

"Ugly bitch, what's it to you?" The man backed up a step, looking him up and down. "You the new guy she hooked, I'd run while I still can she's an ice queen; black and flat…"

That was all the man got out before Fin's fist found his jaw. He felt cold himself as he watched the man stagger back, laughing; he stepped closer as the idiot opened his mouth again. "You know what's more fun, knock a few back and then come home; she'll always be there, try and tell you no at first but it's the only way to get with her. Trust me man you could do better."

He surged forward even as Cragen's arm crossed his chest; his captain still had some strength. "Are you telling me you raped her?"

"It's not rape if you put the ring on their finger, and she wanted it; we had a kid and she was happy enough. Not that Kay'll talk to me anymore; mommy is an angel and I'm the demon. I came home to her every night, and she was always there, only thing she cared about was her baby; didn't give a damn about her husband; trust me I needed something on the side."

"Trust me I agree with only one thing you've said; demon." He sidestepped the arm in front of him and forced his fist into the guy's gut as hard as he could. "You ever come near her again and you won't walk away."

"I've got all I need, don't need her but don't think she needs you; I'm not heartless enough to wish that on anybody else." He was bringing his fist back again as Cragen spoke.

"You will want to tread lightly now Warner, I don't take to well to men who abuse their wives. Now I can make your life very miserable, or you can give me some answers. Information is all we need, you talk to me; he won't hurt you."

"I'm not saying to that." Fin snarled, he was beginning to process everything that had been said.

"Yes you are, now take a step back." Cragen's voice was hard and cold; he'd never heard the tone quiet that dead before. "You can tell me about your marriage and your divorce as well as how you support yourself now or it will likely be beat out of you."

"You've got nothing on me, and who are you to think you can talk to me like that." The man bluffed, now free gaining some space.

"I can report you to the IRS for the investments you made in your wife's name and never declared in your divorce that are her property that you support yourself off of; you really shouldn't leave banking information lying around." Cragen's voice never changed but the little prick began to eye the room frantically under the older gaze.

It took a moment too long to respond, the answer had been loud and clear; Cragen had hit the nail on the head. "Now it looks like the only thing you are good at is hacking your wife's accounts; or you knew you were getting the boot for a while and started squirreling. I really don't care. How often did you rape your ex-wife?"

"She was never raped and I didn't touch her unless I needed to, trust me she's no joy in bed, flat and limp she….."

"I don't think you want to continue that line of thought or you will meet two fists. I asked you a simple question." Cragen had a good grip on his shoulder again, Fin glared for a moment and then shrugged it off; he'd never get that out of Melinda.

"We didn't do it regular at all, trust me I didn't want to but occasionally; a couple times. It was pointless anyways, never knocked her up again." He snarled as the man shrugged, it took every ounce of self-restraint not to put a fist through his face.

"Trust me, she took care of that." He clenched his fist and then relaxed it quickly; he needed to hear this to know it.

"And to satisfy yourself?" Cragen's tone hadn't changed but Fin had the feeling the look alone would keep the man there; and kill him when he gave up the information.

"She was busy enough what with dance and that stupid office; she spent seven years in school to cut on dead people; could have made a mint anywhere else. But she did well enough, bet your looking forward to that; only bonus. I don't have a problem picking up girls but light, lighter the better; looks nicer on me." That comment brought a round house swing.

"Sorry, that was needed." Fin spoke coolly to Cragen.

"I more than agree. You ever knock her around for kicks?"

"Naw man, no point and Kay didn't need to see that; kid didn't get it. Watching TV at my friend's house was no big deal, no reason to abuse the bitch or anything."

There was a tight grip on his shoulder again as he opened his mouth." You don't call putting up with you abuse?"

"Drop it, you can tell me how you squirrelled your money and we're done."

"I don't have anything to say on that." At least he had some good sense; it was a little late though.

"I got no problem helping you find the words." Stepping forward Fin reached out for the man.

"You can find the words or I'll find the money; and it will be gone before you blink. You will also be reported to the police and I'm sure they will find a list of charges for you; you will lose the money and do jail time."

"She picks obvious codes and I had some interests she didn't know about before we split; it's not that hard. She never knew and she's set well enough it didn't hurt her none."

"It was her money and still is; you'll have to be paying that back. I'll be waiting in the car." Cragen turned on heel and walked away.

Fin just stared at him for a moment. He wanted to reach out and deck the man again, but slowly he became aware of the smell and the filth. He could beat the man to a bloody pulp but it wouldn't change anything; it couldn't undo anything. Trevor Warner had fallen as far as there was to fall; all he was now was a drunk.

He stepped closer and brought his knee up hard; the other man keeled backwards groaning. "See when you want to use it again."

Nothing he'd done would leave bad marks and neither of them had ever given their name; or touched anything. It had been a good thing Cragen had come; he wouldn't have gotten those answers.

Stepping onto the street he crossed quickly to the car, and got in; Cragen was already on the phone. He listened to the one-sided conversation until the phone was put away. "That didn't take very long."

"No, I didn't need very long. Thank you; I couldn't have gotten that out of him"

"Fin I don't think you realize nearly how drunk he was. When he was with her and had what he wanted he probably masked it, he probably could still mask it if it suited his needs?"

"Yeah but when you really look you can see through him."

"When I look back I can see through him, I don't like to think of what I should have seen; especially after hearing him. It doesn't make a difference but I am sorry for her." There was sympathy there; and pity.

"It does, it does because I know now, and she never would have said it and I need to know. It helps to understand." He sighed, he didn't want to face it; he should have put his fist through the man's face.

"A year ago you would have beat him bloody, Fin you might not think it makes a difference but it will. An investigation will be opened into his finances before close of business today. You need to talk to Melinda and give her some codes; they'll freeze all her accounts and anything in her name to catch where he's pulling from."  
" I'll talk to her tonight, I'm going to head home; I need to sleep and deal with it. Let me know a time frame and I'll get her set up." He began to feel the day and night before; it needed to happen.

"Fin, you love her and I think that is good for both of you; it will change you for the better. I'll see you Monday; get some sleep."

"Thanks Captain, I owe you." He was relieved to get back to the precinct and finally home.

He stood in the hall for a long moment, the photo of Melinda and Kaylen still hung there. Looking at her with her child, everything she went through for her child; for seventeen years. He could barely deal with the truth of it all.

Fin was sleeping when she got home. He looked exhausted even in sleep, changing out of her scrubs she sat beside him; rubbing his back for a moment. He groaned softly and she smiled as he curled around her hip; he'd be wired tonight.

It had been a quiet day at work; she was relieved to have the break. His eyes opened and he raised a hand to scrub his face. She caught it quickly. His knuckles were bruised. "What did you do?"

"Took care of something, how was your day Mel?" He pulled his hand away and snaked it around her, she smiled leaning against him.

She lay beside him. "It was good, quiet and routine; I needed it. Going to tell me what you got into?"

"I do, I need to tell you. I paid someone a visit today. I also talked to Cragen about your past. I need you to listen to me; please don't get mad." He gripped her arms as she started to pull back; her stomach rolled. "Just listen to me."

"I need a minute, please let me go." Panic built in her, she pulled back expecting him to hold her but he didn't. She got up and moved away quickly.

She had worked hard to keep her life private. But it was hard to deal with, she knew that, had faced that; and had a reason for it. Fin had to cope too; he needed to talk to someone; that was only fair. He cared and she knew he did, he needed to cope too; she had made the choices that affected them both.

"Mel." She turned back, he'd sat up; she took a couple deep breaths and went to sit beside him.

"It's okay Fin. It's okay I just wasn't prepared for it. I don't like to think about it but I made my own choices. You didn't have input and it's a big deal." She took his hand, he had a right to his opinion; she had to respect that.

"Mel, there is a lot more and you need to hear it." Fin spoke, he pulled her closer and she swallowed hard.

"You went to see Trevor." She spoke, now understanding what happened to his hands. "Fin what did you do?"

"Very little, I could have done a lot more: I took Cragen with me."

She sighed a little bit, that was good; good to keep Fin from doing something stupid. "At least I can be thankful for that."

"Mel, he told me some things, well he told Cragen some things I just tried not to beat him to a bloody pulp." He sighed. "He was drunk, and it had him speaking freely; he didn't make us as cops."

She gulped; she had known he was drinking again; heavily. She wasn't blind to his shortcomings even if he had covered them when he came to see her; she knew the signs. Even if she hated him, she didn't want to see him drink himself to death; no one should go that way.

"I know, he, he hadn't been when he came to the morgue. But I know he has been, he isn't healthy; or in control of himself anymore. I, I may have hated him and seen the worst but he could always put it away before.

"He'd put it away when Kay was around or when he went out. But when he got drunk it came out a few times, I always knew he had a temper but when we got married it was okay; he had control." She sighed and moved to a little to face him better.

"Mel, did he work when you were together?" Fin's voice was tight and she was unsure.

"Yes, he had a couple different ones; he had some problems with bosses. But he worked most of the time as an exec at a couple different companies. Why Fin?" Melinda gripped his hand a little tighter.

"Because this needs to be put to bed. I didn't think of it either of us considered it; I don't want to think about it Mel. He more or less admitted it. He's stealing from you and living off it."

"No, Fin; he's not. I'm not giving him money, I never gave him any; not even in the divorce. I swear Fin I didn't and I'm not." She shook her head, she had never considered it and never would; he could support himself as far she cared.

"I know, I know you're not Mel he is stealing and it is going to be taken care of. But we need to take care of it and I am not saying this so that we join our accounts. Mel I want you to use mine for the next little while, they are going to go through your financials." She shook her head, his hand pressed to her cheek and slowly her cheek rested against his chest.

"Mel it's okay, they are going to find inaccuracies and they will find things you probably don't know about. But trust me, Cragen asked for this, they aren't looking at you for hiding money; but they are going to freeze your accounts."

"Don't I have to consent, sign something Fin? They can't just go through everything, Kaylen has school fees, and she couldn't get some finances because of my job…" She took a couple deep breaths, it was mostly okay; they could pick through her accounts; just leave Kaylen's school account alone.

"Mel, trust me don't worry about Kaylen and don't fight it. I'll take care of it okay. We'll make sure she has money and everything is paid for through out it. It may take some time but we will see that it is covered." His hand smoothed her hair but it didn't comfort her.

"I don't need to be taken care of Fin, I don't want to be. Fin I need to deal with this; they have to let me make some sort of arrangement. They can't just shut me out with no reason, if they want to get something out of him; then fine but I'll work with them."

"No, you don't have to do that; will you let me take care of you? I know you don't need it and as soon as it's cleared out you set up however you want." She started shaking her head before he even finished speaking.

"We have the wedding, and I want to contribute and …"

"And you will, Mel, it's okay. I'd like to have you as a co-signer on my accounts as is: I'd like you to be able to use the accounts if you wanted anyways. Its temporary and I've spent more than enough years as a bachelor; please let me be your husband." His hands cupped her cheeks, holding her face from his shoulder; she wanted to curl into him.

"It's not that easy Fin. I want to hold some of my own sanity... I've finally figured out how to do it on my own. It took long enough for me to get through that damn divorce, I took my heart out of the equation for him; years before.

But I didn't go through that alone, I had to put my child through all of it again, no matter how I do this I put my child back in the middle, this is an inconvenience for me, it may screw him over but she's got to make payments on her tuition and residence; I promised her I would take care of that."

She pulled free from his hands, they slid to her knees; his eyes pleaded with her now but she couldn't. "I can take what he throws at me; I'll take anything thrown at me damn it. He can't hurt me anymore; he can haunt my dreams and show up at my work place but every time it goes around Kaylen is involved; her life is tied to ours. Our fighting hurts her, I dealt with it and then I put it behind me; I don't want to dig it all up again.

"I want to get married and I want to be happy and forget. I just want to forget." He saw her fracturing, she was trying to pull away, it was how she had survived her first marriage; it wasn't how he wanted to start their marriage.

She could say she wasn't commitment wary but when she was pushed to the wall; it was true. And no one could blame her, he certainly didn't but he wanted to wrap her in his arms; hold her tight. He wanted to hear it, he needed to hear it; Melinda needed someone.

Tears flowed freely, he reached out to wipe them with his thumbs and she pulled back; it made a small part of him cringed. "Come here Mel."

He held his arms open and waited, it took a moment but she moved towards him and he curled his arms around her. "I'm sorry Fin, I'm sorry; maybe I'm not ready..." She hiccupped softly. "I just don't know, I'm sorry."

He pulled her close, burying his cheek in her hair he laid them back; shifting onto his back. Her head settled on his chest, and he kicked himself; he'd pushed too hard and too fast. He wanted everything to be right and perfect when it never could be; he knew that.

"No Mel, it's not your fault, it's his I just wanted him to be done for you; and I needed to know for sure." He stroked her hair, wishing he could take it all back; he could have just kept his mouth shut and his nose out. "I needed to know but it was your business and yours to tell me; I just didn't think you would."

"I'm sorry Fin, I didn't think I was nervous, I wasn't nervous; this just it's so fast. I thought I took care of him, that…"

"Mel don't, honey you don't have to. I'm sorry I brought it up and dug into it. I was trying to make sure you were safe and I wanted to know things that weren't my business. I can't stop what I've put in motion but let's put it behind us." He stroked her hair, he could feel her chest heaving; he held her close.

"How the hell are we supposed to do that? Fin we are getting married in two weeks." He felt her sigh and knew she was giving up but her temper would burn low for a long time.

"And we are going to figure out how to get through this. I love you Mel and I screwed this up. Can we talk it out?"

"Just shut up for a minute." Her words were slightly muffled and he felt her nuzzle into his chest; he felt a little tension ease out of his body.

Her lip was adorable and reassuring; she could have a bad day and be pissed, if she took it he knew he needed to worry. When her back came up it was okay, her back was up she was ready to fight it out; and take what she wanted.

He felt her relax, she slipped off his hip and her leg slid between his; he liked that. Her head came up and her arms crossed over his chest; he sighed. Her chin rested on her hands and he studied her, knowing she was studying him; he didn't like the tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Okay talk." She smiled slightly and he let his hands slide down to her hips; it was relaxing.

"I'd like to support you, Mel they need to look through your accounts and I'm not saying we need to combine all of our finances but for the time being it is more than okay. Once we sort it out we talk it out and separate and join what we want. I want you to keep your personal account, and have full control of it; but I do want to support you." He spoke softly, watching her eyes carefully; she was taking it in and not so happy.

"I don't have to like it but I don't see that I have much choice. They are going to freeze everything?" She sighed; he knew she was thinking it through.

"Yes Mel they are, they are going to find everything in your name, if it's in Kaylen's it's okay; but I'm hoping she has minimal interests. Hopefully it will be resolved by the time we get back from our honeymoon and if they can manage it he will have to pay back whatever he's taken. Otherwise they will close the hole." One hand stayed on her hip the other reached up to stroke her hair again.

"Kaylen has a checking account and that's it, the savings is in my name and she uses it for school payments. She can withdraw certain amounts daily and weekly for school payments and living expenses. If that one is frozen it complicates her life, all other accounts are fine and any investments I don't care; I'll rely on you."

"Then you will look up the amounts or just give me a number and we will make sure she has the money she needs. You and I will go down the bank in the morning and list you on my accounts; someone will notify you when the accounts are frozen and reopened."

"Fin, that's not fair." She shook her head, and he smiled a little.

"It is fine, Melinda trust me I want to take care of you. We will get through this." He stroked her hair, waiting to see if she would relent; she had a grip on her emotions now.

"What did he tell you?" Her voice was soft, she was sorting through it and he understood that.

"No Mel." But she didn't need to know what he said.

"Yes, I want to know, Fin I know, I know what he thinks of me and I know how he talks when he's drunk. I want to know what he said." Her voice was hard, and he saw the determination in her eyes; but she didn't need to know those things.

A man shouldn't be proud of living off a woman, shouldn't be able to insult her so freely; even if he was drunk. "Mel he was being cruel, he was being cruel because he saw I cared for you. I think some of it was truth, truth you wouldn't have shared with me; but that doesn't mean it needs to be repeated."

"I can tell you one thing he said, among others likely and you need to listen; you've been trying to ask for months. We had sex after I told him I was only staying for Kaylen, I won't be ashamed of it Fin but I also won't say it was pleasurable."

"He raped you."

" No, he was my husband at the time and he was past the point of drunk, there is a difference between saying no and being forced against your will and just letting it go because your drunk is an idiot." He surged up; she stayed braced on his chest but fury burned hot again.

"Mel…."

"No Fin, listen to me you can call it what you like and keep your opinion about it but I've been able to keep my memories under control. Okay not honestly I had it under control until I was alone in bed after I'd seen him; yes I'll tell you that. I had a nightmare, I'm stressed and I don't like being alone in bed; I'll admit to that." Her palm pressed flat against his shoulder and her eyes burned; he knew that had to hurt.

"I'm glad you told me Mel. I still see it as rape and I can understand that you need to put it away; but if you ever want to talk about it. Melinda if you ever need to talk about it or if it starts to bother you, will you…"

"You'll be the first person I talk too, Fin I've made it this far without letting it eat at me and I've done it working alongside you. I promised myself I'd never be a victim and I will live my life; I'm not giving it up now." She smiled softly and he rolled them, holding himself above her he watched her carefully; he wasn't sure if he should.

Her hands slid down his back and she smiled, her knees came up around his hips; he relaxed. "I love you Mel."

"I love you too Fin, I'm sorry this came up and I'm….."

"Ssh Mel, I love you." He grinned as she started to explain again.

"Good luck with that, you know I like this; I think you do too."

"Too bad we're waiting for our honeymoon then isn't it?"


	8. Chapter 8

Things were settling out and Fin was completely happy with that. They were running down leads on a rape and assault and Munch was playing with papers they'd gotten from the victims home. He was working his way through the date book.

"I've got nothing here, anything?" Olivia was restless at her desk, working on the same thing they were; motive.

"Nothing here, pretty good social circle; professional and personal. I've got first names matching to numbers in the back." He flipped the book shut; so far they had a successful young woman trying to finish school and live her life; no motive for being beat within an inch of her life and raped.

Then there never was a good reason for some things, he knew that first hand. Melinda was still dealing with the mess he'd started; they were combing her financials and would be for a while yet. She wasn't happy about having it all ripped apart but she was coping; she'd done nothing wrong.

He knew what she was feeling, and he listened to it; this felt much the same. The girl was in the hospital and they had no suspects, she'd been found in the park by a jogger. They'd thought straight up stranger rape, until they got to her place; trashed. Someone was looking for something, and they hadn't found it.

"I may have something, but I don't know what it is; maybe your girlfriend can take a look." Munch flipped through the notebook.

"My fiancé isn't our personal go to, let me see that." He reached for it, the notebook was beat up but clearly important.

"Going to have to change that to wife in what a week now aren't you, what learned something living with her have you?" Munch rolled his eyes and Fin just shook his head, he wasn't planning to break it down; but he did want to see it. He'd seen some of her reports and some of the lingo was clearer now; and this was that language.

"Fin, he is right, it would help to have her opinion on it; the vic won't be talking anytime soon."

"They are short staffed at the morgue; I don't feel good about dumping more work on just to make our lives easier; I want to know what it is. Besides that she was a student this could just be notes…." He paused recognizing a side note in the margin; different hand writing and a chilling annotation. "Or it might not be hers at all."

"How come?" Olivia was beside his desk in a flash.

"Rushed student, quick notes; look at this. Distinctly different hand writing, which style looks more feminine to you?" He pointed out the note.

"Good point, what is this? It looks almost like a chart…"

"Or patient record, some of these are longer than others and others end with test terminated. Mel might be able to help with this but it might be bigger than that; we don't know where it came from for sure." He flipped to the next page, there were stats and comments; no names.

"It's already been printed, we get any prints not belonging to the vic we may have a better idea who had it before her." Munch had leaned over his other side, the rookies both eyed them; sometimes the years the three had worked together showed. "Time to pay your wife a visit."

Fin rolled his eyes and pushed his chair back, missing his partner's foot by an inch; the man could be a real pain in the ass. He hoped it wasn't a busy day for the medical examiner's office; maybe Melinda would have time to scan it at work. He knew if he asked she would finish it, no matter how long it took; and he'd have to spend the night with it.

Munch joined him for the ride, Olivia took Rollins back to the vic's place to see if there was anything else hidden. They passed the first floor down to the morgue, two of the techs stood on either side of a gurney; his heart clenched.

He heard Munch utter a soft curse; he recognized the scrub and his blood ran cold. Crossing the room quickly he grabbed the man's arm. "What the hell?"

"Whoa, wha…. Fin..." The guy stepped back quickly as he looked down at Melinda.

She pushed herself up as the other woman covered a laugh quickly; he looked between the three confused. "Relax Fin, it's a guarded blade, we are prepping him for the pathologist exam. We don't have a case from you guys?"

"No, we have a vic in the hospital; got something interesting from the home." Munch cut in as he looked at the scene; he was amused too.

"Mel, can I talk to you for a moment?" Fin swallowed hard, still struggling from the moment of fear. He'd recognized her; he hadn't needed to see her face to be afraid; he didn't want logic.

She nodded and pushed herself down the table, and jumped off easily. Melinda knew he was concerned, though company found it funny and she did too; a little bit. Then she didn't blame him, even if it was innocent enough. She shut the office door behind him, he turned to look at her; there was still a shadow of shock in his eyes.

"Mel, what was that?" He gestured towards the open room.

"We need another medical examiner certified to autopsy, the higher ups haven't found anyone yet so we are going to promote within. Josh is eligible to take the exam and then work under me. He could do exams, the first fifteen would have to be supervised but after that I simply need to sign off; we need the help." She leaned against her desk as he stepped in close; his hand grazed her hip.

"And you were lying on a slab because?"

"Because I want him to be good at his job, he needs to be neat and he needs to understand the danger of pressure. I know when he is using the right pressure or being too heavy handed; pressure has to be varied over bone and soft tissue." She explained calmly, stroking his hand gently.

"So use a dead body, I get that you need help but…"

"But I can't just request a cadaver that costs money; and I can only tell a mistake after its been made. This is how I was taught, my mentor made me do numerous procedures before I even did them on a living person; which is again different from an autopsy.

"This is how I learned and how I teach, I want a good pathologist to work with. He takes some of the work under shoulders, that's great but I want it to be good and clean. He's not hurting me, it does no harm and reminds him of a respect; it's nothing Fin." She met his eyes, slowly drawing him closer she leaned up; pressing her lips softly against his.

"Okay, okay we can talk about it at home; I just have a problem with seeing my wife on a slab." He pulled back, she looked at him for a moment and he pressed his lips to hers once more before stepping back. "We really do have something for you to look at, maybe you could put it before your teaching thing; girl who had it is in a coma."

"I I'll look at it but can I have some time? I'd like to finish this too; I've got Angela to help me for today. He has to challenge the exam and I want him to get it, he's worked with me for years and he'd be good at the job; the money would help him too; he has a wife and several kids." She knew Josh, and he was a good kid and smart too; he'd finished school early to take care of his family.

"Please put this first Mel, we need to move on it." He handed over a note book, silently she flipped it open. "It's already been dusted for prints."

"Alright, I can tell you right now it is a patient record, some sort of tests are being performed, vitals are being recorded during procedures; it could be some kind of clinical study." She read through the first page, the procedures weren't detailed; but they had significant impact on the patients. "Procedures aren't documented but they threw the patients into a hypotensive state if these records are accurate. It could be drugs, or possibly a reaction to trauma."

"Or torture, you look at it and decide; we think two people had this book. The vic is in bad shape." She nodded and kept reading.

"I don't have a body Fin I can't speak to that one way or another unless I can figure out what caused the reactions. If I can determine what all the vitals are, what monitoring devices were used; there may be a chance I can come up with possible situations. No promises." This would take some time, and if they needed in fast she needed to put it first; a life was attached to this.

"I'll take it; call me when you have anything; sorry to bug you." He looked a little sheepish as he left and she grinned following him out into the autopsy bay.

"You don't bug me Fin, I'll let you know." She stepped around him moving to speak to Josh and Angela; Josh would be disappointed.

Munch stood with them; the three were talking freely; Fin tugged at his partner. She sent Josh to work on clean up and Angela followed her back into the office. Two years after she had taken over as chief medical examiner for dayshift Angela had been her intern.

"What did you get?" Angela leaned against her desk; the young woman was now a medical examiner upstate. She smiled a little at the bright woman, it had been several years since Angela had gotten her position; they didn't see each other often but had worked together long enough.

"The detectives have a victim in the hospital and this was in her possession; it's a medical record of some kind. These aren't continuous; I'm going to have to break them apart to isolate how many patients were in this. It's going to take some time."

"Want some help?" Melinda looked up at the young woman, they didn't know what they would be getting into; it would save some time.

"I don't know what it is or how bad it is. If you want to help let's start isolating cases."

"Fair enough I'll take even you go odd." Angela dragged the chair around the desk and Melinda slid over so they could share the desk.

They worked in silence for the next several hours, she wasn't sure what she was looking at but it was coming together; it wasn't pretty. The farther they got, and the entries got timed; not much time between some.

"I don't know that I want to know what this is." Angela leaned back and stretched, she looked over; they had moved page by page through most of the book. "Ideas?"

"I don't like any of the options; I better let SVU know."

"You are talking about your fiancé's unit; isn't he going to be your husband in what a week?"

"He will be my husband but I try to maintain professionalism in the office; not to mention he isn't working alone on this." Melinda sighed, rereading her own notes absently, it was nagging the back of her mind; but she couldn't pull it out.

"So professional, I'm your friend. C'mon where is he taking you for the honeymoon again?" Angela stood, rounding the desk; she was stiff too.

"Tropics, yes I'm excited; but that's not your business."

"No, it's not but I doubt he's going to let you out of the room."

"My business, not yours. Any serious thoughts on this?" She knew Angela was smart, but had been focused to long; she needed an opinion.

"Some freak is sick and that is torture, if not its some seriously sick deal. Nothing changes the heart rate that much in the space of a couple hours other than serious pain or drugs. Ten patients, starting group eight, two terminated and two added. Two we have nothing more than a basic on; I don't know." Angela circled the desk again.

"Almost has to be both, but we don't even have gender or baseline. We don't know what normal stats are for these people. We don't know what these stats are from, or that they're accurate. No MD took these, there's rate but not rhythm or regularity.

"A nurse's aide knows that, Melinda is there anything in there that says what any of that is? A body doesn't just do that, it's sadistic. If a professional was doing that we'd have more monitoring equipment and a drug cocktail; I wouldn't keep someone conscious through it."

"I wouldn't either, but I see no purpose to it, either there is no goal or just a limit to push; human tolerance? I don't know but something is there; I can't figure out what it is."

"What would cause a blood pressure to change that drastically in ten minutes?"

"Shock, drugs; any combination of the two." They weren't getting anywhere, she'd let SVU take what they had and keep playing it through in her head; it would fit eventually. "I get a body, and I can tell if the body was put through this."

"You've got to call your fiancé and I'm going to keep working on this; you've got a post to do." Angela rounded the desk again and dropped down beside her.

"I'll put the call through to Fin and then do my post; they'll probably come down. Pull me out of the post if you need to." Melinda sighed and pushed herself up, stretching; her body cracked and popped angrily.

She left a voice mail for Fin and headed into the post, it was routine; un-witnessed deaths had to be investigated. Melinda fell into a comfortable routine of work in the back autopsy bay, it was well ventilated; the body hadn't been found for a couple days.

Munch led the way back to Melinda's office, Fin trailed behind; Josh was working in the front at the intern's desk. Melinda wasn't in her office but Angela was, he didn't know who she was but he was curious.

"Where's Melinda?" Munch craned his neck to see the papers she was working on, Fin stepped up to the desk; he knew Melinda's handwriting.

"In back doing a post; it's a bloater; it stinks. She was working on this for a while, we both were. If you bring her a body she will be able to tell you if the body was put through this stress." The young woman offered them the notebook. "We've copied this out separated for patients. We will both look through our Jane Does, for the past couple years."

"And you would look through Jane Does because?" Munch raised his eyebrows.

"Her responsibilities end where mine begin; I'm the medical examiner for the next region north; Melinda helped me get my position. I used to work for her and trained here; I was her intern for a couple years." Angela smiled softly, spreading the sheets out over the desk.

"Opinions?" Fin asked, he had other questions.

"It's screwed up, shock or trauma could cause these results but will have serious and permanent effects on the body; we will be able to tell if the body was put through this; serious strain will be put on the heart and other organs. If the subject survived an ECG will show certain signs; Melinda can probably explain it better." Angela explained calmly, pushing back her stray bangs.

"You're young for a doctor?"

"I'm nearly thirty; barely ten years younger than Melinda; was I a work student before I was an intern. I took a two year undergrad and then interned for the summers and got her recommendation into physician's aid program.

"As a doctor she was willing to take me as an assistant for a certain number of hours; I then took several courses. And challenged the pathologist exam, I can conduct an exam but my work is reviewed and signed off on by my boss; chief medical examiner. I don't make quite the money a doctor does but it is good and the work is interesting; easier than being a doctor." Angela explained calmly.

"So you're not a doctor? But it still took you what, eight years to get through school?"

"No, it was five years of school and a couple thousand hours of work experience; I graduated high school early; mostly to get out of there. It's a pretty cool deal, Melinda helped a lot, and you have to have a good mentor to do it."

"I remember you, darker hair and a lot quieter, you left what five years ago? I stopped seeing you around." Munch replied, Fin just listened.

"I actually got part time here, nights and weekends; it worked until a full time position came up. Then I transferred, it was a little better job and I don't exactly have ties here, I came out of the foster system; moving made sense for me."

"Five years of school is expensive for a kid."

"I had help Detective Munch, is my education the only thing you are concerned with?" The young woman's chin tilted up defiantly.

"I think I'll make some calls and let our squad know the helpful details you found for us." Munch turned and left, he didn't move.

"Angela I've got some questions for you, you trained with Melinda?"

"She'd been here about six or seven years already, been chief for about two years. I was eighteen when I started my undergrad, the first summer I interned in documents and second Melinda took me into the morgue. It was weird at first but I got used to it; she made it easier. You two are getting hitched?" Angela relaxed a little in the chair; he pulled the other around the desk and sat across from her.

"Yes we are, in a week; it's private. Not trying to be rude." He cringed; their choice was going to be hard for some people.

"I'm not saying that you are, I think it's your right. And she cares a lot about you; I've no problem with that."

"Did she train you the same way she's training Josh? With a scalpel?"

"That's bothering you?" Angela laughed, and he eyed her slightly. "There's a reason she's been chief here as long as she has; she's good at what she does and has been recognized for it. She just doesn't publicize it, her commendations and articles go in a drawer; not on her wall.

"She trained me the same way she was trained by a physician in the air force who was a friend and prepped her through her residency. She'd be a good surgeon if she wanted it, she has a steady hand because she was trained to pressure; it makes a difference." Angela leaned forward, he nodded; she seemed serious.

"How?"

"I get that it bothers you to see her on a table and conscious with a kid holding a scalpel; can't blame you. The thing is it takes years to hone your skills on manikins and cadavers before working on a living person because of the risk of damaging underlying tissues.

"Working on corpses you could say it doesn't matter but it would be freaky to screw up. I told her I wanted to learn to cut, but I was afraid to cut open a human being; she understood that. She told me I could stay as a physician's aid, it was good money and really interesting; but I wanted to do more."

"It has to be normal to be nervous about cutting on someone." He could already see Melinda in that, she was good with people; understanding them.

"It would be weirder not to be, I was a kid; I don't think I was twenty three yet. She said if I wanted to learn she'd teach me. I took my time deciding and she let me do more and more in exams until I did want to try it.

"Still a chicken I did all the book work first, I was expecting to be tossed onto a dead body; there's a difference between handling a body and cutting it. Told her I was ready and she said we needed to clear the day first, we did and she told me I could start; she jumped up on the table. I just about died." Her hands went to her face as she shook her head laughing.

"She handed me a scalpel with a guard on it and told me to make a y-incision. My hands shook so bad, I wouldn't be surprised if I bruised her; did it like fifty times. Once I could actually do it with steady hands she started correcting me on pressure and control. Cutting is the hardest part for me, especially when stuff was messy.

"It may sound crazy but when it got hard and I was confused I could go back to that. Melinda could be there telling me what to do and I wasn't cutting for real in a sense, it was a friend who guided me through what to do; until I got past it." Angela's face had gone red, and he knew it had been effective; even if it was strange.

"I can get that, but I don't like seeing her on that table; I just needed to know she has control of it." He would discuss it later with her, but it helped to know she wasn't trying something new.

"Fair enough, we do a strange job sometimes."

"So do I." He smiled as he stood. "Tell Mel to call me when she's done."

"Will do." Fin watched her turn back to the notes on the desk as he walked up to meet Munch.

His partner watched him return to the car, he slid into the passenger seat. He studied the other man for a moment as they pulled into traffic. "Get anything from Melinda's assistant?"

"That wasn't what I wanted to know about, anything from the lab?" He redirected easily.

"Not really, this may be a long case." Munch sighed as they headed back to the precinct. Fin sighed, he was right and this case could be miserable. He could easily end up walking away partway through this case and taking their medical connection with him.

She beat him home, and was happy to step into the shower. Melinda wrapped herself in a towel and walked through the house, she had to work out the end of the week and then had Friday off; the first of twelve days.

Her wedding was Saturday, it was coming up fast and she was nervous; and excited. That meant this case would go down a couple people; she needed to put in her time on this. Spreading the notes over the table she lined them up again.

The front door opened and she heard Fin come in, he went upstairs and she went back to the notes. She lined up each procedure, the levels changed with the stimulation in the same patterns. The patterns held the same for each case causing the same disruption in the vitals for each patient; including the latter two.

She glanced up as he came into the kitchen, saw his smirk and rolled her eyes before going back to the papers. His hand rubbed against her back as he leaned down over her, a shot of pleasure shot through her; Saturday wasn't going to come fast enough.

His cheek pressed to her hair as he looked over her shoulder. "I was afraid this would come home with you."

"Some things need to, Fin this is weird." She sighed and leaned back into his shoulder.

"The case is weird and so was something I saw today. Leave it alone for now; want to join me for a bit?" His hands slid down under her towel, pulling her up; she snatched at it to keep it up.

"Fin." She braced herself as she was pulled out of the chair.

"C'mon Mel, don't bring work home was your rule; breaking them now are you?" He taunted.

"There may be lives on the line on this, I don't bring home paperwork for my job; this is a consult. My boyfriend and his colleagues asked me to do a favor." She let herself be guided up the stairs and into their bedroom; she grinned as he pushed her forward onto the bed.

He lowered himself beside her as she rolled, his hand snugged her into his side before starting to pull open her towel; she stopped him. "Hey, no we are waiting…"

"Horny are you Mel?" His eyes teased her as his hand skated down her side; the problem was he was right.

"I'm allowed. And you want?" She eyed him playfully; right now she wouldn't be overly bothered if they broke that agreement.

He eyed her silently and he flipped open her towel defiantly. She watched as his fingers traced up her body then one moved in a smooth motion, collarbone to sternum and across the other and down; she recognized the motion. "It doesn't bother you?"

"That did, you could have just asked Fin." She spoke softly and trapped his hand. "It bothers me a little more when I'm nude in my own bed. You have to trust me Fin."

"It's not trust Mel, I trust you and I love you; I want you to explain it to me. I really don't like surprises in the morgue, like my wife lying on a slab; even if you are comfortable there." His hand splayed over her belly.

She sighed and covered his hand gently with her own. "When I was in the air force my mentor helped prep me for med school and residency, she was on deployment when I got into the heavier parts. I watched a number of class mates drop out when we moved to cadavers.

"The time I spent fooling around with a base physician during my own placement helped get me through that; it nearly halved our class. Lots of people have the brain for med school but not the stomach and there is a difference between seeing it and doing it. I used the same methods that helped me to help Angela and Josh as well."

"Okay Mel but why not use the guarded scalpel deal on a cadaver?"

"Pressure." She sighed. "Fin the pressure matters, the person who can cut on another easily should be put in jail; you have to tell yourself something the first times. Can I show you? I'll explain it but it'll go over your head."

"Insulting me doesn't help. But please."

"I'm not insulting you, but in one incision take a blade over different underlying tissues, and differ person to person. Some people have more body fat than others, men and women; different places. What you forget is when I was in training I lay on my back to; was shown what proper pressure felt like, trust me you don't forget. I make them do the same thing. "Melinda paused, she didn't it was something that she had compared her own work to for years. Dr. Julie Terrance had helped teach her when she was a kid; trying to do something she felt strongly enough and study hard enough to get a job that made a difference.

She had taught both Angela and Josh in the morgue, where she had control. She'd been taught on in the base hospital and the field, she'd had help whenever there had been enough down time. " You start on your y at the top, if your over superficial bone, like the breast bone your up to high you want to be over a fat or muscle pocket and with your first incision you only want to go through the skin; you separate deeper layers after.

"If you cut through them first in your y you may damage tissue that has answers or has been compromised by trauma, disease that should be analyzed and documented. You can start up higher if you want but then when they get to the mortician there is much more work to be done in hiding the exam; something families shouldn't have to see. Try it, as if you were holding a knife."

Fin eyed her for a moment before cooperating his fingers pressed to her shoulder and she lowered it; he started far too high. He pressed it firmly and brought it down, across to her sternum. "See you are pressing to hard already, a scalpel is slightly curved; once you've hooked it under the skin you really don't need pressure. Imagine if you used that pressure with a blade; you'd cut through underlying fat or muscle. Here." She took his hand and guided him across the other upper branch.

"Alright, not what I would have thought but still Mel."

"Bring it down to the pelvic arch." She knew the truth of it, he brought the incision down to just south of her belly; she guided him down to her pelvis. "Everyone starts out uncomfortable but done as a smooth movement it is easier and cleaner."

His hand came up and cupped her side, she waited for his response. "I get it Mel, it takes practise and having your teacher guide you through it help. It's just not for me."

"I know that, and I won't lie I prefer having my clothes on; sharp things or imitations aren't part of my fantasies. When your mentor trusts you enough to be willing to let you demonstrate on them it gives confidence; even if it is with a dummy blade. Not to mention you are very careful in how you touch them, it makes you hyper aware of a situation; and when you put it into practise it's what you think back to."

"You don't think back to the class where the teacher tells you to have a light hand, but to a person you respect showing you what it's like to do it; even if it is over cloth. I get it Mel, easy enough to get; how come Angela is down here?" He spoke softly, Melinda fixed her towel; he slid his hand over her breast.

"She is going to cover for me while I'm on vacation; they need some help on days. I'm happy she's back early, she is a good kid and got a rough start; she's made something of herself. Angela started out young and was determined, she was eighteen her first summer at the morgue; she seemed incredibly young."

"Claims she's only ten years younger than you." Fin grinned, nuzzling her cheek.

Melinda laughed, the girl had been kind. "More like fifteen, what she's twenty eight, no nine; twenty nine. So more like sixteen, uhg I feel old."

Fin just grinned and leaned in to kiss her. "Younger than me and still beautiful; we are going to have a baby; you can't be that old."

"That isn`t guaranteed Fin, it may not happen; hasn`t yet.`` She stroked his shoulder, she didn`t want to shut him down but things were not in their favor.

``Positive thinking only Mel, we`ll make that baby and then we`ll raise it and love it.`` He leaned down and pressed his lips to her cheek, she held him there a moment. She kept her eyes close and just rested with him for a moment; his hand shifted, weaselling under her towel again.

``Fin please don`t tempt me." She stopped his hand even as he started to knead her breast; it felt good.

``Hyperaware aren`t you, you know how good you feel; gonna leave me to my fantasies another week are you? Maybe I better share, me, you I'm going to put your knee over my shoulder and lap at you until your jelly." His hand didn't stop rolling her breast, tweaking the nipple; she closed her eyes and squeezed her thighs together.

"Mhm, yea, you jelly and I'm going to press your legs open; you love being eaten out don't you babe? I'm not even going to take you, just lick, maybe use my fingers but you are so delicious. Maybe then we'll make love slowly, see how long we can go?" She gasped as he pinched her nipple a little.

"You have to tease me?" Melinda squirmed a little, feeling the moisture seeping from herself; she wanted to tell him to take her.

"Oh baby I so do, you are so delicious; and soft. I could eat you forever, maybe I'll have a snack after; have a taste of both of us." She sighed as he spoke; she was going to get off just listening to his voice. "Yea, I know how good you taste and feel; both of us together I'll give you a taste. Trust me babe you have no idea how good you are, so tight you stretch around me; I can feel every ring of muscle wrap around me. Damn Mel."

"Fin." She growled, her body was betraying her and she wanted him badly, to feel him slide slowly into her.

"Share Mel, tell me your fantasies babe; what do you want? Want me to lick you, or…"

"How about pound me?" She moaned her breathing hitched; his body was good. "Take me when I wake up, don't prep me just have me; fill me up. Hard and slow; as long as we can go; over and over till we're both dead. I'll take you all day."

"You gotta be careful Mel or I'll kill you; your body is so perfect. I could take you forever, over and over. Your wet aren't you?" His hand trailed down her body, easing towards her core; she trembled.

"You know I am, Fin..." She sighed as his hand slid over her; finding her.

He groaned and his head fell against her chest. "Mel."

His hips arched against her side and she felt him; a single week had made her a horn dog. "Fin please, c'mhere; I want you so bad."

His hand stopped, and slid away; she groaned furiously. Her body was wound tight, she wanted him and was more than ready; he stopped. "No Mel, we gotta stop; we're going to wait; wait for each other."

"That's fine for you; you're not getting stroked and prepped." She sighed, a sweet idea coming to mine. "I'll just have to take care of myself now."

He whimpered it startled her for a moment, enough to make her hand pause; her name was more than enough encouragement. "Mel."

She trailed her fingers over her hips, self-stimulation wasn't something she did very often; especially not since Fin had moved in. He had pushed himself up, she knew he was waiting to see if she was serious and a part of her was dead serious. "I'm so ready Fin, last chance."

"I want to watch." Her heart tightened as he gripped her hips, she was swung around as he eased down the bed; bending her knees. "Please Mel."

She watched him as he rocked back, his gaze intent on her; her fingers slid down between her lips. Sliding into her core she whimpered, her body was tight and ready; moisture flooded around her. Even as her fingers moved quickly in and out she explored her own body. Twisting her fingers she sighed, it wasn't what she wanted but it was doing the job.

Rubbing a finger over her clit she raised her eyes to look at Fin, his hand was trembling and she knew he wanted more; she wanted more too. His eyes rose for a moment and met hers. "That's hot Mel, so hot."

"I want more Fin, help me?" Slipping her fingers back in she arched her hips up to meet her own need. Leaning her head back she ground against herself; needing more.

"Babe, I won't stop; we're going to wait; have to wait." She heard his breathing hitch and the desire in his voice; she groaned angrily bringing her hips up roughly. "Taste yourself."

She froze, it was one thing to swallow when she went down on Fin; it was another to taste her own juices. It wasn't something she'd ever done, lifting her head a little she saw his eyes; he was still intent on her; and he knew it. It was her out. "I will if you fuck me."

"Mel." She slid her fingers in deep, her body begged for more; she didn't want to be strung out any longer. "I can't, taste yourself please. I want to see you do it."

Melinda whimpered and shook even as her fingers slid out, she wanted this more; pushing herself up on an elbow she raised them to her lips. Sliding them in she gulped hard, she tasted strange; oddly sweet. Sucking them between her lips she watched him; he swallowed hard. "Fuck me."

He stared at her for a moment and she lay back ready for him to take her; her legs falling open eagerly. "Open yourself Mel, you don't know how to touch yourself; get off."

His breathing was rough and closer, she whimpered as he denied her; she opened her eyes to him. He sat alongside her hip and reached out for her knees pressing her wider and took her hand. Guiding it to her he repeated himself; she was ready to cry.

"Hold yourself open Mel, c'mon I'm not going to do this for you; you don't know how badly I want to." She whimpered and pulled her lips open, cool air rolling over her; she whimpered again. "Good girl, other hand now; stroke yourself; find out how you like it. I know how you like it."

Trembling she brought the other hand down and rubbed herself roughly, pushing at her entrance." No Mel, not yet."

"Ung, please Fin, please; I know you want to." She squirmed and ran her hand over her flesh; her thighs shook.

"No Mel, you're ready; and you worked for it baby." His hands slipped holding her knees open; she groaned and slid her fingers back into herself; her hips rolling up to the intrusion.

She pumped herself hard and crashed; fluid rushing around her fingers. She rolled into him, her body trembling as his lips found hers; his hand slid through her hair. She broke off to breathe, her chest heaving as he pressed kisses to her pulse.

"That is the hottest thing I've ever seen." He whispered, she looked up at him, he'd eased up on an elbow; his eyes ravenous. She'd never felt as vulnerable as she did now, or as erotic; he was devouring her openly. "I'll wait five days for you but damn; I want to see that again."

"I can't Fin, I really can't."

"You can and you will, not now; not tonight but I know you can go farther. You liked that didn't you? It felt good baby, you hadn't done it before?" He stroked her cheek, she swallowed hard.

"It felt really good, but it was hard; I like it with you more." She smiled as he leaned in, their lips met for a moment and she eased her hand down. "Need some help? I'm not as cruel as you are."

"You already took care of me baby; so good." He rolled them and she snuggled into his chest; it was good.


	9. Chapter 9

It was a frustrating week, their victim had slipped into a coma and the case was stalled. His wedding was hours away and his mind wasn't on it; it was on his wife to be. The case irritated him but it was his, his squad was going to close it; he'd dumped it on her.

She brought home those notes every night and pored over them; it was eating at her. And he hated it, Melinda couldn't find the answers she wanted; then they had nothing new in weeks. She'd been off all day today but he knew she had been working on the notes all day; same as yesterday.

He'd been banned from the upper level of the house, Kaylen too, Melinda was getting ready alone. His son, and his son's boyfriend were in the den with Kaylen; he was too restless to sit still. He wandered through the kitchen, Melinda had it set up for the barbeque; more stuff he wasn't supposed to touch yet.

Then there were her notes again, tucked out of the way; under her purse. With a sigh he pulled them out, he could see her frustration in them; but there were connections. She had condensed them and then realigned them; he flipped through.

He felt bad about pulling her away from it, if anything happened neither of them was reachable. Yet he wanted their time together; he was looking forward to signing the papers; and hearing her name change. He'd truly hold her, as his wife. Turning the ring on his finger he smiled a little.

Her stomach lurched a little as she took the stairs down to the main level, she heard Kaylen's squeal and closed her eyes; her daughter stood a chance of waking the dead. A touch glanced over her arm and she opened her eyes to fin.

He looked really good in his suit, and Kaylen bounced behind his shoulder; his eyes rolled and she laughed. Taking his hand she let her body mold to his as he kissed her cheek. "Ready?"

Lacing her arms around his neck she leaned back and smiled; his hands rested on her hips. "Yeah, I am."

"Good, then you can both do pictures before we go." Kaylen was practically jumping off the walls, Ken and Alejandro stood behind her looking slightly uncomfortable.

"You can take a couple and then we are going; a few Kay." She reminded her daughter, they wanted one nice wedding photo; her daughter might easily go overboard.

"Fine, but Ken has to keep Springer out of the way. And I'll take as many as I want."

"Just do what she wants Mel, its okay; Donnelley will wait for us. You are all dressed up; I want some shots just of her Kaylen."

"No problem." Kaylen grinned and bounced towards the yard, she shot him a look; he'd hung her out to dry.

It was two hours later that she was free from other people being happy for her; she was holding her husband's hand. They curled together in the back of the car, she was happy for herself; it had been a long time coming.

He turned their hands and she looked down; he twisted the ring on her finger. She looked up at him for a moment before leaning her cheek against his shoulder; he looked good in the suit. "You're quiet Mel."

"I'm happy and basking in it."

Fin just smiled, Melinda liked to be quiet some times and he was happy to leave her to it. She looked stunning in the dress, ankle length it was silky and slipped off one shoulder; fitting tightly over her torso. It accented every part of her, he was glad she was his; and proud of her.

The morning passed quickly, he was allowed to help her out of the dress, but had his hands smacked when he tried for a little more. She looked so good, her skin a creamy dark contrast to the white dress that hung open to a v of smooth flesh.

He knew how sweet it was and also knew he had to wait; not that he wanted to; and was willing to try again. Fin slid his hands into the low end of the zipper pushing it wider as his hands cupped her hips. "We've got time for a quickie."

"Fin. I've got to get food ready; and our kids are downstairs." She protested and he pulled her back against his hips.

"Mel, I want you; I want to have my wife." He nuzzled her neck and found a sweet spot to nip; feeling her back arch. "They'll stay downstairs and food will wait. C'mon baby."

His hand slid easily up her sides, the sweet smooth curves he pushed the dress from her; she slinked her arms out and tried to spin. He caught her firmly and pushed the dress to her waist. "Fin."

Sliding his hand between her thighs he pulled her up; her arms swung frantically for a moment. Shoving the dress down he watched it pool around her ankles; still more fabric between him and her core. "Why do you need so many clothes?"

"You've still got a few on too." She was still trying to turn but the view was far too nice; he pressed her to the bed; his hips to hers.

He saw her hands plant to push herself up; he caught the edge of her panties and pulled them down; unbuckling his own pants. He shoved them down and freed himself, his body was so ready and he pressed against her; letting her feel the need.

Fin flipped her over and groaned as her thighs fell open; she reached up to him. Catching her hand he laced his fingers with hers and guided it to his shoulder; his free hand slid down to her hip. "You want me to take you without petting you?"

He looked into her eyes, studying her for any sign of fear, he knew what it would be and couldn't wait for it; but he wouldn't hurt her. "Yes Fin."

Pressing his free hand to her tail bone he drew her closer and they both watched as he slid between her folds. She was damp, warm but not as he usually had her; she hadn't found a release. The head nested against her entrance and they both watched; her hands clenching his shoulders.

He pressed slowly forward, watching her, her face as she took him in; her jaw slacked slightly in pleasure until her head tipped back. He looked back between them; he could go farther yet. Holding her steady he heard the low purr starting in her throat, it rolled into a yelp as he found home.

It was pure bliss, he swallowed hard to keep from pushing his hips against hers; her nails bit his flesh. Still he looked at her, watching as her chest heaved and she looked down; their hips joined. And then back up; her chin jutted up and he leaned down to savor a kiss.

She pulled back first, he knew what she needed; he leaned forward as she eased back onto her elbows. His arms brushed her shoulders as he braced his body above hers; their chests pressed together. He slipped free and pushed back in, her body seemed even tighter than before as he pounded into her.

"Mel." He whispered her name as her shoulders gave and she fell back with a rough moan. His control was slipping as she writhed, pushing up he gripped her hips.

Watching her, watching her was erotic; always erotic. She bit her lip even as her breasts bounced from the force pounding into her. Her body was beautiful and he stroked down her; she moaned. He looked down to where they were joined as his hips slid back and then forward again; his body impaling her.

It was fast and furious, she went up and he watched, her body welcomed him and he took all she had. It was tight and hard, he filled her past what she needed; she tasted blood as she tried not to scream. Her body crashed as she felt his release within her, he collapsed against her and she held him close.

"Are you okay Mel?" His voice was soft as he pushed himself away; she should have known he'd worry.

"Better than, I like that." She did, it hurt at first but it was good, she felt so good as her body spread open around him. "I love you Fin."

"I love you too Mel, I just want to stay here." She smiled as he stroked her hair and held her close.

"We gotta get up." Melinda didn't want to move either, but she did need to get things ready; pulling free she sat up and picked the dress off the floor.

She hung the dress in the closet and dressed, she was just pulling her shirt down when his hand rubbed up her back. "Fin, c'mon I've got to cook."

He smiled over her shoulder and she shrunk as he kissed her neck. "I know."

Melinda shrugged away and kissed him gently; she did love him. Downstairs she lost track of him, the house filled steadily with people, Fin started on the grill and then Ken kicked him off; her kitchen filled with friends.

Olivia helped with salad and Kaylen organized veggies; when her daughter went out to the porch the detective moved. "So Melinda, when are you guys leaving?"

"Tomorrow, for a week; it will be nice." She smiled, it would be and it would be private.

"Sounds good, leaving Kaylen to the house?"

"No Ken is taking Springer and we're locking up; Kaylen is going back to school. I need my girl to pay attention to school; she loves distractions. She had a field day with photos and I don't want to know what I'd come home to if I left her free reign."

"She took your photos? Melinda she's happy for you, and so am I." Olivia smiled and turned away.

"Thanks." She also knew it had hurt Olivia when they had announced their relationship. They had worked together a long time and been friends all of it.

"You need the break, especially now; take it and enjoy it." She nodded and hugged her friend, watching people settling around the yard; their friends were a mix.

Cops stood with the interns and her kid harassed Fin's son, they were friends and family. Some of them knew the horror that the world could throw and still the young ones had their innocence; right now it didn't matter. No one was working and no one was bound by law or oath; they stood together having a good time.

This was something she enjoyed, as people ate and joked she found Fin. His arm slid around her back and his hand tucked into her back pocket; she smiled. Fin was talking to a couple of friends from his old squad.

She stood with them and watched people, it was an interesting way to pass time. Angela stood with Olivia, Kaylen bounced between the two; still a ball of energy even if she was too old to be. Ken stood with his boyfriend and Munch; that was a conversation she didn't want to know about.

He circled with Melinda tucked under his arm, it was nice to hold her close; the one time he did let her go Munch caught him. His partner was always a loud mouth and a couple beers hadn't helped; it was probably the only version of congratulations he knew.

He hadn't expected it quite as bad as he got though. "You look satisfied, nail her yet?"

"None of your business." He rolled his eyes as they both followed Melinda and Olivia starting to clear up.

"You're married and I'm sure you're supposed to be thinking about sex, but then I'm sure you haven't waited to consummate your vows." Munch rolled his eyes and Fin just sighed; moving for a stack of plates. "She already has you trained doesn't she, helping with the dishes."

"I'm just helping out; it's part of a relationship."

"I'm sure she loves it, you're just hoping to get lucky; and then you've got a week to do that." Munch rolled his eyes, and Fin just brushed it off.

Fin didn't warrant that with a response but took the dishes to Melinda and let his partner refocus on Kaylen who relaxed into a chair near him. He hovered near Melinda, maybe he was whipped but that didn't bother him; he liked helping her out.

Ken took off with Alejandro and Springer, Kaylen tried harassing her mother about photos; he wanted to see them but wanted Melinda alone more. Kaylen left after promising to have them printed and edited by the time they got back.

He saw her out and found Melinda in the kitchen, she looked exhausted. He stepped close to her and offered his arms, she stepped close her hands resting on his wrists for a moment they just looked at each other; and then she curled against him.

"Is the pet show over?" Melinda joked as she snuggled against his chest; he just stroked her hair.

"Yeah, I'm done showing you off for tonight; I want to keep you all to myself." He ran his hands through her hair and down her back; he wanted to be alone with her.

"Do I get to keep you?"

"You're stuck with me babe." He grinned as her hands slipped into his belt; one hand stopped her easily and she glanced up.

"How come I never get to take care of you?"

"Because you do, trust me you do Melinda I want to take care of you. Trust me I have plans for you." He slipped a hand under her shirt. "So many plans."

"Fin, I want to, you like it?" He swallowed hard as she looked up at him; her hands on his belt. He liked it, but he knew finding his own release first brought him to close to the edge; he didn't want to be rough with her.

"I want this to be special for you, Mel." He stroked her cheek, looking into her eyes; hoping she wouldn't push the issue. He wanted to take time with her, enjoy her; he found pleasure with her.

"Neither of us is a virgin, its special because it's us; Fin just give me a straight answer."

"Melinda I love you, I'm not trying to give you a run around I just want you to be happy to enjoy this. I want you to be happy and I like what you do but I'd rather touch you. Will you let me show you?" For a long moment she just stared back at him.

She didn't respond, and he found her hips and tugged her towards the stairs. He let her be quiet and took her in, guiding her to their bed room. "Mel I like to look at you and touch you; trust me it is as good being touched. Let me look at you."

"Fin I just like to reciprocate a little." She slipped his belt, and he let her tug down his jeans before stripping away her top.

"Trust me baby taking me is more than enough, you give me the choice of your pussy or your mouth; you know what I'll take." He wanted to take her, to spend time savoring her; see how far she could go. He pulled off her pants, kneeling to help her step out of them and standing slowly; she was good to look at.

Pressing her back to the bed he stroked her cheek, he felt her tensing beneath him and she squirmed; they flipped and she pinned him. Her eyes glinted and she pressed against his hips before her hands slid over his shoulders and she eased down; he grabbed her shoulders. "Why choose when you can have both? Or all three?"

"Mel." He groaned as one hand stroked him eagerly. "I had plans for you, later honey."

She glanced up and he pulled on her a little. "No."

He groaned as her hand slid around to his balls; her lips closed over him and he bucked up slowly as she took him deep. One hand curled the sheets as the other knotted in her hair, he tried hard to control himself but she moved quickly.

She set the pace, he liked to take control of her and she liked that but watching him loose it was powerful. Feeling him arching up to her she braced her hands on either side of his hips; he slipped deep enough to make her gag.

"Uh, Mel; to soon babe; I gotta stop." He groaned and pressed deeply into her throat, closing her eyes she pushed down against him and pressed her tongue along the underside of his cock. "Damn Mel."

He groaned slowly and she gripped his hips; they rolled, trapped beneath him she swallowed as he found release. He slid free slowly, his hips near her face as he tried to recover; she stroked him gently. She smiled as he recovered quickly, he was thick and long, she circled his tip; one more way to have him.

"You've had my hand, you've had my mouth." She pushed him up and rolled him; she knew something they both liked. "Now, take me."

Sliding up she braced one hand on his shoulder and the other guided him to her entrance. "Mel, babe please stop, too fast I need to take time; time with you."

She just leaned down and smiled, slowly lowering herself onto him. His head fell back and he groaned slowly, she pressed her lips to his chest before sitting up. His hands on her hips he guided her up and down; her body stretching around him.

Her hands pressed against his shoulders as she rode him stoking her own body towards release; his hands slid up towards her breasts. She whimpered as he stroked her nipples, pulling lightly; she knew he was slipping over.

Rolling down he pressed deeply into her and she felt his body let go, she collapsed against his chest and lay there as his breathing heaved. Tipping her head up she watched him, his eyes closed and his hand rubbed her back. "I love you Fin, but what means the most to me is that you accept me; and enjoy me. You've given me something back that I never thought I could have again."

He looked at her for a moment and then they rolled she stroked his chest as they stared at each other a long moment. "You did the same Mel. You did the same."

His lips pressed to hers in a sweet kiss and for a long moment they simply enjoyed a closeness she hadn't known before. They were bonded, for life and for love; they made each other better. They lived together, worked together and played together; he'd made a promise she intended to see him keep.

Rolling him underneath her she grinned. "I think you promised me something."  
"Did I? Well I had a plan for tonight but I think you had your own." He stroked up her sides again and she shivered; he knew how to touch her.

"Someone told me I wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow, seeing as you're the only man in my bed; maybe you should make that happen." Pressing her hands to his chest, she tilted her head. "Let's play."

"That is a promise I'd like to keep." He smiled and they rolled again and she didn't hit the mattress.

Her back hit the floor and Fin landed on top of her; his weight crushed her to the floor. The air was forced out of her lungs even as Fin moved off of her. "Mel, Melinda honey I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Uhgh, it's okay; I'm okay." She was just stunned for a moment and then started to push herself up. " Next time we wrestle we just need to remember how big the bed is; or I need to land on top."

"No Mel, I can get you." His arms slid under her knees and behind her back; he scooped her up easily.

He set her on the bed and crawled in beside her, she rolled over and smiled. "I'm fine Fin, just startled, I still want to play."


	10. Chapter 10

He groaned softly as Melinda turned into him again, he stroked the back of her head; she had to have cracked it on the floor. She was intent and she deserved some pleasure of her own; he'd had plenty. He had planned how tonight would go; he wanted it to be special; to take her as far as she could go.

Even in the dim light of the bedroom he knew his control had slipped; if took her to far he would follow. Her body was soft and supple, he knew how she liked to be touched and where. Pressing her onto her back he lined his body with hers. "I'll play Mel, I love playing with you."

His hand massaged her breast gently; her eyes widened just a little when he rubbed her nipple. Slowly he lowered his mouth to the tender flesh and sucked gently; feeling her hands come to his head. Sucking one nipple he teased the other and she arched towards him.

Stroking one hand down the curve of her spine he nipped lightly feeling her twitch. "Like that baby?"

She made a soft sound in response, he knew she liked it and he switched to the other; her hands slid over his shoulders. He spent a long time sucking and kneading the flesh, her moans increased and her head tossed.

Slowly he eased his way down her body, pressing kisses to her navel and lower; pressing her thighs open to him. Stroking lightly between her folds he heard the soft gasp; she hadn't found release yet. Her body was wound tight and he knew she wanted to let go; he was going to see how far she could.

Gently he slid through her moisture and circled her clit; he pinched it and she gasped. The aftershocks flowed through her body, and he pressed his fingers to her entrance; watching her face. Her eyes widened and he pressed forward gently, slowly as her slick passage took him in.

He stroked slowly into her watching her face, curling his fingers forward her head came up. He reached for a pillow and lifted her hips; sliding it under her. He stroked her body and fully impaled lifted up inside of her; hearing her groans.

"Fin I want your mouth." Melinda groaned, she loved his mouth, and her body was on the edge. He took her over once but only the first pop of release; she knew he wasn't done.

"Not yet baby, you like that?" He pressed his fingers into her again and she groaned as his fingers curled forward; then pulled up inside of her. She whimpered, it felt good and her body shuddered, her body was sensitive and she wanted the release.

"Yes, I do. Fin can't I please, please I want to…." Melinda groaned, he was taunting her and bringing her closer to the edge.

"No sweetie knees up; c'mon spread wide for me." His fingers slid from her, she whimpered as he gripped her knees; her own moisture against her flesh. "That's it, cold isn't it?"

He splayed her open, her knees propped wide she was hyper sensitive; cool air washed over her. She nodded a little; she needed him to keep going; to touch her. One finger trailed against her and she arched up, trying to meet the pressure she wanted.

His fingers worked her firmly, pressing into her and stroking her; but she wanted him in her. His tongue or his body, she wanted to crash as she felt her toes curl when his fingers pinched her clit a little bit. Her legs collapsed and her hips rose, he lifted her knees again as she rode it out.

Her body fought to find release but he stroked her through it, her body was slick and she felt raw. Every part of her wanted to feel the release, the pop of stress but he stoked her on. Her head fell back in frustration as his fingers slipped from her again.

He smiled at her groans and lifted her legs, pressing them open and to her chest; her pussy glistened. Leaning down he ran his tongue along her, she tasted of sweet musk and he wanted all of it. Lapping her eagerly he felt her fighting him; she was fighting for what she wanted.

He held her firmly, pressing his tongue into her slit and rolling her clit; hearing her gasps his own body hummed. She was so delicious and soft, warm; her whimpers egged him on. Rolling her hips up to his mouth, her knees fell over his shoulders and she screamed.

He looked up to her face, slowly he watched her as he took her over; feeling the fight flooding out of her. He lapped it eagerly, devouring all she had, her flesh swollen and sensitive; her body slack. He crawled up her body, letting her knees slide down along his sides.

Her chest heaved and her eyes closed, her delicate lip was caught between her teeth as she rode it out; he smiled; she thought he was done with her. His knees slid under her hips, cradling her pelvis, gently he massaged her breasts; opening her eyes.

"Fin, I don't think I can; I can't..." He leaned down and silenced her, pressing his lips to hers, she pulled away for air.

Pressing his chest to hers he stroked her hair, her cheek; damp with sweat. "You're not done yet."

And very slowly he pressed in, her chest came up to him, he took her slowly and kissed her gently. Sliding deep and pulling away, her strength was gone but she whimpered and screamed with each entry and retreat; his own control was slipping and he knelt his cheek to her neck; finding her pulse he sucked.

Holding out, he blocked out everything but her tight flesh gripping him and the soft body below him; he fought not to listen. She cried for release, for more; he knew she didn't think she had it but she did; he could feel it building around him. Every sound she made brought his own edge closer, more than even her sweet body.

"I can't Fin, I can't." Her head shook even as her body did, he knew where she was; he'd felt it taking her there.

"Shush, babe you can, you already are." He kissed her cheek, stroking her hair and closing his own eyes; she was close. Her body gripped him, he groaned as he felt her release hit. "There you go."

She slacked and he pressed deeply, his hips flush with hers he found her lips and let himself slide over. Lowering his weight into her he shifted slightly to the side; holding her tightly. Melinda was limp in his arms; he stayed within her and snuggled against her to sleep.

Melinda groaned slowly, starting to stretch, her body felt foreign; every part of her was sensitive. Fin was on top of her, snoring softly, he was within her. Every part of her ached, she moved away slowly; he held onto her.

He rolled with her and they spooned, his knee pressed between her legs and she sighed, his chin fit the curve of her neck. They fit together perfectly, he was part of her; he knew her. She slept in his arms, but woke alone; she reached for his side of the bed.

It was still warm; she stretched and opened her eyes. She glanced up as Fin rounded the bed; he knelt on the bed as she sat up. "Lay back Mel, you don't have to get up yet."

She smiled as he crawled in beside her, his face close to hers; his hand ran through her hair. Their body's pressed together; she slung an arm around his neck. "Good morning."

"Morning Mel, regret it yet?" He had an easy grin on his face as he rolled on top of her; she liked him there.

"No." She kissed him lightly. "No, I don't and I'm not about to start."

Both arms wound around his neck, his slipped under her shoulders; his lips pressed insistently to hers. She looked into his eyes as his tongue slid into her mouth; their tongues warred until they both needed to breath. "Good, I was afraid I was going to have to convince you."

"Mhm, what would have gone into that?" She grinned as his finger pressed to her lips.

"Well, I thought a warm bath and then I'd make breakfast before we have to get to the airport. Bags are downstairs already. Might be enough to make you keep me around." He kissed her again and she smiled.

"I like that idea."

"Really? Well wrap your legs around me." Fin's knee pressed between her legs; a soak in the tub would be nice.

She wound her legs around his hips, his weight sunk into her and then he pulled them both up. She groaned, he pressed against her; he held her tightly to his chest; she felt safe with him. He set her down in the bathroom, she watched him fill the tub.

He lowered her into the warm water, seeing her sigh a little, nudging her forward in the tub he slipped in behind her. She leaned back into his chest and he wrapped her in his arms; it was a good way to start a day.

After a while he wrapped himself in a towel and left her to soak, in the bedroom he got dressed and found some clothes for her; and did a final sweep of the room. They were leaving for the week and he wanted Melinda to relax and enjoy the time; not find things to worry about.

He'd gotten up early to get breakfast ready and hide her notes; they were not coming with them as her plane reading. He set the clothes on the counter and offered her the towel; she gave him a sad face and then stood up.

Her body was gorgeous wet, she wrapped the towel around herself and he sighed a bit. He may have had her last night and enjoyed it but his body was responding to her again. Leaning against the door he watched her dress and do her make- up, her hair was curly and free.

She turned to face him and he cupped her cheeks; her hair was damp. "Food?"

"Coffee too." She kissed his cheek and he rolled his eyes; she was as much of a caffeine addict as any cop.

"Coffee too, c'mon Mel." He tucked his hand in her back pocket and followed her down the stairs. Her gait was slightly stiff but she didn't say a word about it; he'd give her some time.

They sat side by side, Melinda was nibbling on fruit; he sensed that she was nervous. Fin ate a danish and watched her. By the time they had to leave he knew something was just a little off.

"Fin, where are my notes on the case?" She had her purse; he had just finished putting their bags in the car.

"You are not bringing them with you on our honeymoon." He rolled his eyes at her expression. "No Mel."

"Fine, I'll have to find a book; I need something to keep my mind busy on the plane."

"I'll be in the car." There was no point in arguing, her mind was made up.

Two hours later they were taxiing towards take off, Melinda's fingers gripped the arm rest tightly; her knuckles white. But her face was blank, and he knew it was intentional. He pried her hand free and slipped his hand into hers.

"You okay Mel?"

"I'm fine." Her answer was tense; he waited and then guided her cheek to his shoulder. The plane shuddered and her grip tightened; he heard her sigh. "Last time we came home, we were done; supposed to be safe. Almost got blown up in service but we were on our way home; hit turbulence; still rattles me sometimes."

"It's okay Mel, that's okay; just hold on to my hand." He saw her smile a little, and he knew she was just a little nervous. "You fly since?"

"Not much, don't need to very much; just don't like to. "

"I knew you saw action I didn't know you saw it at home." He would have thought twice about flying somewhere for a honeymoon.

"It was a mechanical error, we made an emergency landing; most of us survived. We left people there, lost them in action; we were in a war. Two men survived that to die on the way home because something was wrong with the engine. You know I really don't want think too much about this on a plane." Melinda shook her head, and he nodded understanding the feeling; he had left men behind too.

"It's not fair."

"It never is, life never is; just let it be Fin. It is just something I have to think about for a moment. When do we land?" She rolled her eyes, and smiled; it was a memory. Something she had to deal with every so often and put behind her.

"Another four hours, then we are in Panama. You can relax and enjoy a week away from it all."

"You know I'll sort of miss the rat race no matter how much I like being on vacation. I like doing something." She smiled and curled into his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her.

"I know, but I am sure we can find a few things to do." He nipped her ear lightly and she grinned; it was really nice to be able to play with someone.


	11. Chapter 11

A week in the sun had been fun, but they had gotten home the night before and he had work this morning; with Munch. He set his coffee on the desk and wandered up to the board to see what was active.

"A week in the sun and you can't even tell?" He partner came up behind him.

"It might do your white ass some good. What do we have on?" He rolled his eyes.

"Cleared a stranger rape, still have that girl with the note books, Mrs. Tutuola get anything on that?"

"Mel hasn't looked at it since before we left, it was our honeymoon; there were better things to do." Though if she had been able to get them and she probably would have worked on it.

"Of course you did, it hasn't moved girl is in ICU at Mercy and not going anywhere. We've got a pregnant vic in the hospital on an assault collar. She's ready to pop but still had the energy to attack her dealer." John rolled his eyes as Fin sighed; that was nothing new.

"We catch it because she's ready to pop?"

"Mostly, who knows with these wack jobs; tried to talk to her last night. We still need a statement, and last night she was too high to be of any help." Munch looked at the board for a moment and then moved away.

"And now she is in labor, put off talking to her till this afternoon. Update Fin on the Jane Doe case; Benson can help. Amaro and Rollins can catch, Bethesda for a possible stranger rape." Cragen spoke from his office doorway.

The detectives nodded and moved away to their respective jobs. Fin returned to his desk as Olivia pulled her chair over; Munch headed off somewhere mumbling about good coffee.

"Munch says we haven't gotten anywhere?"

"Not really, we are working it as the Jane Doe case because we assume there are more victims but identities unknown, the girl we have in the hospital was not a victim but knew something. Her name is Cassie Jacobs, they don't expect much; minimal response to painful stimuli." He saw the sadness in Olivia's face; the woman had spent a good deal of time on this case already.

"I've been through her apartment again, we didn't turn up anything. Her life in New York started two years ago, nothing before that; she changed her name and new social insurance number. People here all met her in the last two years; we haven't been able to track down any family."

"No new victims related? I know Angela, the ME covering for Melinda was going through the Jane Doe's, and did she turn anything up?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, we haven't got anything, she gave us the rape kit and the forensics is back from the lab; we've got evidence but nothing in the system or suspects."

"Alright then, did Angela come up with anything on the notes? I know Melinda was working on them but I made her leave them at home for our honeymoon; Angela has a copy."

"Fin the kid isn't quite Melinda, she doesn't know what to make of it; I don't know that she'd give us an answer if she had a good idea."

"She doesn't have a medical licence, she is a pathologist; took some roundabout route to it. I know Mel said if she gets a body with the ear marks she'll be able to pin it down; she's back now. Anything comes in we'll call her; we have to assume this guy is still active."

Olivia nodded again and then spoke. "And that somewhere he has a dumping ground, we don't know where it is though, or if it is even in New York."

"Yeah we do, girl left her old life behind, friends and family; new name. She didn't bring this with her, if we found her and not the book I'd say that was the reason she left; but I think this is what she found." He sighed, something had made the girl run and she had run into something much bigger. "Let's work backwards, I've got time apparently; the other case we have is in labor."

"That's a weird one; feel sorry for her baby the kid is going to be born addicted."

"Junkie doesn't care enough to get clean or can't fight the need; happens to often. Let's focus on this; I don't know when Munch will be back." He took the file and settled back to read, it was time to get his head back in the game.

It was good to be working with Olivia and Munch, they had worked together a long time; he knew how they worked. Change was hard, especially in their unit and given a choice he would stay with the partners he trusted to have his back.

While Olivia could relate to the victims he liked to see the overall picture and threw himself into the forensics; reacquainting himself with Cassie Jacobs. Twenty four years old and on life support, she was someone's daughter and friend; they didn't even know where she was.

The day passed slowly, he worked his way steadily through the new details looking for something the others had missed; even though he knew it was futile. When Cragen came out of the office he knew something had shifted; the man's face was tense.

"Benson, Munch and Fin to Mercy now, Vic just brought in possible connection to our Jane Doe; Warner, sorry Melinda is already on route." He smiled a little, it would take time for them to adjust; but it was amusing to watch people try and connect.

He rode with Munch and Olivia to the emerge, if they had a vic it would be a mess. They rounded the nurses' station and were looking into the room that was a mess of scrubs and activity. He stared at the poor girl, skin and bones nurses moved around the bed.

The three detectives stepped into the room and pressed themselves to the wall to watch. He watched as several nurses stuck needles in the girl's arms and pulled out; he winced for the kid. Munch caught a nurse to get the story.

"She was found in an abandoned building, real estate agent; she's a mess. We haven't done a full assessment yet but there are are…"

"She's been tortured and starved, dehydrated; be careful attaching the ECG. You will see some severe dysrhythmias, and she is likely to have a positive tox report." He glanced over to see Melinda in the doorway.

"You would be?" The nurse glanced at her, Melinda was still in her scrubs; he knew she'd probably been pulled out of something.

"Melinda Tutuola, Medical Examiner; Manhattan District. I'd like a look at your test results and a moment to examine her once you've got her stabilized; I'll speak to the doctor in a moment. "He felt a shock of pleasure, he liked hearing her use his name; it felt right.

The nurse nodded and moved back towards the bed, he saw her lean over to speak to a woman also working on the victim. Munch excused himself to go up to maternity to see if the suspect they still needed a statement from was still in labor and Melinda fell in beside him to watch.

He watched her, she understood what was going on and what was going wrong; he knew things were by the tension that mounted in the room. He watched as they steadily moved up her arms with needles, putting them in and pulling them out; faces fell and Melinda shook her head.

The nurse they had spoken to earlier nodded towards Melinda, he watched as his wife was assessed; Melinda's chin took on an almost defiant angle. The woman walked over. "You're the coroner? This girl is still alive by a thread. What do you know?"

"I may have a guide to the torture she was put through. " Melinda spoke, still watching the activity behind the ER doctor; she wasn't interested in a turf war and would be just as happy to see this girl live.

"You have your license?" She nodded, they needed an IV and so far they had all missed; her protocols were out of date but to her knowledge standard was two and theirs were gone. "Think you can get a line in her? We need at least two."

"It's been a long time since I've started an IV. Your nurses have any shots left?"

" No, we have put a call in to the lab, we need to draw blood anyways but the sooner we get a line in the better; she's compromised as it is." The woman's eyes showed how exhausted she was, but in Melinda's mind that didn't excuse her words; it wasn't fair to give up hope now.

"She's hung on this long." She stepped around the doctor and moved to wash her hands; she would either do this or make a fool of herself.

But she wouldn't stand by and watch either, it was so easy to become jaded and give up on people; but sometimes you just had to keep believing. Donning the gloves she chose a line and looked at the girl's arm; stupid shots had been taken for both ante cubitals and missed. It meant she was looking at the upper arm only; a miserable IV to get even on a good day.

Gently she touched the poor girls arm, rubbing her hand up the girls arm and found the ante brachial vein, one good thing was she knew where the veins ran; it was a chance. Cleaning the site she closed her eyes for a moment and stabilized her hand; she didn't do this every day.

She rolled the vein between her fingers to trap it and slid the needle forward; it was a huge relief to see the flashback. Even as blood filled the chamber she pulled the needle back and held the little catheter steady; pinned in the vein. Taping it in place she reached for the line running from a bag of saline.

Silently she moved around to the other arm, most of the nurses were right handed; they had hit this arm first and worked steadily up from the hand with no success. Gently she took the young woman's hand and looked at her upper arm, reaching out she sought a viable vein and then repeated the procedure she had already done.

The room was very quiet as she stripped off her gloves and washed her hands again. She stepped back to the wall where the two detectives stood, Fin gave her a quick smile and she knew he didn't understand exactly what had happened.

She had the woman's full attention now, it was interesting how people's attitudes changed she thought as the doctor moved towards her with the record; she wouldn't have gotten on that if she'd missed. Silently she read the medic's report; they hadn't been able to get a blood pressure.

"We are lucky she isn't completely septic. I've started a course of antibiotics through the IV; we'll have to do some more tests to find out how bad." Melinda just nodded as she listened, there was no ID except for a number burned into her chest, and the medic's scribble was either a four or maybe a seven.

"Do you have a print out from the ECG?"

"You have an idea of what happened? What tests do you want? I can justify them, especially with her." The doctor spoke silently, she hadn't even gotten the woman's name; but then she wasn't sure she needed it.

"I'd like to look examine her once you've stabilized her and look at any results you get. Her heart has been put under tremendous strain; any necrosis I'm not seeing?" She studied the strip the woman handed to her; poor girl's heart had been put through it. "I have a chart on what was done to this girl, I just need the number on her and I can tell how she reacted to the stimulus."

"With you?" The woman's eye brows rose as she nodded; the doctor nodded to the nurses. "We'll give you a few minutes to do your own exam; I think you can handle it."

Their eyes locked for a long moment; a little bit of give meant a little bit of take. She handed over her notes from the book SVU had given her several weeks ago. "I need them back."

"Fair enough." The notes were snatched away about as fast as the room cleared and Melinda watched them go for a moment.

She rarely worked in the hospital setting; she never worked on living people, at least not in the last fifteen years. It was sad in a sense; she knew people saw it that way by time; or disagreed that her time should be spent with the dead.

Either way it was her choice and she made it, but right now she had another one to stand by; this girl deserved to be cared for. Gloving down she turned to the young woman; she looked delicate in the bed. She moved closer and tucked the girl's hair behind her cheek, she held answers.

"Hey Mel, should we stay?" Fin asked as Munch stepped back in, shutting the door behind her.

"You can if you want, I just want to have a look at her now; she needs to be comfortable. More invasive tests can be done later, I'll get your evidence; other than that medicine needs to come first; she has a chance." She turned down the bed and untied the gown around the girl's neck; moving it just enough so she could see the number.

This had been the seventh girl, Melinda began her work, documenting injuries and then examining them for signs of infection and healing.

"I know your busy there Doc but 1 cm dilated is nothing right? How long can she stay like that?" Munch asked, she heard both his partners making noises in the background.

"Hours, or days, was she induced?"

"No, suffered a trauma even though she beat a man nearly to death. She was brought in high as a kite and is still coming down only now she may have the kid; we can't talk to her."

"What was she on?" She focused her attention to the puncture marks riddling the girl's thighs; it was an odd place to shoot up when the drugs were administered by a second person.

There were restraint marks on the wrists and ankles, deep bruising and welts; she had been restrained for a great deal of time. Gently she spread the girl's toes, no scarred track marks; it didn't appear the girl had used, or at least had known how to be careful about it.

"A mix of crystal meth, graduated from heroin."

"There may be complications, and it may be awhile; she'll go into withdrawal and they'll have to counter it." She turned her attention back to the girl's chest; the gel had worn off the electrodes; they'd been taped at some point. "I'd count on waiting a bit before talking to her."

He watched her work, methodically and he knew she was seeing a lot more than what she was saying. There might have been a reason to be thankful for that, he had seen some pretty horrible stuff but it still surprised him sometimes.

After a little while all three of them stepped out; leaving Melinda to do her thing. They stood silently for a moment, he knew he was in a different place than they were; he was wondering if his wife would shake it off by the time she got home.

"Well we needed a lead, was hoping we'd get something from the first victim we had." Munch spoke, he knew the detective felt caged; Olivia was still pitying her.

"We've got something now, it will be a couple hours until Melinda can get anything to the lab; let's find the scene and help with the canvas." He sighed; they had better get something before they found another victim.

It was a long day, he spent all of it on his feet; it was good to be back in New York. And in thinking that he knew he had lived in the city to long; but routine was good. Even if it didn't turn up anything useful, he was relieved when Munch started complaining about his feet.

"Last door; then we can call it quits."

"And you can drop me off at home; this has been a complete waste of time. She wasn't supposed to be found, she was still alive; there was more time for the sick freak to torture her." At least it wasn't conspiracy theories, then he'd never shut up.

"We don't know that, and if she wasn't meant to be found then she escaped; which means she might have been held nearby." He rolled his eyes and raised his hand to pound on the door.

"And where exactly? Building was empty, and the basements of these buildings are empty; it'd be a little crowded in an apartment." Munch shook his head and Fin raised his hand again.

"Last door, if they don't answer this time we can come back tomorrow." He pounded the door one last time.

"Because we have so much endless time on our hands to deal with nut bars that can't open their doors like law abiding citizens who would help their neighbor."

Giving up he turned away from the door and headed for the stairs; it would be a long ride home. It was over an hour later that he got home, Melinda's car was already there and he smiled when Springer bounded off the front porch; at least some things didn't change.

And the ones that did were pretty nice; at least at home. Melinda was in the kitchen with her back to him, walking up behind her he laced his hands around her middle, she had changed out of her work clothes and her t shirt rode up a little bit without much help.

"Hey." He kissed the base of her neck, feeling her curl into him.

"Mhm, good day?"

"Long one, we didn't find much; we'll go back at it tomorrow; then we've got the junkie in labor to talk to too. Munch asked the doctor why we couldn't see her; no response. How behind are you after spending the morning at the hospital?"

"Caught up, I've snagged Angela for a couple more days; she missed the city; I had papers to sign. And hopefully your day will get better now that your home. Something on the table for you." Her head tipped back and he kissed her lips before glancing to the table.

"Open it?"

"Read the note, I don't need the wrath of my daughter." She grinned as he stepped away, a thick envelope lay on the table; he knew what it was.

Opening it he dumped the contents onto the table, a beautiful shot of Melinda in the back yard slid out on top. He felt her hovering behind him and reached back pulling her forward into his lap. He lifted the shot and smiled. "I'm framing this one."

Setting it aside he flipped through, most were ones they had posed for in the back yard; there was one at the court house and some from the barbeque after. He paused at the one of Melinda standing with Ken; Springer dangled from his son's arms thrilled with the attention.

His fingers traced an absent pattern over her hips as he flipped through the photos. He had picked two that he wanted to frame, one for their bedroom and one for his desk at work; Melinda pulled one from his grip.

"I want to frame that one." He reached for it, he could already tell by her expression she didn't agree.

"It should be destroyed." Melinda rolled her eyes and he grinned.

"I like it, you look beautiful. How was your day?" He kissed her cheek and snuggled her close as he snatched back the picture; he'd get it framed and take it to work before she got a chance to do as she threatened.

"Long but good I guess, good to be back at work. The emergency doctor, Kramer, sent me some of the test results from our Jane Doe and the marks on her body all indicate she was a part of this experiment. I've begun to line up the scars and overall strain on her body into a possible time line of injury." Her cheek rested in the curve of his shoulder.

"Good, did you collect any trace?"

"Not my job, but yes I did and I sent it to the lab." She grinned cheekily, she had had a good day he knew; she had gotten out of the morgue for a bit.

"Pleased with yourself aren't you; you grin like a cat."

"It's nice to be good at my job sometimes and do some of the things I was trained to do." He smiled as she ducked her face. "Those nurses can hit anything they can see and half of what they can't, my luck is I have a student and have been reviewing dissection of the arm; not as much space for veins to roll in the upper arm." Melinda tried to hide her smile but it had felt good.

"Good." Fin turned her in his lap and she put her hands on his shoulders; snuggling against him. It felt good, it was good to be home just as it had been good to be back at work; but home was better.


	12. Chapter 12

Melinda groaned as rolled over slowly, she didn't feel great and Fin was already up; that meant she'd slept through the alarm. Fumbling her way to the bathroom she tried to get her head around how she'd slept through the alarm; and why her husband had let her.

"Hey Mel." Fin came to lean in the doorway, he was just wearing a pair of jeans and she growled; he was too relaxed. And she knew he wasn't off, they'd finally managed to line up their days off.

"Why'd you let me sleep late?" She tried to brush her teeth as he stuck a cup of coffee in front of her.

"Because you don't work today, neither of us do now." Fin offered her the cup again and she took it glaring at him a moment. "Feeling better?"

"What? Did you call in sick for us?"

"No Mel, its Saturday; you slept through Friday." He laughed and she just stared at him. "You were totally zoned in weren't you?"

She just nodded, trying to remember the last few days it had been zooy, Tuesday the dam had broken on the number case; the detectives had moved in on the torture chamber. The hospital had been flooded and what had been a courtesy call turned into the longest shift of her life.

Two had come in septic, one had died within hours it had been pure craziness trying to run tox reports and triage six patients in critical condition. Losing one hadn't felt good but they had spent so many hours caring gently for the woman and trying to give her a chance that it may have been kinder to see her go.

She'd been at the hospital from early in the morning until two days later around midnight. Each victim had to be fully processed and tested; stabilized. Then she'd gone to the morgue to do the full post before turning back to the hospital to review the results.

Melinda wasn't exactly sure of how she'd gotten home from the hospital; she wasn't sure she'd even walked. "I slept right through Friday?"

"It was about three am Friday morning when you finally fell into bed; and now its Saturday morning. You needed the sleep Mel." He leaned in to kiss her cheek as she slumped back.

"The case?"

"Dead to rights. Don't worry about it Mel, its over for now. There will be some paperwork and the court proceedings then it's over. Are you sure you're okay? I thought about waking you up but you just seemed to want to sleep." Their eyes met and she nodded, unsure of where the last twenty four hours had gone.

"I must have been a zombie, where were you?"

"I went back to the hospital Friday for a bit, I was wondering if you'd come with me later today; I want you to meet somebody and see what you think." He took her hand gently and drew her into the hall; pressing the cup of coffee into her hands.

She just smiled as he leaned against the wall beside her, she sipped the coffee and wished she could feel a little more alert. His hand stroked over her belly pulling her hip; easing her closer. Melinda leaned her cheek against his chest.

His hand slid into her hair, the other slipped under her shirt and she smiled. Fin was easing her shirt up slowly before centering over her belly. "How bad do you want the coffee?"

Tipping her face up to him she reached out to set the cup down; morning sex was much better. He grinned and took it, as he stepped away she turned with him; the coffee went on the bathroom counter. She was pressed back to the wall, his hands on her hips she grinned like an idiot as his mouth pressed to hers.

The first thing he did, even as their lips met, was pull her shirt away. It was his for so long but had been washed to be wonderfully soft, but she didn't miss it as his hands covered her breasts. She moaned softly, reaching for his jeans.

"No Mel, this is all about you." His hands massaged her and she stilled her hands, he rolled her nipples lightly and she moaned. His mouth dropped to her breast and she felt his hands bracing on either side of her torso. Her panties slid down and she watched as he knelt in front of her; he kissed her cheeks.

His hand ran down to her knee lifting it up; dropping kisses down to her leg. It was draped over his shoulder and she groaned, his attention had turned to her center; he was good with his mouth. He dove straight back to her entrance, and drew his tongue slowly through her folds.

"Fin." She whimpered again as his fingers plunged into her, and he pulled back a moment to look at her face; eyes closed her chin tipped up.

She was so tight and slick, he wanted to slide into her then and there but knew she could enjoy so much more. Finding her sweet spot he pressed into her deeply and nuzzled her clit; her legs gave out. He pinned her to the wall, she tasted delicious, sweet and musky as moisture seeped from her; he caught all of it.

A strangled gasp slipped from her and his dick jumped as her release brought her weight into him. Keeping her leg firmly on his shoulder he stood, pressing his core to hers; wishing his jeans weren't between them.

Her eyes opened and he kissed her gently; he wanted to fuck her like this. Her body could barely do it but her eyes were alive and he knew she'd be willing to try it; he just couldn't tip them over. He watched her chest heave, her fingers easily slipped her hands into his jeans.

She pushed them down a little and then wrapped her arms around him; he worked them down his hips. Wincing as his dick was compressed before bouncing free. There would always be a thrill to sliding into her, she was tight and responsive; holding her ankle firmly.

He slipped into her, looking into her eyes, hearing her groan and feeling her his body spasmed. Tight and slick he braced his hands on either side of her and pounded in and out. Every part of him knew he should be gentle but she yelped and cried as her jaw tipped back; her body clenched around him.

"That's it baby I'm so close." He groaned and pushed into her harder, picking a spot on her neck and sucking hard as his release took over; collapsing against her.

He was still breathing hard, knowing she needed release and to relax; slipping her leg from his shoulder. She gasped a bit and he scooped her up, carrying her to the bed and laying her down gently. "Feel good Fin?"

"Yeah, really good. Ssh, let's take you up." He nuzzled her cheek, reaching down to rub her hip, feeling her shift under him. "Sore?"

She shook her head, she wasn't going to tell him her body didn't bend like that; it had felt good. But what was more she had felt his excitement in it, she wasn't going to deny him that. She groaned as he lined himself up and slid back into her; he felt good.

Stretched wide open she lay back and enjoyed the ride, his finger found her clit and she screamed; her body sung. He heaved above her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck; trying hard to stay with him.

"Fin." His name was dragged from her as her body crashed and she slipped away from it all. He was still moving deep within her and she wasn't ready for him to stop. His hands planted on either side of her, she closed her eyes as their hips met roughly; she arched up to him.

When she couldn't take anymore he pressed into her deeply and she felt his release and it was enough for her to find another high. He lay with her, in her and she stroked his cheek; he was too good to be true. "I love you."

"Love you too Mel." She heard the rumble of his laugh and shrugged her shoulders, lacing her arms across his back.

They lay tangled together and he rolled to the side, she felt his hand trailing over her and she smiled; he liked to play with her. Rolling onto her hip she gave him easy access and enjoyed being wanted. "Why do we need to go back to the hospital?"

"Something someone said, there is someone I think I want you to meet." He was stroking her back and she nodded, her brain was now a little fuzzier than it had been when she woke up; sex made her buzzed.

"Do I get some hints?"

"Patience is a virtue. Hungry?" He kissed her cheek and she ignored the question; enjoying his mouth. Sweet and gentle Melinda sighed, comfortable; she didn't want to get up.

When they finally dragged themselves out of bed and got dressed it was nearly noon. She glanced at the calendar and made a mental note; she wouldn't mention it to Fin. He was anxious to get going for something.

At the hospital he waited while she checked in on the young women who had been admitted earlier in the week. She saw a couple of the nurse's pause to speak to Fin and his grin told her what they had said. "Ready?"

She took his hand and he smiled a little, he liked that. They took the elevator up to the third floor and saw her give him a curious glance; he had to keep his face straight. He wasn't sure what she was going to think about this.

But he wasn't just going to stand back either, he led her into the nursery; he could already hear her. Gently he guided Melinda towards an incubator. "She's only about ten days, addicted and highest blood content they've seen here; they're bringing her down with morphine."

The little child squirmed as a nurse tried to sooth her with a soother, poor thing was screaming for all she was worth. "She wants her mother."

"She doesn't have one, mother gave up parental rights and wouldn't have been allowed them by the state anyways; poor little thing has a rough road ahead. Worried about her seizing." The nurse spoke softly lifting the little child close to her.

"Fin?" Her voice was soft but his name held a thousand questions. Silently he reached out for her, Melinda stepped closer to him but her eyes were on the child.

"Has she slept much yet?"

"She sleeps and she cries, they're very sensitive to stimuli, compulsive sucking; little one needs a mother." He saw a little color fade from her face.

"Mel, I just thought a mother's touch to help her settle." He shifted uncomfortably.

"We've tried just about everything, little thing doesn't want to be comforted."

"May I try a moment?"

"Sure, have a chair." The nurse gestured to a rocking chair, and slipped away.

Melinda leaned down and scooped the baby up gently, holding the child close to her and walking to the chair. He watched as she wrapped the tiny little one in a blanket and soothed her softly. He stepped in behind her and watched as she snuggled the baby; it was right.

"Hey, it's okay little one." She spoke to the baby in a warm gently tone before looking up at him. " What's her name?"

"Laura Grace." He watched as she turned her attention back to the baby in her arms; she was so natural with her. The little girl continued to cry and scream but Melinda spoke to her softly and kept trying to get her to take the soother.

The nurse came back and watched for a moment, then nodded to the hall; he glanced up to see the ACS worker in the hall. He stepped away as the woman sat down opposite Melinda.

"She's not taking it well is she? Doesn't suit her." The nurse commented softly, reaching out to fix the little cap; poor thing didn't like that either.

"She wants to suck, it's a side effect but she can't keep that in her mouth." She paused looking down at the tiny human, red faced and angry; she cooed gently. "If you were my little girl I just let you nurse, you'd like that huh? I don't have anything for you."

"If you want to try it go ahead, won't be comfortable but might make her happy." Melinda glanced up surprised at the nurse's response.

"I was just talking to her. She doesn't take a little sugar water? It used to sooth my daughter when she got herself worked up." Melinda stroked the little girl's head.

"Sugar water on the soother works sometimes but not for long. She has a long road, I wish we weren't so busy here; she needs attention most of all." The nurse spoke even as she moved away towards another child who had started to whimper.

She looked back to the girl in her arms. "What do think little girl, hm Laura? Do you think that would calm you down, you're getting yourself so worked up no?"

The baby just squirmed and wailed, she glanced around the room, the nurses were all busy and Fin was nowhere to be seen. Slipping a hand under her shirt she moved her bra and eased the baby up, undoing the top button she watched as the little girl tried to figure out what to do.

Gently she pressed the nipple into the little girl's mouth, whimpers escaped around it before the child understood it was soothing. Whimpers died off as the baby sucked and she rocked slowly; one arm holding the girl as the other rubbed her back.

She watched the child, eyes had closed and a little fist just pressed against her; the little girl had finally settled. Sucking contentedly Laura rested, and Melinda rocked; it had been years since she had rocked a baby like this.

Nursing Kaylen had been relaxing and so exciting with her new baby in her arms learning something together. Now it was an old habit that she remembered comfortably, the baby wasn't getting anything but it was a comfort to it; it had been a comfort to Kaylen too.

Fin came back into the room followed by someone she had seen around, she couldn't quite place her. "Hey Mel, this is Pamela Kist, from ACS, Laura is a ward of the state and she needs to be placed. She has to have the morphine therapy to wean her off of the meth; normally she'd have stay here but they're over whelmed."

"ME Warner, we've worked together before briefly."

"It's Tutuola now." She corrected softly, finally able to place the woman; it had been several years ago.

"Sorry, you two are together now, I didn't realize you'd changed your name. Anyways, you have your MD and raised a child; we can get the paperwork out of the way easily. I can do an in home visit, I can understand that this is sudden but we can make it work."

"Fin." She glanced at her husband, still rocking the baby, she wasn't overly impressed and just a little stressed now. Forcing herself to stay calm she studied him, he looked almost like a child begging for a puppy.

"You've been exhausted Melinda and I know that but I think it would be good for us and good for her. She needs a mom and look at you, you already got her to settle." He reached for her shoulder and she nodded silently; her heart was tightening a little.

"Okay, how soon do you want to arrange this?" Melinda asked quietly, they could discuss this at home later; they wouldn't be taking home a baby tonight.

"Take the night to talk about it we can make it happen within the next seventy two hours. You know how to get in touch with me and we'll make arrangements. It's good to see her settled."

"I'm almost afraid to move, she's content but I don't think she's really sleeping yet." Melinda glanced down at the little girl again, the child had closed her eyes but that didn't mean too much. "She's so young."

"Barely even started her life and she's all alone. Let me know." The woman left them as smoothly as she came and Melinda took a few moments just to look down at the baby; she wasn't sure what to say to her husband; not when she couldn't be sure of herself.

Slowly she stood and moved towards the cradle, switching the child from her breast to the soother; the sleeping baby barely noticed. Melinda stepped back and nodded to the nurse as she followed Fin out. As soon as they stepped into the hall he glanced down at her, she kept her face calm. "What did you think of her?"

"What case is she attached to?" She knew her husband well enough to know this little girl was more than a victim of her mother.

"None, we were here to interview a, well a pregnant assailant and she was in the nursery crying. Social worker was there; just talked to her for a moment. She needs a family Mel, we're a family." Fin's voice was soft, he took her hand as they walked out.

"I thought we were going to try for a baby?" Her stomach was twisting just a little, they had been trying but there was a chance.

"We still can, but Mel, she needs to be loved; we could foster her. You were so good with her, tell me you didn't feel something holding her?"

"And if we bring her home and I come up pregnant?"

"Then they will be siblings and it'll be good for them. Mel, we can support a baby, or two. We have the money and a home, we're at a place in our lives where it's more than feasible and we've both raised kids. Mel I would love to see you pregnant, you'll be gorgeous with your belly sticking out but how long do we wait?"

"How long have we been together?"

"Maybe I'm a little over eager but Mel, I've screwed up more than I want to think about with my family in the past. I want more than that with you, more than visitation rights; I want to really do it right. And I'm sick of seeing junkies get knocked up and give their kids a crap shot at it." They stood together by the car and she saw an anger in his eyes, they both had regrets; this was one of his.

"You know if we do this at some point we will have to explain to her that she isn't ours biologically."

"That's years in the future, Mel don't think that far ahead."

She sighed, he only got it to a certain extent but she had a feeling he felt he had it figured out. "She's a newborn, and with an addiction Fin we won't both be able to keep working. With her rehabilitation we'll have to make regular trips for her doses to be reduced."

"So you could take a vacation and let your husband provide for you for once. Take a leave of absence and..."

"And stay home with the baby, think about what you're saying Fin. I have a career too, I have every right to it. How about you stay home with the baby?" She took the passenger seat and Fin was silent for a moment.

"I didn't mean it that way Mel. But you will work yourself to death given half a chance. You didn't come home for almost three days and I know it was horrible but you didn't have to work it straight. I don't want you to do that. "He paused and she was silent for a moment.

"Melinda I want you to come home, have time for us too. I don't want you to overdo it and pass out for a day. I'm allowed to worry about you, and care about you; I love you. I don't like pouring you into bed exhausted but I like the idea of taking care of you; and you are fully allowed to get mad at me for that." He had tensed up, he hadn't meant to but then he hadn't meant to hurt her either.

He glanced down when her hand closed over his knee, rubbing his leg. "I love you Fin, but I'm a creature of habit. I do a job and a finish it, I know I pushed myself to hard last week. I didn't balance my time, but we've been together six months; hardly married one. Can I ask for time to adjust?"

"Yes. I just haven't seen you like that before."

"I've pulled all-nighters to get you results before over the years Fin." She sighed and he knew it was hard for her.

"I guess I wasn't living with you then, and if I'd known you were pushing yourself to exhaustion I'd have waited on the results."

"No you wouldn't have, there were lives on the line. I do my job to the best of my abilities, Fin I have to; I'm the last voice for these people. They're mine and when they don't have a name, have at least that basic dignity it bothers me." Her voice hardened and he just listened, she tried to leave it at work and he knew that; but her job was as hard as his. Maybe harder, and he knew that, he just had to remember it.

"Can I pull you back sometimes? Is it fair for me to ask as your husband that you come home and ask for a hug?" She nodded and he kept going. "Then is it also fair to say you need a real break, more than a couple weeks? Or at least a redirect?"

"I can do it though, I can do it and keep living and not everyone can; it makes a difference. Maybe I do need the break, to step away from the death. But a baby Fin? That's a commitment to a life, it's going to challenge both of us." He navigated traffic for a moment and they just let it hang between them.

Finally he parked in the driveway and looked over at her. "Do you think we are ready for it?"

"I think you are going to be dragging what baby stuff I have from the crawl space." Melinda leaned in and he smiled as her lips pressed to his cheek. "We can do it but we still need to talk some more."

"I know. I know Mel, let's leave it for tomorrow." He needed to give her time, and he knew it.

She started working on supper and he took an over eager Springer for a walk. It was a Saturday but she knew who would still pick up; she had to know for sure. They had interned together on a couple rotations years back; Jessica had delivered Kaylen years ago.

When the familiar voice picked up she caught up with her old friend before the true reason came. "Hey Jess I need a blood test and an exam; can you fit me in?"

"Are you pregnant again already? You haven't been married a month yet you fool." She couldn't help but grin, Jessica could tease her but no matter what they would help each other out.

"I haven't been pregnant in eighteen years; you make it sound like it's a regular thing. I went off my birth control before we got married. I don't know for sure, it's just a chance."

Her friend just made a knowing sound. "Mhm, I can see you Friday; last slot if that works for you?"

"I'll be there, appreciate it." Melinda smiled and hung up, at least by then she'd know. Though there may or may not already be a baby in the house.

While she had a good relationship with her daughter Fin hadn't known that with his son; it wasn't fair to him. And he had a good heart, not many men would consider a baby with an addiction; but he had worked narcotics long enough that it bothered him.

Melinda just looked at her home and tried to imagine having all the things around that went with a baby. It would be nice to have a little girl here, this wasn't her first marriage or the old house. She could raise a family here with Fin, and she knew he would get up for the four am bottles and take his part as a parent.

She'd kept some of the stuff from when Kaylen was a baby, just because she was a pack rat; but the problem was she was good at packing things away. She'd packed it into the old house and when she moved out and filed papers taken most of it with her and packed it into the new house.

They'd have to dig it out and figure out what else they needed, and get approved; it would be a good bit of work either way. And then if they did have to double up at least they'd have eight months or so to get ready for it.

Fin came in and Springer bounded ahead of him, the dog collided with her knees for some attention and she rubbed an ear as the tongue lolled. She put the dog out in the back yard and turned back to the stove.

"Are you okay?" He stepped in close behind her, a hand sliding around her; it was comfortable.

"Yeah I am, but I needed time to think; I still need to think. We both do." It was a big decision, and it had consequences; but everything in life did.

"Fair enough." He stepped away and she watched him go to the fridge for a beer; she smiled. They were in for the nigh and it was nice, he offered one and she shook her head; not until she knew.

They settled down and Melinda was okay with it. "I've been thinking, if I take a leave of absence I could work cold cases; I'm sure there is some loop hole I can find. If we had a child I'd like to stay home for a while, I went back to work as soon as I could; mostly because I needed to."

"Or just take the time Mel, we can afford it; but that's your decision." Just the fact that he kept saying that made her feel safe; but not working wouldn't work.

"Fin I need to work, even with a baby I just need something extra; something to step away from it." She'd go stir crazy if she didn't have something outside of home.

"Alright. So we are bringing Laura home?"

"We're bringing Laura home. But not right away, this may be quick but it isn't going to be a shotgun deal. We take a few days and set up a nursery; I need at least that long to get work sorted out. I'll have to resign but I want to do it so that someday I can go back or stay on in some facet." She knew they wouldn't want her to flat out quit, but if she could convince them to hire Angela to replace her she could take the position they always whined about to review cold cases and look for identities.

There were things available to them now that hadn't been twenty even ten years ago; the problem was the time to go and run it. Read through the old cases, the analyses and see what evidence had survived and what could be done.

"Okay, can we see how much we can get done tomorrow?"

"You are so excited for this Fin." She smiled and he just stuck a piece of chicken in his mouth. "Let's do it right."

"Do you feel comfortable with it? I know she's going to be fussy but I'll take my turns getting up too."

"No you won't, not if I'm not working you won't. We'll take it as it comes, you can do the heavy lifting." Poking at her food she tried to tell herself she was ready to do the early morning wake ups again.

"Can I at least pull some stuff out tonight? See what we have and what we need." Fin finished his drink and stood up; reaching for her plate.

"Sure, if you want to crawl around I'll clear out the upstairs office, move the desk into our room?" She put the left overs away as he loaded the dishwasher.

"Sure, against the wall? We should have room for a playpen too, we want her to be able to be in our room too."

"There's space. Everything I've got is in the crawl space; you can do battle with that. I put it there when I moved it and it's probably at the back."

He rolled his eyes and she went up to the office while he headed downstairs. At least it was space, most of the stuff could just go to the basement; she'd put the desk in their bedroom just so she had somewhere to work.

Dragging everything but the desk into the hall she glanced at the room, it wasn't painted up like a nursery but they could make that happen with time. It had enough space and it was clean, once they set it up it would work. Something else hit her, she needed to talk to Kaylen about this.

She dragged everything downstairs and then sat on the stairs; Fin was half way in the crawlspace. "Why do you have so much Christmas stuff in here?"

"It's my storage spot, everything is in there. Baby stuff will be way behind that. We may have a play pen and crib; some random toys. We'll have to get clothes, bottles, diapers, formula." She watched as a box marked 'grade 8' was pulled out; that was old but anything she'd kept was going to behind that.

"You really are a packrat Mel." Fin opened the box for a moment and then dove back in.

"I never denied it." She laughed when he finally disappeared; he was getting there.

Finally he came out with the folded up playpen and she grinned, the start of the stuff; it would be interesting to see what she actually kept. Melinda dragged it upstairs as he pulled out another box.

"You have baby clothes Mel, why did you keep this stuff?"

"I keep everything. You'd be amazed where I cram stuff, that desk needs to get moved."

"One minute." He called up, she opened the playpen and put it in one corner, hopefully she kept the padded mat she'd had with Kaylen; that had been good for the little one to play on.

When he came up he had two boxed piled in his arms. "I'll help with getting that thing out of here, we can empty the one dresser in Kaylen's room for this one."

"No Mel we'll get one with a changing table thing; leave it be. You unpack this stuff and I'll get rid of the desk." She shot him a glare but he just rolled his eyes and nodded to the boxes; she stuck out her tongue.

She set to organizing things, putting stuff in its place, she'd emptied a set of shelves and left them, so started filling them. It was late by the time she had things out and cleaned, her list made for the next day and Fin repacked the crawl space.

Stepping into his arms she slung her arms around his neck as his came to her hips. "We can do it. It's fast but everything has been."

"We'll do it." Their lips met softly and it was a night.


	13. Chapter 13

She stood in the finished room now, her back ached and there was probably still yellow paint on her face but it was done. The things Fin talked her into.

Everything was in its place, they'd started early in the morning with the shopping list and he'd added paint; she'd planned to leave it. Of course he'd also got little stamps and things then claimed he hand no artsy touch so she got to do it.

They'd gotten everything put in its place in a day but it hadn't been easy, the room had gone from beige to yellow and pink with a white crib and little pixies chasing each other off the walls; she had to remember to point out that they were his choice to Munch.

He'd called the social worker and she'd drafted her resignation; it was the easiest way to do it. But it was a huge change and it scared her a little bit. She wasn't sure she wanted to give up her job, but before now she had always needed it; at work she was in control. At home her life had spiraled, good and bad so that she had needed the escape.

Fin didn't put that on her, they both had bad days and there might be a smart remark; but it was nowhere near what it had been. It would be kind of nice to be a stay at home mom first, and pick what she did second. And with her skill set, she would always be able to get a job; that was a security she had to remember.

They'd have a little girl in here and someday maybe even two, it would be nice to have kids in the house; a sister was something she had always wished for Kaylen. A sister or brother helped round a child out, she had dreamed of a big family at one point; years later it might be happening.

Hands came around her waist and she glanced back as her husband pulled her close; she could rely on him and it was safe. Covering his hands with hers she relaxed against him.

"You still have paint on your cheek." He kissed her anyways and she just closed her eyes. "You're tense?"

"I'm okay." Her voice told him all he needed to know, there was an edge to it that said she wanted to be tough.

He looked over her shoulder, her tank top was speckled with dried paint and the knee was out of her jeans; he wasn`t sure if she`d started like that or not. She`d had a hard week and her weekend had turned into even more work, at his request.

"C`mon Mel, hot bath and a back rub?" Not to mention her naked warm and wet, in more ways than one; he`d never turn that down.

"Aren`t you supposed to be the one whining for a back rub?" She turned in his arms and he smiled, it wasn`t his back and shoulders that got put through the ringer daily.

And he`d pawned crawling around on the floor to do the border on her. But then he had no clue about decorating, she was better at it. They`d bring Laura home mid-week and it was her life changing the most, he understood that; but he hoped it was what she wanted.

He`d talked to her family a bit, heard what she said and saw her with her daughter, his son and kids she didn`t even know. "Tub Mel, now."

"I`m your wife not your child." She whined as he towed her with him in the direction of the bathroom.

"Good, because I want you naked." He kissed her neck, sucking just a little; it always drove her crazy.

Closing the door he started the water, one hand around her waist; she`d escape given half a chance. She hated being taken care of but it was far to entertaining and rewarding, he did make an effort not to; just not a big one.

Sliding a hand under her tank he pulled it away easily, he knew her, every mark and every spot she liked to be touched; he`d never not want to strip her. Tossing the shirt away he popped the button on her jeans and the clasp of her bra pulling the rest of her clothing away.

He smiled as she covered herself instinctively stepping towards the tub, when his hands were on her she was open but otherwise she had an innate sense of modesty that he liked. He watched her face as she sunk into the warm water; she needed it.

Stripping down to his boxers he sat on the edge and took her body wash and lathered it over her, he could feel the knots in her back. She closed her eyes and lay back in the water he knew she was comfortable.

Later he lay her on their bed on a towel and straddled her hips; working the knots out of her back. She made the softest whimpers and groans, his body responded eagerly and he let his hands wander; life would get very busy very fast. He`d take every chance he got.

Pulling her to the edge of the bed he turned her on her hip and tucked her knees towards her chest; his fingers slipping between her thighs. He found her slick heat and looked at her face, her teeth already worrying her lip as she reached for him.

Dropping his boxers he lifted her leg just a little and lined himself up. Her back arched slightly and her eyes closed, he loved watching her react, the feeling of being with her. It was slow and sweet, they took each other in, and enjoyed it; it got better with time.

"Fin." She groaned as she tried again to get onto her back, it felt so good but he was taking his time and she wanted more. Her body slipped over and he held her tightly; she felt his and finally got to her back.

Wrapping her legs around his waist she pushed herself up; locking them together. He fell onto her and she grinned; her arms around his neck. "I love you Melinda."

She nuzzled his neck and stayed in her nest, he covered her body and she didn`t want to move. He rolled and spooned into her back, his arm under her cheek; she lay awake for a few moments. His hand rested on her belly as if he knew, neither of them could know for sure; but by the time they did there would already be a baby in the house.

The week flew by, her resignation tendered she warned Angela and pitched her plan; it was approved clean cut. She had a feeling it was mostly just because they couldn`t afford not to keep her on; and if they got in a jam she promised to try and help out.

She would though be reviewing some of their cold cases for them, to see if there was a possibility of rerunning any of them. It would be about all she had time for with a baby in the house. It had happened quickly but the ME`s office had enough problems and she had used it to her advantage.

Now she had to go home to her husband who was as wired as a little kid and her daughter who only added to the madness. They would pick up Laura tonight, Fin had called in for the day and she didn`t want to know what Kaylen was skipping; she was a little nervous.

She met Fin at the hospital and they went up to meet with ACS, they`d been out to the house on Tuesday; everything was falling into place. He reached out and took Laura, he was being so careful she couldn`t help but smile. Pulling down the blanket she let him hold the baby but she cooed to the little one. "You`re coming home Laura."

The little one just whimpered a little and she had to turn her attention to the pediatrician. "She`s having a pretty good day, we have her settled on this dose; tomorrow it will get reduced. I`ve written a prescription to cover you for the next four days then we`ll meet and check her out; just until we get a pattern."

"I`ll keep track of how she adjusts, so Monday?" She confirmed, reading the scrip and tucking it into her purse.

"We`ll see you early, hopefully she`ll do okay, she has been struggling on her off days." The doctor told her and she just nodded, there were always some sleepless night with a baby; just a few more this time.

They left the hospital, she helped Fin strap her into the carrier and let him secure it in the car. She was relieved to get home, Laura did well with the car ride, and it put her to sleep thankfully. When they got into the house though she had to keep her temper, Kaylen may have been a young woman but she had never really been around babies.

Springer greeted them at the door eagerly and she saw a look of panic cross Fin`s face; Kaylen came bouncing up behind. "Kaylen put the dog out now."

It was too late to keep the baby from crying but her daughter just stared at her so she grabbed the dog and hauled her towards the back door. When she came back Fin had a sobbing Laura in his arms, at least he didn`t look totally terrified. "Sit down and relax Fin, we`ll see if a bottle soothes her."

And she went back to the kitchen, dragging her girl with her. "Sorry Mom, I wasn`t thinking that Springer would scare her."

"She doesn`t even weigh twenty pounds, she has good reason to be scared of everything. You haven`t spent a lot of time around babies, you need to stay calm and relaxed; if your upset you`ll upset her." Melinda spoke as she mixed the formula, she could hear Laura crying in the other room. "This means a lot to Fin, you go in there and be quiet; no need to bounce around like a kid Kaylen. We want her to stay calm."

Her daughter nodded and went back to the living room, she followed behind, stopping to get a blanket. Gently she tucked it under Laura`s cheek and draped it over Fin`s shoulder. "Here support her like this, free up a hand for the bottle."

She tucked his arm carefully around her and put the bottle in his other; when Laura got it in her mouth she stopped crying and opened her eyes to suck at it. "There you are little one. "

Her home was officially a mad house, and it was going to stay that way for a while, she left Fin to tend to Laura while she got supper on; Kaylen joined her. "She is just so cute, and little, her tiny hand can barely hold Fin`s thumb."

"She`s pretty cute, she`s going to be a challenge though; she got a rough start. " She handed her daughter the plates and the message was received.

"That really sucks, and you can`t even like pretend she`s yours."

"She is ours, Kaylen she is your sister and as far as I`m concerned my daughter; color doesn`t matter." She told her daughter firmly, that wasn`t going to be an issue in her home; she wouldn`t stand for it.

"Okay, chill Mom, I was just saying."

"You be careful what you just say or you`ll find yourself in trouble. I want you to spend some time holding her and getting used to taking care of her. I need someone to watch her for about an hour on Friday; Fin has to work." She watched Kaylen to get a reaction, if she had she`d take Laura with her; but Jess would have too much fun with it.

"Okay. But do I have to like give her that stuff?"

"No, I`ll take care of her medications but she may want a bottle or need to be changed; I won`t be gone long but I have an appointment to keep."

"Okay, but if she freaks out I`m calling you." She nodded and let Kaylen off the hook, the girl would do her best. "Isn`t it my turn to have a kid? I mean you already raised me."  
" It is not your turn until you`re at least twenty five and even then not until you have a steady job. And if you`re calling me old forget birthday gifts for the rest of your life."

"How old were you when you had me?"

"I was finishing my MD, I had a good job and money from the air force saved; different situation." Kaylen just rolled her eyes; she wasn`t going to fight on it; it had very simply been different.

"Whatever Mom."

She held Laura through supper, the little girl liked to be cuddled even when she was sleeping; she did pretty well. Melinda needed a moment to remember what it was to always have a baby in arms, it was going to take some time to get used to it again.

After supper Kaylen held her for a little while before leaving, it was different having a baby in the house. It meant early nights but not sleeping all the way through and early mornings again. When Kaylen went home she stretched out on the couch and nestled Laura into her arms for a bottle.

Fin came and looked at her for a moment and she shot him a look; if he went for the damn camera he`d sleep on the couch. He picked up her feet and set them in his lap as he sat on the other end she smiled." Should we give her bath before bed?"

"With that tub thing?" She laughed at his expression, he wasn`t used to baby stuff.

"Yes Fin, just fill it with warm water." She spun and sat up, Laura blinked a little at her and made a soft sound.

He got up and followed her up the stairs, she felt his hands on her hips; it was nice. They filled the tub with water and she let Fin lower Laura into the water; he jumped when the baby reacted to the water. She didn`t seem to mind it too much but watching Fin was entertaining; he was so gentle.

Fin tickled her tummy and Melinda laughed as blue eyes fixed on him; he was so enthralled with her. That was all she needed to know, it was right; it was their family. She watched him put a fresh diaper on and wrestle her into a sleeper; Laura already had him wrapped around her finger.

They laid her in the crib and stepped back, she felt his arm slip around her and his chin rested on her shoulder; they watched until her eyes closed. "Enjoy it."

"I already am."

She just laughed. "I meant her being quiet, she`ll give us a run for it; I have no doubt."

"You have to admit, she looks pretty innocent like that, and you're thinking of the trouble she`ll cause." She headed to the door, and waited for him to lead the way before pulling it most of the way shut.

"I`m the one getting up with her, I`m allowed." She rolled her eyes and went in to clean up the bathroom; he shadowed quietly for a moment.

Catching her wrists he turned her to face him. "I know it's going to be hard at time but Mel, I`m really glad we did it."

She sighed and he studied her for a moment, something was slightly off but he wasn`t sure what. "Fin we may have something else coming."

"It`s going to be okay, we can take it, and you don`t always have to get up with her. I will too, Mel she`s ours." He pulled her close, rubbing her back a little; he didn`t want her to regret this.

"I know she is Fin and I love her."

"It brings back memories." Her cheek pressed to his chest and he dropped his head to let his cheek rest to her hair.

"Yeah it does." They cleaned up the bathroom together and downstairs he watched her make some bottles of formula; he had to remember the measurements for that.

They went to bed early and she put the monitor on her side of the bed before curling into him; he wrapped an arm around her. He was just drifting off when he heard the whimpers coming through the monitor; she patted his chest and started to get up.

"I`m not out yet either, we`ll get her together." He pulled her across the bed with him.

"You have to get up in the morning."

"You have to stay with her all day." They padded into the room and it turned out he was mostly useless, Melinda rocked her with a soother for a few moments and when it did no good simply lifted her shirt and put the baby to her breast. "I don`t get how that works."

"It`s natural, a comfort thing my skin is warm and she can`t see what else is in the room so she calms down. Probably not the first thing but it's faster and easier than letting her get really worked up and trying to calm her down." Melinda just cradled her and rocked, he leaned against the crib. "Go back to bed Fin, I`ll be her awhile."

He did as told but laid awake, it was a long time before she came back to bed; he pulled her close. It was easier to sleep with her in his arms. Gently he rubbed her belly, he worried a little that maybe it hurt that he`d pushed her to bring Laura home.

He hadn`t let go of the idea of them having a baby; he`d love to see her pregnant. And he`d do the midnight runs for her cravings, Melinda made an effort to be independent but he wanted to take care of her. He wanted to take care of her when she was nine months pregnant and again when she was ninety years old.


End file.
